Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter.
Today’s show is a Super Show that will culminate with our Main Event
being a Hell in a Cell between ‘the King of Cones’ Magnum Kone and ‘The Ragin
Cajun’ Rad Gumbo. Our GM Max
McGillicutty has stated that 3 local talents will get a shot at a contract
within the HCW tonight. He says that he
has his eye on additional talents but was not able to come to an agreement
before today’s show. Max kicks off the
show after the pyro goes off and says that the new talent got to pick names out
of a bowl and that is who they are wrestling tonight. He introduces the first person. His name is ScooterJ and right off the bat,
he flips the fans off so it’s safe to say he is not a good guy. He gets down to the ring and starts mouthing
off with the fans at ringside. Man, he
really is not making friends. He gets in
the ring and takes the mic from the ring announcer. “Listen, I’m not here to make friends…I’m
here because I want to be a champion. I
don’t need you stupid fans cheering for me.
My talent will speak for itself.
So sit your fat, out of shape selves down and watch pure awesomeness.” He gives the mic back to the ring announcer
and yells at the fans a bit more. His
opponent comes out…well, I guess he got the easiest match tonight…it’s
Turnip! Turnip tries to tell Max that he
shouldn’t be wrestling but Max tells him to go to the ring. A ‘Turnip’ chant starts and that ticks off
ScooterJ. Turnip gets in the ring and is
immediately attacked by ScooterJ. He
chokes Turnip on the ropes but manages to hit a suplex after struggling a
bit. ScooterJ then chopped Turnip in the
throat and then eye raked him a few times.
ScooterJ bodyslams Turnip who then tries to plead for the beating to
stop but that just infuriated ScooterJ all the more. He slapped him across the face and with one
final eye gouge, made the cover (with him arm over Turnip’s face) and got the
1-2-3. ScooterJ is victorious in his
first match. He flips the fans off again
before leaving. Turnip has to be helped
up and receives applause from the crowd.
(8 min)
Max
stands by and watches as ScooterJ and (eventually) Turnip leave. He then says he wants to introduce our next
new person. He is called Pete Punsher
but calls himself the PUN-isher. Pete
makes his way to the ring and introduces himself as a comedian who, after
trying his hand at stand up (and failing miserably), he wanted to give
wrestling a try but says this new crowd will love him after they get a whiff of
his (verbal) skills. He asks for a mic.
“You
are going to love this. Tonight, you are
treated to some of the best PUNS out there.
Stand by to be amazed.
“What
time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.” The crowd groans. “Ok, what about this one:”
“Did
you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.” The crowd groans even louder. “COME ON…Ok, here is a really good one.”
“Why
do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be
chicken sedans!” By now, the fans
realized this guy SUCKS at comedy and they let him know it by throwing crap at
him in the ring. Pete gets mad. “You wouldn’t know a good pun if it bit you
on the ass.” Before Pete can continue,
his opponent comes out. It is one half
of the Ryzing Storm – Terra Ryzing.
Pete’s eyes go all wide and he (over exaggerates a gulp) and bails from
the ring once Terra gets in it. The fans
don’t like Terra either but they seem to tolerate him more than the
PUN-isher. I guess we expected either
too much out of Terra or Pete is just that good but the PUN-isher beat the holy
hell out of Terra. It was almost a
massacre. Terra maybe got in 6 or 7
moves. That was it. When Pete was done, he hit Terra with the
PUN-ctuation and got the 1-2-3. Pete the
PUN-isher is victorious in his first outing.
(17 min). Pete leaves as the fans
throw stuff at him. Max just shakes his
head in disbelief.
We
cut backstage where El Gato Negro issues a challenge to Ravishing Raquel for
her money in the bank contract. Raquel
questions why El Gato wants “some of this” but El Gato says she’s not done with
the Duchess and wants…no, needs this match.
Raquel says she will humor her and give her a match.
Southern
Belle makes her way out to the ring and says tonight, she will be scouting not
1, not 2 but 3 matches to see who she wants to potentially manage. She goes to sit at ringside and awaits the
nexst match.
Max
comes back out and introduces the 3rd person wanting to give
wrestling a shot. He introduces Scarlett
Phoenix. Scarlett makes her way out
(she’s a red head) dressed in black (kinda like Marvel’s Black Widow). She gets cheered as she makes her way to the
ring. As she enters the ring, Sarona
Reiher makes her way out and questions why this ‘nobody’ thinks she can just
waltz in and get a contract when the rest of them had to earn it the hard
way. When Scarlett tries to respond,
Sarona attacks her. I guess this is
Scarlett’s opponent for the match.
Sarona tried to cheat multiple times along the way but Scarlett never
gave up. In fact, she went toe to toe
with her for the entire 20 minute match.
