HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – #432 (Sun – STARCADE WEEKEND)

Hello fans and welcome to Day 3 of the Starcade Spectacular.  I’ve got to say that the fans of the HWF and CSWA are some of the best in the business.  The fans arrived early, stayed late and partied into the early hours of the morning.   The show begins with owners Mr. Bychowski & Mr. Meyers coming out and thanking the fans for attending.  Tonight’s show is the cherry on top of the icing on top of the best cake in the world.  GM Max McGillicutty joins them on the stage and he promises this show will blow the socks of the fans.  Max says that everyone has performed spectacularly and tonight wil be no different.  Tonight, titles will be defended, some will retain and there could be all new champions.  Max says that there is no reason to delay and this show needs to get underway.  Max and the owners leave.  Pyro goes off and it’s time for our first match.

The first match is for the 6 Man tag team titles.  The challengers, the Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) make their way to the ring.   The crowd gives them a mixed reaction.   Next, the champs the A-Team (Alberto Del Rio, Adrian Neville and Antonio Cesaro) come out with their titles held high.  They receive a different reaction from the fans and it’s not pretty.  Alberto starts off against Seth Rollins.  The A-team showed why they are the champs. The A-team dominated the Shield and after Cesaro caught Ambrose with a  gutwrench suplex, he made the cover and got the 3 count.  The A-team retain their belts in this 21 minute match.

North American Champion Jay Lethal is in the back and says that tonight he takes on Kevin Owens but with the power of the Macho Madness in his corner, he will defeat Owens and retain his title.

Elsewhere in the back, The Desperados (El Chango and Leon Teremoto) talk about the success the Stache had becoming the Hardcore Champion and that they and Bray will be victorious in their respective matches and tonight will begin the Reign of Wyatt and the Desperados.

We go back to the ring for our North American title match:  Jay Lethal vs Kevin Owens.  Owens makes his way out to the ring first to a mixed reaction from the fans.  The fans seem to want to cheer him but they’re not sure what to make of Owens.  ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ blares over the loudspeakers and out comes ‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal dressed in his Macho Man attire.  Owens goes right after Lethal and Jay is not prepared for the onslaught from Owens.  Jay chops Kevin in the corner and knocks him down with an axe handle smash but Owens recovers pretty quick.  Kevin drops the champ with a Steenalizer (reverse powerbomb) but the champ kicks out.  Kevin ends up pulling Jay outside the ring and hits a package piledriver on the floor.  Jay never recovered after that.  Kevin outwrestled Jay in the ring and after kicking Jay in the face with a Canadian face stomp, he centered Jay in the middle of the ring and then hit a moonsault.  Kevin makes the cover and the ref counted 1…2…3.  Kevin Owens just defeated Jay Lethal to become the NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION.   Owens doesn’t spend much time in the ring.  He allows the ref to raise his arm, he takes his title and leaves.  (26 min)

The champs the Steel Curtain say that they’ve dealt with worse but just as they easily defeated teams like the Ascension, they will defeat the Desperados and will retain their titles.

As Kevin Owens is making his way backstage, he is greeted by fellow Canadians the Savior and Drew the Canadian Love Machine.  They congratulated him on his win.  He shook their hands and said that he thanks them for their kind words but he only associates with Canadians who are champions.  He walks off leaving the Savior and Drew speechless.

Gail Kim is also backstage and talks about taking Paige back to school and will teach her a lesson.  She is the Women’s Champion and that will never change.

We go back to the ring and the Tag team titles are on the line next with the Steel Curtain vs the Desperados (El Chango & Leon Teremoto).  The Desperados came out and they were booed (no surprise). The Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck Steel) come out next and they get the biggest pop of the night.  The Steel Curtain hold the titles high but are immediately attacked by the Desperados and the ref rings the bell.  The Desperados, for 14 minutes owned the champs.  It wasn’t until a double team by the champs that the Steel Curtain found their rhythm and proved why they ARE the champs.  This went on for a whopping 28 additional minutes.  At one point, the Stache made his way down but was immediately stopped by the ref, reprimanded and sent to the back.  While that was going on, the Ascension (Viktor and Konnor) ran in from the crowd and attacked the Steel Curtain.  The hit Buzz Steel with the Fall of Man through a table taking him out.  They took Starbuck and repeatedly rammed his back into the steel post.  Viktor rolls Starbuck back into the ring and he and Konnor took off through the crowd.  Leon picked up Starbuck and locked him in a Gorilla Hug.  Buzz was on the outside starting to recover but there was no way he could make the save.  Starbuck was fading fast and the ref raised the arm one (it fell), a second time (fell again) and a third (fell).  Leon dumps Starbuck to the mat as the bell rings bringing this one to an end.  The Desperados have just defeated the Steel Curtain by submission to become the NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!  The Stache comes back out and celebrates with his team and they leave pretty quick as they don’t give a rats ass about the fans.  The Steel Curtain had to be helped to the back.  (43 min)

A vignette from Bray Wyatt airs.

"This world has an infection and the virus is the human race. Through all these troubling times, it makes all the sense in the world that you, Brock, would place yourself right in the middle. After all, what would the world be without its hero? Samoa Joe, what would the world be without its knight in shining armor here to save the day? People like you, Brock…Joe…you’re hollow. You're full of empty promises. You promise to save these people, you promise to keep them safe, you both tell them that you both expect to walk out with all the championships. Liar. You're both a liar. This is a terrible world. A cold, cold, dark, and lonely place. You are nothing but illusions but I stand for everything that is real. Now you say the future has got to come through you first. I couldn't agree more, Brock, Joe…please, excuse me. Allow me to properly introduce myself. My name is Bray Wyatt. I am the reaper that bring death to this era of lies. Follow the buzzards."

The show is starting to wind down as we have our second to last match of the night.  Max comes out first and says this will be a best of 3 falls, 30 minute time limit match.  Paige makes her way to the ring first and is followed shortly by Women’s Champion Gail Kim.  Paige pokes Kim in the chest and the bell rings and this one is under way.  The champ controlled the tempo of the match and kept Paige minimized but Paige somehow nails the Paige Turner out of nowhere and gets the first fall in 9 min by submission.  The second fall is awarded to the champ after Paige got disqualified after choking Kim out and wouldn’t let up. (15 ½ min). Max comes out and says that there is no way Paige can get a win in only 6 minutes so he makes this final fall 15 min.  The winner of this fall walks out as the Women’s Champion.  This match was about as even (on points) as one can get.  Neither would let the other get any real advantage over the other. Gail went to the top rope to try for something (no idea what) and whatever it was, she missed.  Paige locked in the Paige Turner again and almost immediately, Gail tapped out.  Paige gets the win and becomes the NEW  WOMEN’S CHAMPION.  The fans seemed to appreciate her talent in the ring so they gave her and Gail a standing ovation.  Gail left first and Paige followed a few minutes later (9 min).

There is a commotion backstage and the Steel Curtain and the Ascension are fighting.  The Ascension say that the spewing of crap that the Steel Curtain are laying on everyone needed to be shut off and Viktor said the way to do it was to shove his fist down the throat of Buzz Steel.  Max comes over and says that both teams need to separate now.  Max promises both teams that they will get their hands on each other sooner rather than later.  Both teams leave.  Max says that even though the Dudleys and Ascension went through HELL in their tables ladders and chairs match, he doesn’t feel anything was settled.  So, once we break into next year, both teams will meet once again and this time it will be in a Hell in a Cell.

Sadly, it is time for the final match of our PPV spectacular.  The show promised not to let anyone down and this final match will leave them all behind.  Before any announcements could be made, Brock Lesnar and his mouthpiece Paul Heyman come out first mic in hand.  Paul begins.

“My name is Paul Heyman.  I am the advocate for my client the Beast Incarnate Brock Lesnar.  My client wants me to let you all know that he is upping the challenge to his competition tonight.  Brock says he will put his CAREER on the line and if does not become the triple crown champion, he WILL RETIRE.  That’s right…you heard me.  But for one moment, if you think that Brock will even be put in that situation, you are sadly mistaken.  Brock will dominate Samoa Joe and will destroy what there is of Bray Wyatt and then the Beast Incarnate will become the ONE TRUE CHAMPION and you, the fans, will just have to accept it.   (He clears his throat like he’s going to break out into song.)  HAIL, HAIL Brock Lessssssssssssnar…..” and he is interrupted by new music and the CSWA World Champion Samoa Joe comes out.  Joe powerwalks to the ring and yanks the mic out of the hands of Heyman.

“MY name is Samoa Joe.  I am the CSWA World champion.  I rule my kingdom and am at the top of my game.  I’ve been all over the world; I’ve brawled all over the world but there is no place like the CSWA and HWF for the best competition.  Brock, you are the HWF World Champion.  If I recall, I’ve beaten you before so tonight will be no different.  But where you and your crony are mistaken is that I will be the one taking all the gold.  I will be the one to defeat the man known as Bray Wyatt AND the Beast known as Brock Lesnar and I will be…”

Music hits and out comes the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt.  Bray is accompanied by the NEW World Tag Team Champions El Chango and Leon Teremoto and the Hardcore Champion the Stache.   Bray climbs into the ring and takes the mic from Joe.

"I have always been fascinated with pride. It is my favorite sin. It has the power to blind even the strongest men, even those who claim to be immortal. Hey kids, take your vitamins and say your prayers. All praise be to the virtue of hustle, loyalty, and respect, as if they could do you any good. You, Brock. Joe, you are both liars, and your foolish pride allows you to pray upon the weak and fill them up with all this hope. But hope is dead. As will be your legacy, Brock. I can see it in your eyes. You don't get it. How could you possibly get something that you can't comprehend? But I'll lay it out for you, Joe, right here and right now. As you look up at me, you will see a man. If you look down at me, you will see an enemy. But if you look at me square in the eye, you will see a god. Just what I thought, boys. A little bit more empty promises, a little bit more hope. Well I say it's always fun and games with you two until it's you caught in the spider’s web.  Prepare for the destroyer of dreams."  The Desperados leave.