This was about as even as it can get (from a points perspective) and
Sarona was pissed when she could not score the pin in time. She attacked Scarlett again and this time,
she got dumped from the ring by Scarlett.
Sarona screamed that this was not over and Scarlett would be sorry. Scarlett waved to the fans and was cheered
as she made her way to the back. (20
min)
Backstage,
Leiton and Niven Snake approach the Ambassador and say that they want a rematch
against Phat Sol and ‘Red Hot’ Lucas Johnston.
The Ambassador quickly draws up a contract but Leiton and Niven both
scoff at it. P&L walk over and after
some name calling, the Snake brothers agreed.
The match will be held at the next show.
The Ambassador says that the team of Phat and Lucas will now be known as
P&L.
We
go back to the ring for our next Ladies match.
First, out comes ½ of the HCW twins Felicia Cummings. She gets in the ring and then her opponent,
member of the Queen’s Court, the British Crippler makes her way down. Belle seems to be impressed with the Crippler
and starts to jot notes down. This one
too ended up going to a 20 minute draw and as the cameraman zooms in on Belle’s
notes, we see that she wrote down a lot more for the British Crippler than she
did for Felicia. I guess we know who is
NOT on the short list. (20 min). Belle packs up her stuff and she’ll be back
out later for the match between Raquel and El Gato Negro.
Drew
the Canadian Love Machine is backstage and he comments to Larry Morton that he
has one of the best records in all of HCW and it’s astonishing that he is not
wearing gold. Drew states that after he
beats Oswald Zimmerman (5th Column member), he will be issuing a
challenge for a belt. Larry asks which
one but Drew doesn’t answer.
We
go back to the ring for the next match.
First, Desperado member Leon Teremoto comes out and says that his tag
team partner El Chango wanted the night off so he gets to wrestle in singles
competition. He tells whoever in the
back to send out his opponent. Almost
right on cue, out comes the Crocodile Hunter and he is dressed in an outfit
with a crocodile head on it and is wearing makeup that looks like his head in
surrounded by teeth. Croc hits the ring
and Leon goes right after him. Leon just
smothered Croc hitting him so hard his teeth rattled. Croc got tossed out of the ring early and
Leon followed him out and threw him into the steel steps hard. He dragged Croc back into the ring and
continued to overwhelm him. Leon picked
Croc up and powerbombed Croc first on the top turnbuckle then in the ring. He made the cover and got the 1-2-3 pretty
easy. Leon looked strong in his singles
outing. (8 min)
Magnum
Kone is backstage and he says he is tired of Rad Gumbo constantly interfering
in his matches and hopes that after tonight’s Hell in a Cell, things will
finally be put to rest, and he can get back on with his life.
We
head back to the ring where Oswald Zimmerman and his manager Ant Graham are
pacing while waiting for their opponent to come out. Drew pops through the curtain and the crowd
explodes. Drew has gotten the largest
pops of the night. The fans just LOVE
this guy. Ant and Oswald try to get the
fans to quiet down but that only riles them up all the more. This match was pretty even mostly because Ant
kept interfering. Finally, the ref
caught him and threatened to send him from the ring. Ant begged and promised not to do it
anymore. Drew ended up behind him and
popped him once in the jaw. Ant went
down like a ton of bricks. Drew got back
in the ring and used a handstand headscissors to send Oswald crashing into the
corner. Drew then rolled him up and got
the 1-2-3. Drew celebrates his win but
it is cut short when the Savior shows up on the stage. He acts like he’s going to interfere but then
walks off. Drew then says he is issuing
a challenge to Dude USA Mick Rude for the US title. (14 min)
Southern
Belle makes her way back out and sits at commentary for the 3rd and
final women’s match of the evening.
First, El Gato Negro comes out and she gets a good pop from the
crowd. Next, Ravishing Raquel comes out
and is accompanied by Master Bull but he does not go with her to ringside. He tells her something and then leaves. She makes her way to the ring. The two go at it as soon as the bell rings
and for the first 10 minutes, it looked like El Gato Negro was going to win but
then the Ladies Champion the Duchess came out and it threw El Gato off her game. Raquel capitalized and just a few short
minutes later, connected with the Simply Ravishing and made the cover, hooking
the leg for the 1-2-3. Ravishing Raquel
retains her contract. The Duchess enters the ring after El Gato left and she
and Raquel have a stare down but it’s the champ who actually breaks eye contact
first and backs off. (15 min)
Rad
Gumbo with his manager MJ are backstage.
MJ says that Magnum Kone is a bad joke that needs to be put away for
good. Rad says “Mon Ami, you be messin’
with da wrong Cajun. Tonight, your sad
little career is over.”
As
the Hell in a Cell is being lowered over the ring, Max comes out to thank the
fans for attending and reminds them that after next Sunday (9/11) we will go
back to twice a week cards.