The bell ring and all 3 immediately start beating the crap out of each other.  At first, Joe and Bray teamed up to beat on Brock but then the Beast would battle back and nearly decapitate his opponents with huge clotheslines.  Brock hits an F-5 on Bray Wyatt on the floor.  Joe nails a muscle buster and gets a 2 count.  Brock overpowers Joe and hurls him from the ring.  Brock rubs the back of his neck and paces in the ring waiting. Joe in the meantime eats a shortarm clothesline from Bray. Bray is back in and Brock hits a powerslam.  Bray kicks out at one.  Joe is back in and kicks Brock in the face and sends him to the outside.  Joe hits a running senton on Bray and gets a 2 count.  Brock clubs Joe in the back of the head and Bray drops Joe with Sister Abigail.  Brock hoists Bray over his head and hurls him onto Joe on the outside of the ring.  Fans are going ape-shit.  Brock chokes Bray on the top rope and sends him back to the outside.  Joe tries to sneak in but gets caught and Brock flattens him with a powerslam.  This goes on for 10 minutes with each person taking the time to beat the holy hell out of the other.  At one point, Joe’s Enforcer’s teammates (Mark Henry & Ryback) came down but Brock dispatched them both.  This gave Joe and Bray time to recover and they both went after Brock. Bray pulled away the mat on the outside of the ring. Joe then hit Brock with a Muscle Buster on the concrete floor.  Bray then picked Brock up and pulled him to the Spanish announce table. He then hit Brock with Sister Abigail on the table and it collapsed.  Brock is out cold.  Samoa Joe then grabs a chair and slides it into the ring.  Joe peppers Bray with lefts and rights and then sets up for the Muscle Buster on Bray.  Bray managed (somehow) to wiggle out of it and hits Joe with Sister Abigail ON the chair.  Bray makes the cover and the ref counts 1…2…3!  Bray Wyatt has just defeated both Brock and Joe to become the Triple Crown (Undisputed, HWF and CSWA World) Champion.  (30 min)  The Desperados (El Chango, Leon Teremoto and the Stache) all come out and celebrate with their leader.  They raise Bray’s arms as the winner of the match.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out and officially declares Bray Wyatt at the Triple Crown champion.  He awards the 3 belts to Bray and then steps aside for him to celebrate in the ring.  The fans are not happy.  In the ring, they don’t care.   With that, the show ends.

Thanks for reading.   There is sure to be fallout from the PPV at our next show.  After that, Max has given the entire staff off for the rest of 2015.  Stay tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – #431 (Sat – STARCADE Continues)

Hello fans and welcome to Day two of our Starcade PPV spectacular.  Today’s show picks up where yesterday’s show left off.  GM Max McGillicutty makes his way to the stage and welcomes everyone here and at home to our show.  Max says that he is not going to waste any time and wants to get this show moving. 

CSWA World Champion Samoa Joe comes out to a huge pop.  Joe talks about his accomplishments and says that adding the Triple Crown to his collection will prove he is the best in the business.  He will walk out with all the gold and then everyone in the business will respect him.  He is interrupted when HWF World Champion Brock Lesnar comes out.  Brock says that Joe is mistaken and that he is under the delusion of who will walk out with the belts.  Brock says that he, the Beast Incarnate, will walk out with all the gold.  Brock even says that he’d be willing to put his entire career on the line to make his point. 

They are interrupted by Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt.  Wyatt has a mic.   

"Simmer down, boys. I know what you're feeling right now, Brock…Joe, and believe me when I say it's okay to be afraid. For I am the hammer that everybody fears but she is the force that drives the nail. So my advice to you is that you enjoy your world as long as you can, man... because I am gonna take it all away. Follow the buzzards."  Bray drops the mic and walks away.  Brock stares at Joe before leaving.  Joe eventually leaves.

We go to the ring for our first match.  This is a Women’s Money in the Bank match.  This one had 20 different women come down to participate but both Women’s Champion Gail Kim and Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel were both eliminated early.  The final two left were Awesome Kong and Bayley.  They fought for 17 minutes trying to eliminate each other but had no luck.  Bayley outwrestled Kong and dazzled the monster with her quick moves.  Bayley ends up hitting a corkscrew armdrag and rolled into a pin and got the 1-2-3.  Bayley wins this one and is guaranteed a future title match at a belt of her choice.  She celebrates with the fans before leaving.  (30 min)

We cut to the back where Devon and Bubba Ray Dudley are being interviewed.  They say that the Ascension are now in their yard participating in a match they’ve mastered.  Bubba says that the Ass-cension will be destroyed tonight.  Devon looks at the camera and says “TESTIFY.”

The Elitist Champion Reid Rothchild says that he has a match against Wade Barrett.  Barrett got lucky in their last match but tonight, luck just ran out.  “This is MY title and it isn’t going anywhere.”  Reid then walks off camera.

We go back to the ring for our next match.  The fans immediately chant “We want tables” (clap, clap, clapclapclap) and the Dudleys come out first carrying two tables.  The fans pop loud.  They get to the ring and set up the tables and then climb the turnbuckles much to the delight of the fans.  Their music is abruptly cut off and out comes Viktor and Konnor – The Ascension with their manager MJ.  They have a table of their own but they are heavily booed as they make their way to ringside.  Viktor takes a mic and tells the Dudleys that just like all the tag teams before them, the Ascension will destroy the Dudleys and make them barely a footnote in the history of professional wrestling.  The bell rings and all 4 men start beating the crap out of each other.  Konnor introduces a chair into the brawl and Devon pulled out a ladder.  This just became a tables, ladders and chairs match. Stuff was flying everywhere and the Dudley’s showed the Ascension the meaning of the term ‘hardcore’.  The Dudley’s put both Konnor and Viktor through separate tables but neither could get the pin.  At one point, a table was set up between two ladders (up off the mat) and one below it.  While fighting on the ladders, Devon and Konnor were trading punches and Devon almost fell off.  He armdragged Konnor from his side of the ladder, up over the top, through the first table and down to the mat through the second table.  “HOLY SHIT” chats echoed throughout the arena.  Bubba put Viktor through a table with a Bubba Bomb but still the Ascension kicked out.  Somehow, Viktor and Konnor recovered enough and started to battle back.  All 4 men ended up in the ring again with Konnor dispatching Devon.  Viktor, out of nowhere, hits the Psycho Crusher on Bubba through another table and just as he crawls over to make the cover, the bell rings bringing this one to a 30 minute draw.   The fans once again popped HUGE as all 4 men struggled to get to their feet.  MJ gets in the ring and raises the arms of his two men who then leave the ring.  MJ then goes over to Bubba and starts shaking a finger in his face.  Bubba looks to the crowd and gives them a ‘thumbs up’ and grabs MJ and Bubba Bombs him right in the ring.  Viktor slides back in and pulls MJ out of the ring.  They help their manager to the back while a beat up and bruised Dudley Boys celebrate with the fans before leaving.  (30 min)

Sting is interviewed and says that tonight is a trial by fire.  He will teach Tyler Breeze the meaning of the word respect and he do that from pillar to post and prove that he is worthy to carry the X-Division title.

Booby Roode comments about Sonic Blade hiding from him all this time and now he finally gets his rightful shot at the IC title. He is the “Adonis” to Sonic’s “Slug”.  This will be an easy win.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  First, over the loudspeaker blares “I’ve got some bad news for ya…” and out comes Wade Barrett.  Barrett struts to the ring and then raises his arms like he’s won the lottery.  Reid’s music hits and out comes the Elitist Champion and he is accompanied by his wife and the NEW Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel.  Barrett proved that his win over Reid in the non-title match was no fluke and took the match to the champ.  Reid could not stop the onslaught that Barrett brought forth and was on the receiving end of a beating he’s not had in quite a long time.  At 17 minutes, Reid was fading fast but not fast enough for Wade.  Wade left the ring and grabbed a chair.  The ref told Wade to drop it and Wade blasted Reid with the chair resulting in a disqualification.  Reid retains the title via DQ.  The Diva’s Champion jumped in the ring and started mouthing off to Wade.  He grabbed her by the wrist and threatened to drop her but Reid recovered quickly and got to his feet nailed Barrett with the Rothchild Stunner.  Reid and Raquel grabbed both of their titles and left the ring.  Barrett eventually recovered and left the ring rubbing his jaw.  (18 min)

Tyler Breeze says tonight, the Icon Sting faces off against the X-Division champion and there will only one winner and that HE will be the one with his arm raised at the end of the match.

John Cena shows up backstage and is told that his match against the Undertaker tonight will be a Last Man Standing match.  Cena says that the Undertaker is past his prime and says that today, the Undertaker doesn’t respect him but after their match, he will.

We head back to the ring for the next match.  The challenger Bobby Roode comes out first and is booed.  He is then followed by the Intercontinental Champion Sonic Blade.  Blade is accompanied by his tag team partner the Nigerian Wraith.  The Wraith and Sonic Blade get a big pop from the crowd.  The match was pretty even and both men really held their own.  At one point, Bobby Roode pie faced the Wraith and that really pissed him off.  The Wraith, all nonchalantly, grabbed a chair and just as Roode turned around, the Wraith blasted him with it.  The ref then immediately disqualified Sonic Blade for outside interference.  Bobby Roode wins the match but the title does NOT change hands on a disqualification so Sonic Blade (luckily) retains his title.  (11 min)

Larry Morton is in the back and introduces the Phenom the Undertaker.  Morton asks Undertaker his thoughts about John Cena.  Undertaker says that Cena is an overpaid jobber who believes his own hype.  Undertaker says he’s been around for 2 decades and isn’t going anywhere.  Cena, however, will have his final match tonight and once he’s gone, Undertaker will once again go after the World title and reassert his dominance as the greatest wrestler in this sport.

We go back to the ring for our next match.  The challenger Sting rappels down from the rafters wearing his trenchcoat and pulls a baseball bat out from under his coat.  Music hits and out comes the X-Division Champion Tyler Breeze. For 5 minutes, the two went toe to toe but after Tyler connected with an Implant DDT and a 2 count, the tide turned in the favor of the champion.  Tyler then beat Sting in and out of the ring with the Icon struggling to keep up.  Sting finally was able to connect with a Scorpion Death drop and that changed the tide in favor of the Icon.  Sting took the fight to Tyler and Tyler seemed worried.  The two continued to duke it out reversing each other’s moves and trying to one-up each other.  The fans started cheering for both men and they actually stopped the match to soak in the reactions from the fans.  Sting managed to lock Tyler in the Scorpion Death Lock but Tyler actually powered out of it much to the surprise of Sting and Tyler he locked Sting in an abdominal stretch.  Tyler hits Sting with an Implant DDT but Sting gets right up and does his Stinger scream in Tyler’s face trying to put Tyler off his game.  Tyler instead hits another Implant DDT and hooks the leg this time getting the 1-2-3.  Tyler Breeze retains his title.  As Tyler celebrates in the ring, Sting eventually recovers and confronts Tyler.  Sting stares at him for a moment before extending his hand.  Tyler looks around and the crowd pops.  Tyler eventually shakes Sting’s hand in a sign of mutual respect.  Sting leaves the ring and lets Tyler soak in the reaction from the crowd.  (21 min)

Clarkus Kentus comes to the ring and he introduces the new Hardcore Champion – The Stache.  Stache says that it was inevitable and he knew that he would be victorious over Magnum Kone and CJ.  CJ then walks to the ring and says that the Stache was the better man IN that match (but he sucks otherwise). Stache holds the belt in CJ’s face and says that the best man has the title.  CJ says that Stache is the champ but he did NOT beat him but pinned Magnum.   When the Stache decides he wants to man up, CJ will be waiting for his chance to get the belt…again.   The Stache tries to take a swing but CJ locks him in the guillotine choke and won’t let up.  The Stache is tapping out but CJ just cinches it in until the Stache passes out.  El Chango and Leon Teremoto run out but CJ takes off through the crowd.  He says the Stache best get prepared for him in the new year because he is about to make Stache’s life a living hell.  The Desperados help their teammate to the back.

GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that it is time for the main event.  The Doctor of Thuganomics takes on the Phenom the Undertaker.  Max says that the rules for this match will be Last Man Standing – the loser of the match will be the one who cannot answer the 10 count.  First, he introduces John Cena who comes out to a small pop but that gets buried in the booing that follows.   A gong sounds and an eerie blue light shines the way to the ring.  The Undertaker makes his way out and takes his time getting in the ring.  He climbs in to the ring and raises his arms and the lights come up.  The bell sounds and Undertaker goes on the offensive not caring what rules he was breaking.  Undertaker had to be reprimanded by the ref numerous times and the fans started getting tired of it.  Cena started to battle back and the cheering, little by little, started to increase and Undertaker started getting booed.  Both men fought all over the place.  Cena hit an F-U but Undertaker popped up at 2.  Undertaker would hit both a tombstone piledriver and the Last Ride and Cena would kick out of both…barely.  Undertaker ended up hitting Cena with a chokeslam through the Spanish announce table.  He barely made it back to his feet by the 10 count.  The more Undertaker threw at Cena, the more the Dr. took.  The fans began cheering for Cena more as the match went on.  By the time the match hit the 20 minute mark, the audience was very pro-Cena and that pissed off the Undertaker.  Finally, Undertaker pulled Cena out of the ring and took him to the regular announcers table.  He called for the last ride.  He set Cena up but Cena struggled out of it and picked up the Undertaker and nailed the F-U right through the table.  John makes the cover and the ref counts 1-2-3.  John then steps away and the ref begins the 10 count.  The ref counted to 10 and Undertaker was still down.  John Cena wins this one in a very hard fought fashion.  The fans pop for John and at first he’s not sure how to accept it but then finally takes it in and celebrates with the fans. 

As the camera pans the building, it looks up to the rafters (something caught the camera’s attention) and we see the Caped Crusader up there.  He smiles and then disappears back into the shadows. 

With that, the show comes to an end.  We have one final day and those matches promise to live up to the past two days events.  Stay tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – #430 – STARCADE Day One

Hello fans and welcome to STARCADE!  This is our 2^nd biggest PPV of the year behind Wrestlemania and is proving to be right up there with top of the line matches and the best that the HWF and CSWA will bring.

The show kicks off as (normally roving) reporters Clarkus Kentus and Larry Morton head to commentary to call today’s show.  Pyro then goes off and out comes owners Mr. Bychowski & Mr. Meyers.  They thank everyone for attending both live and on pay per view and then introduce the man who has made this all possible…GM Max McGillicutty.  Max comes out and the crowd pops.  Max says that the show will give everyone their money’s worth and expects everyone will go home happy.  He tells the producers to kick off the show and pyro goes off again as Max and the owners leave.  A video montage is shown with everything that has led up to this show of shows.

Our first match kicks off and it is for the Mens’s Money in the Bank match.  Final two are Luke Warm and Jimmy Uso and their battle goes 28 minutes with Uso getting the win after eliminating Johnston.   GM Max McGillicutty comes out and awards Jimmy Uso his Money in the Bank contract but tells Johnston to hold up.  He says that Johnston played it safe and stayed out of most of the confrontations and that shows he has some smarts.  He tells Johnston that he can’t offer him a contract at any belt because he didn’t win but said that he would give him a shot at one of two belts.  He can have a shot at the North American title or the Elitist title and that shot would be guaranteed to be redeem anytime in the next 4 months (basically he has until Wrestlemania next year to cash in).  Johnston shakes hands with Max and Jimmy and they all leave.  (60 minutes total)

In the back, The Miz (accompanied by the Fiend) says that Phat Sol has a shiny head and mocks how much glare comes off of it.  He tells the Fiend that it won’t be a problem during their match because Sol will be on his back counting lights as the Miz walks out with his title intact.

We cut to another backstage segment where Hardcore Champion Magnum Kone (along with Haagen and Daas) say that there is no way he is losing the Hardcore title tonight.  Haagen and Daas will prevent anyone from interfering on the Stache’s behalf and since CJ has no friends and no one cares about him, he will be easy to dispatch. 

We continue the tour backstage where Diva’s champion Taylor Bella is being asked about Madame Jade inserting herself into her match against Ravishing Raquel.  She says that it doesn’t matter if it’s one on one, two on one or the whole flippin’ roster…she’s walk out with her title intact.

We go back to the ring for our next match which is the Miz defending the US title against Phat Sol.  Phat makes his way to the ring to a pretty large pop.  Just as he gets in the ring, his music is cut off and replaced with “I’m AWEEEEEEEEEEESOME” and out comes the Miz with the Fiend in tow.   The ref stops the Fiend from entering the ring and actually sends him to the back much to the chagrin of the Miz.  The Fiend leaves under protest.  Miz then attacks Phat Sol.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that this match needs a definitive winner so it will be best of 3 falls.   Phat actually takes control of the match but after Miz hits a low blow, he hits a legsweep facebuster and with a hook of the tights, gets the 1-2-3 in 9 minutes.   Phat then goes right into beating down on the Miz with such ferocity that Miz had never experienced.  Right at the 4 minute mark, Miz goes outside the ring and grabs a golf club.  The Fiend walks back out and the ref questions him being there.  Phat grabs the golf club and whack Miz in the nads with the golf club and then picks him up and hits the Phat Phat (Brainbuster).  The ref turns around in time to see Phat make the pin and counts 1..2…3.  Phat Sol has won this fall in 4 minutes.   Max comes back out and says that there is one fall left but they have to accomplish this in the next 17 minutes as there is only 30 minutes for their encounter.  Both men beat the crap out of each other but Phat was destroying the Miz.  Just as we got within the final few seconds of the match, Miz hits the legsweep facebuster but just as the ref counted 1, the bell rang bringing this one to a close.  This one ends in a 30 minute time limit draw.  Miz rolled out of the ring and took his title with him.  Phat was on fire so I’m sure he will get a rematch at some point.  (30 min total)

Alexander Rusev is in the interview area and he says that the Russian Chain match is HIS match and he will make Ryback humble.