The
Cell has been secured so we are ready for our main event. Rad Gumbo w/ his manager MJ comes out
first. He enters the unforgiving
structure. The ref tells MJ he is not
allowed inside the structure. Magnum
Kone comes out next accompanied by Haagen and Daas and they distribute ice
cream to the fans at ringside. Gumbo
taunts Magnum from inside the cell.
Magnum makes his way into the cell and the match is underway.
"The Ragin Cajun” Rad Gumbo stands over the prone body of Magnum Kone. Haagen and Daas tried to come to their boss’ aid but Gumbo dispatched them. The ref crosses his arms in an X. Medics make it into the ring to get Magnum Kone on a stretcher. They quickly get him out of there. Rad Gumbo celebrates in the ring with MJ and throws empty popsicle sticks at Magnum as the show comes to an end.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both men
collide into the ref. Ref goes down and
is out for 5 rounds.
Magnum
Kone pulls Rad out of the cell and attempts to execute a BATTLE ON TOP OF
CELL....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo neutralizes BATTLE ON TOP OF CELL and both men
return to the cell.
Referee
is incapacitated for 5 more rounds.
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT
Magnum
Kone executes a THE POPSICLE (PILEDRIVER)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....
Referee
is incapacitated for 4 more rounds.
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT
Magnum
Kone executes a KING KONE (HEADLOCK)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a NEW ORLEANS CRAB....
Referee
is incapacitated for 3 more rounds.
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Magnum
Kone executes a ICE CREAM SANDWICH (SPLASH)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against ICE CREAM SANDWICH
(SPLASH) but is unsuccessful.
Magnum
tries to go for the pin but the ref is still out.
Referee
is incapacitated for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....
Magnum
Kone absorbs the punishment.
Referee
is incapacitated for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled OC/TT
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Magnum
Kone executes a THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP)
but is unsuccessful.
Referee
is no longer incapacitated.
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
Magnum
Kone executes a THE POPSICLE (PILEDRIVER)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a NEW ORLEANS CRAB....
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a NEW ORLEANS CRAB....
Magnum
Kone reverses NEW ORLEANS CRAB!
Magnum
Kone executes a THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a RAM HEAD INTO RING STEPS-BANG!....
Magnum
Kone reverses RAM HEAD INTO RING STEPS-BANG!!
Magnum
Kone executes a THE DRUMSTICK (ARMBAR)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....
Magnum
Kone absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT
Magnum
Kone executes a THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a IRISH WHIP INTO CELL WALL AND
ONION
TWIST (MUTA LOCK)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo straps in the IRISH WHIP INTO CELL WALL AND
ONION
TWIST (MUTA LOCK).
Magnum
Kone does not submit!
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Magnum
Kone executes a THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a WHERE Y'AT? (QUICK JABS)....
Magnum
Kone attempts to defend against WHERE Y'AT?
(QUICK JABS) but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 14th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
Magnum
Kone executes a ICE CREAM SANDWICH (SPLASH)....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....
Magnum
Kone scores 9 points.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo scores 9 points.
Magnum
Kone is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo kicks out of the pin!
Magnum
Kone gets 7 points for the pin attempt.
=====
In the 15th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
Magnum
Kone executes a SCOOP SLAM....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a FRENCH QUARTER NELSON (REST HOLD)....
=====
In the 16th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....
Magnum
Kone absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 17th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled OC/TT
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Magnum
Kone executes a SCOOP SLAM....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 18th minute of the match: =====
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
Magnum
Kone executes a KICK FOE OFF RING APRON INTO CELL WALL....The wall
separates from the rest of the structure.
Rad Gumbo climbs the structure to try to get away. Magnum follows him up. MJ then (miraculously) hurls a chair to the
top of the cage. Just as Magnum makes it
over the top, Rad blasts him with the chair.
Then….
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a CHOKESLAM THROUGH CELL ROOF - INJURE
FOE....HOLY CRAP!!!
Magnum
Kone falls to the mat below. He looks to
be hurt. Rad makes his way back down and
enters the cage where the wall was separated.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Magnum
Kone was pinned by "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo!!!
"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo wins with a CHOKESLAM
THROUGH CELL ROOF - INJURE FOE over Magnum Kone!!!
"The Ragin Cajun” Rad Gumbo stands over the prone body of Magnum Kone. Haagen and Daas tried to come to their boss’ aid but Gumbo dispatched them. The ref crosses his arms in an X. Medics make it into the ring to get Magnum Kone on a stretcher. They quickly get him out of there. Rad Gumbo celebrates in the ring with MJ and throws empty popsicle sticks at Magnum as the show comes to an end.
Thanks
for reading. We will be back in a week
and then back to our normal twice weekly schedule. Stay tuned. Happy Labor Day folks.
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