Elsewhere, the Canadians (the Savior and Drew, the Canadian Love Machine) get a huge pop (mostly ladies for Drew) and they say that tonight, the Band will be broken up and they can thank their neighbors from the Great White North for ridding them from the CSWA and HWF once and for all.

Bray Wyatt and the Desperados come down to the stage.  El Chango says that they will all be victorious.  Bray will become the triple crown champion, the Stache will win the Hardcore title and the Desperados will become the tag team champions.  El Chango hands Bray the mic.

Bray:  "Everything you think you know about your own lives, is all based upon lies. Men, you wake up every morning, you go to work, you break your backs just trying to earn a little bit of cash so that you can buy yourself those fancy suits, so that you can buy yourself those sports car and impress the women. And now women, you wake up every morning, you look at yourself in the mirror, and you coat make up all over your beautiful faces because you didn't even realize that you are just wearing the mask that society demands you to wear. It's a bottomless pit of lies. They plaster your hopes and dreams up on a billboard. And who is the man that is on that billboard? Well he's the man that hides behind the plastic smile. He's the man that plays the role of hero better than anyone else. He's the man that tells you everything you think you need to hear and I think to myself, oh, what a wonderful world.

"Yet this is the same society that intends to vilify a man like me. Why? Because I say everything they're afraid to do. Because I do everything that they're afraid to do. And I promise you today, I promise you that on Sunday, I promise you up until my final breath that with the sword of my tongue I will slay this mighty dragons known as Samoa Joe and Brock Lesnar. I will stand over their bodies and I will whisper ‘Boys, it's time to end this lie'. I will then take the titles and that will be all.  Follow the buzzards."  Bray and the Desperados all leave.

Alexander Rusev makes his way out to the ring and he has his chain draped around him.  He gets into the ring and removes the chain and starts smashing it around the ring.  Ryback’s music hits and the Enforcer member runs out and hits the ring as Rusev bails.  Rusev gets back in the ring and the ref finally gets the two of them chained together and rings the bell.  Ryback just destroyed Rusev and the more Rusev blasted Ryback with the chain, the more enraged Ryback became.  Ryback blocked a chain shot and began choking Rusev with it.  Ryback almost knocked out Rusev with a chain shot and followed it up with a spinebuster.  He then hits a backpack stunner and then covers him for the 1-2-3.  Ryback wins this one and Rusev is completely out.  Medics come out and help Rusev out of the ring.  (18 minutes of pure HELL (for Rusev))

We go immediately to our next match with the Band (Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon and the Axe) making their way to the ring amidst the booking from the fans.   Pick and the Axe flip off the fans.  The Savior and Drew, the Canadian Love Machine make their way to the ring.  Dirk and the Axe laugh at them (they are smaller in size but not heart).   The Savior and Drew double team the Band and beat them senseless.  Pick and the Axe can’t get their game on straight.  Drew opened a can of whoop-ass that hasn’t been seen since the days of Stone Cold Steve Austin.  After whomping on Axe, he makes the hot tag to Dirk who seemed reluctant to get in the ring.  The Savior nails a flying bodypress on the Axe taking him out.  Drew kicks Dirk in the hamstrings weakening them.  He then hits a corkscrew pescado and makes the cover in the middle of the ring for the 1-2-3.  The Canadians win this one in solid fashion and the Band slink off while Drew and the Savior savor their win and spend time with the fans before departing.  (9 min)

CJ is in the back and cuts a promo.  “ohhhhhhh stache maybe you shoulda took that right in Albuquerque ahahahhaa you ritten ratten no good ohhhhhh wascally wabbit (done in yosemite sam voice) ahahahahahaha  and cones maybe you haag and daas need a new sponsor ahahahahahahha not my problem that you got the bubble guts...maybe it’s the lack of intestinal fortitude!!!!!  The hashtag loves mingling the fans......his supporters.....the ones he moves the crowds for!!!!  The hashtag is honored and downright ecstatic to have the opportunity to get both you cowards in the ring...nowhere to run...nowhere to hide and noone to save you!!!!  The HWF and CSWA has been building towards the moment for weeks....and FINALLY we...the whole world is gonna find out if it’s all talk and hype...and WHO IS THE REAL DEAL!!!!! Come starcade.....no more game no excuses it is time to put up or shut up.....so JUST BRING IT!!!!  HASHTAG OUT!!!”

It is time for our Diva’s title match:  Taylor Bella (champ) vs Ravishing Raquel vs Madame Jade.  Jade made her way to the ring first and was cheered.  Prestige Inc. member Ravishing Raquel, accompanied by her husband ‘the Elitist’ Reid Rothchild, came out next and she, of course, was booed.   The Diva’s Champion Taylor Bella came out last to a mixed reaction from the fans.   Raquel stood back and let Taylor and Jade fight it out.  After 4 minutes, Taylor was going for a pin after a sunset flip but Raquel pushed her off and hurled Jade over the top rope.  She followed her out and repeatedly bodyslammed her on the floor.  Jade looked hurt.  Raquel gets in Taylor’s face and says “now, it’s between the two of us”.  Master Bull comes out and says that the “no countout” rule will be removed for the remainder of this match.   Raquel throws Taylor right out of the ring and then rams her shoulder repeatedly into the steel post.  Taylor is in a lot of pain.  Raquel stretches Taylor’s arm around the post making the injury worse.  Raquel then took Taylor back in the ring and worked on the arm.  Taylor couldn’t even fight back.  After stomping on it, Raquel locks in the Ravishing Chickenwing.  Taylor screams in pain trying to fight out of it but was failing.  Eventually, the pain became too great and Taylor tapped out.  Ravishing Raquel kicks Taylor Bella out of the ring and the ref and Reid enter the ring and raise her hands in victory.  Reid straps the belt around Raquel’s waist and then plants a big ol’ kiss on her and they leave.  Raquel is once again the Diva’s Champion.  (15 min)

GM Max McGillicutty comes back out with a mic.  “This show has been off the charts. The success of the HWF and CSWA relies 100% you, the fans.  You fans have made these shows the #1 show every week, twice a week.  We could not do this without you and thank you for your support.”  The fans pop.  “Now, it is time for the main event.  Let’s get this moving.”

The main event begins with Desperados member The Stache coming out first and is booed horribly.  He flips them off; uncaring.  Next, the Hardcore Champion Magnum Kone comes out and is accompanied by Haagen and Daas.  He too is booed and Magnum doesn’t seem to care.  Finally, CJ makes his way out and receives a deafening pop.  Everyone is out of their seats as CJ shakes hands with the fans and makes his way to ringside.  The ref calls all 3 men into the ring and explains the rules.  He says that this match will be Lights Out rules, no DQ with a 60 minute time limit.  Whoever scores the most falls will become the Hardcore Champion.   All 3 men grabbed multiple weapons and started beating the crap out of each other.  At 7 ½ minutes, CJ and Magnum were beating the snot out of each other and the Stache went over and blasted both of them with chairs.  He dragged both men out of the ring and DDT’d both men on the floor.  He rolled back in and the ref counted to 10 counting both men down and out and awarded the fall to the Stache.   Stache goes out and drags Magnum back into the ring.  The Stache struts around the ring like he owns the place.  CJ struggles to his feet and picks up the chair that was left outside the ring.  CJ then blasts the Stache with the chair hitting him in the arm and elbow.  Magnum grabs the arm and wrenches in an armbar and turns it into a pin.  Magnum scores this fall.  Magnum then gets dumped out of the ring and CJ and the Stache battle.   CJ was taking the fight to the Stache and after hitting a low blow on the Stache, he locked in a guillotine choke and the Stache tapped out.  This fall is awarded to CJ. Now, each man has one win over the others.  Whoever takes this next fall will become the champion.   Magnum starts to brawl with CJ but Stache sneaks over and hits CJ with a low blow.  Magnum pulls CJ out of the ring and nails the Popsicle (piledriver) on the floor.  He gets back in the ring and he and the Stache battle this out.  Kone was beating the crap out of the Stache until the Stache eyeraked Kone temporarily blinding him.  He then grabbed a roll of quarters and blasted Kone in the face.  Magnum drops amidst the falling coin.  The Stache crawls over to make the cover and the ref counts 1…2…3.  The Stache has won this one and is now the NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION.   The Stache is joined by Desperados teammates El Chango and Leon Teremoto as well as Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt.  They stand victorious as the crowd boos.  With that, Day one comes to an end.  

Stay tuned as the action is sure to continue.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – #429 – Starcade Fanfest 2 days

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today, we recap the Starcade Fanfest.  For two days, the superstars of the HWF and CSWA got to meet with fans, take pictures, sign autographs and overall just entertain.   Here are some of the highlights:

Day one:  “Lukewarm” Lucas Johnston shows up for signing but can’t afford any pens.  He tells a random fan to provide the pen and he’ll sign whatever.  The fan jokes that he should change his slogan from “Pin Me, Pay me” to “Pen Me, Pay Me”.  What started as a joke seemed to have turned into a “movement” as Lucas went from signing about 100 autographs all day on Day one to almost 1000 on day two.  Fans throughout the venue were carrying signs that read “Pen Me, Pay Me” and with that, Lucas became one of the most sought after performers during the entire Fanfest.

Also to note, on Day One, missing from their booths were the Stache and Magnum “King of Cones” Kone.  It seems that Magnum consumed some bad dairy and was having issues.  The Stache, thinking he was better than everyone else, opted to get his own transportation.  Unfortunately, the cabbie he ended up with took him to another CITY.  Once the error was realized and he was brought back to town, it was too late and everyone had left for the day.   On Day two, both the Stache (this time he rode in the commuter van) and Magnum Kone went to GM Max McGillicutty to complain.  Max asked for proof and even though CJ was suspected, no one could pin it on him.  The Stache and Magnum said they would get even. 

Since the Stache and Magnum were absent from the Fanfest, CJ (or someone) had put “Out of Service” on their tables and directed anyone who wanted autographs or pictures to head over to the HASHTAG table.  CJ apparently did very well and even gave away free pictures to those fans devastated that the Stache and Magnum were not there.

‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild and his wife Ravishing Raquel sat with Prestige Inc. teammates King Damian Sandow and Magnus.  Even though their attitude has shifted a bit, they still had a decent turnout and Raquel signed (on quite a few pictures) “Soon to be Diva’s Champion”.   I wonder if she knows something we don’t.

The Tag Team Champions the Steel Curtain had a good turnout but by day 2, Desperado members El Chango and Leon Teremoto showed up and caused a disturbance.  They had to be removed by security and were told by Max that if they caused any more distractions, they would be kicked off the PPV.  After that they behaved themselves.

As mentioned, the Desperados were causing mischief on Day 2 but that was all at the direction of the Stache.  He was in a pissy mood and wanted everyone to know it.

The Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt, HWF World Champion Brock Lesnar and CSWA World Champion Samoa Joe were all in their own corner of the building and fans waited for hours to get signatures and pictures from the champs.

Intercontinental Champion Sonic Blade sat at a table with his tag team partner the Nigerian Wraith.  A few fans presented the Wraith with photos of himself when he was still called Casey Jones.  At first, he refused to sign those but by the end of day 2, he relented.

The Dust Brothers (Goldust and Stardust) also had a decent turnout and traded quips with their fans in a respectful manner.

The Fiend and the Miz (US Champion) sat at a table and because of his connection to the Misfits, the Fiend got more requests than the Miz did and that seemed to tick him off.

The ladies were all over Drew, the Canadian Love Machine.  The Savior, by day 2, got tired of all the female attention Drew had been getting (it was very distracting), he asked for security to come over and take care of business (the ladies were distracting all the guys who were there getting autographs). 

John Cena, Sting, Kane and the Undertaker were in their own corner and needed serious line control as the fans wanting to see them was out of this world.  There were a few times that Cena and the Undertaker almost had it out.

With the exception of Ravishing Raquel, the women’s wrestlers including the Women’s and Diva’s Champions all sat together.  Lots of cameras were flashing and their turnout rivaled that of Cena, Sting and the Brothers of Destruction.

While Phat Sol was signing autographs, Miz came over and mocked Phat’s shiny head.  Phat didn’t take too well to that and they almost had a fight right then and there.

The PPV is up next.  Stay tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – #428

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Starcade will begin in just one short week.  GM Max McGillicutty starts off the show with an announcement.  He says that the fans have voted on who, between CJ and the Stache, had the better show.  I don’t think it could have been any closer.  Max opens a piece of paper and announces that the Stache won this one at 50.5% to 49.5%.  We think that the match that put him over the top was the Bray Wyatt/John Cena vs the Brothers of Destruction buried alive match did it.  Max unveils a trophy and calls for the Stache to come out and get his award.  Max waits but the Stache doesn’t show.  The camera cuts to the back and we hear some yelling from behind a closed door.  The cameraman approaches a closet that is blocked by a forklift.  Apparently, someone parked this in front of the door and stuck behind it…by the sound of it…the Stache.  “GET ME OUT OF HERE!” echoes from behind the door.

We go to the ring for our first match.  Beautiful People member Velvet Sky is taking on Bella sister Brie Bella.  This one went a lot longer than expected as Brie held her own but eventually fell victim to the Beauty Mark at the 25 minute mark.

In the back, Madame Jade meets with GM Max McGillicutty.  She sweet talks him into letting her have another shot to wrestle at the PPV for the Divas title.  Ravishing Raquel walks in and asks “When did winning a tournament to become the #1 contender mean you have to fight for something you’ve already won?”  Max says that Raquel is a top contender for sure but if you want to continue to be considered at the top of the heap, you need to fight for it.  Raquel says that she’ll do the match but if she wins, Madame Jade needs to be removed from all future title shots.  Madame Jade steps up and says that she’ll agree to this stipulation but ONLY if Raquel can beat her in 15 minutes.  Raquel says “Done” and walks out. 

The Elitist Champion Reid Rothchild makes his way to the ring and begins speaking about not having an opponent for the PPV and he is interrupted by Wade Barrett.  Barrett says he has bad news for Reid and that he is next in line for the Elitist title.  He will take that title and prove he’s deserving.  Reid offers a non-title match right now to see if he’s really ready.  Reid says he’s ready now and tells Barrett to bring it.  Reid took the match to Barrett and was going for the final pin but Barrett recovered enough to throw Reid out of the ring.  Barrett followed him out and rammed Reid’s back into the steel post.  Barrett rolled Reid back into the ring and hammered Reid’s back over and over.  After Reid stopped moving, Barrett hooked the tights for the 1-2-3.  Barrett grabs the title and stands over Reid.  Barrett gets the win and will go on to meet Reid for the Elitist title at the PPV.  (23 min)

In the back, the Shield (Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns) issue a challenge to the A-Team for a shot at the 6 man titles at the PPV.  Alberto Del Rio, Adrian Neville and Antonio Cesaro walk over and say they accept. 

Next up is Madame Jade taking on Ravishing Raquel.  If Jade can get the win, she will take Raquel’s spot at the PPV.  Raquel needs to get the win in 15 minutes but if she doesn’t, the match becomes a 3 way battle for the title.  This one has both women go toe to toe and neither gives an inch.  The match goes to the 15 minute time limit and with this draw, Madame Jade is inserted into the title match against Taylor Bella for the Diva’s title.  (15 min)

Paige makes her way out to the ring and throws out a challenge to Women’s Champion Gail Kim for her title at the PPV.  Gail comes out and accepts.

The Miz makes his way out (with the Fiend) saying that he is giving the people a treat and will defend the US title here and now.  A-Team member Alberto Del Rio comes out and says he is the #1 contender.   Miz says that this is a best of 3 falls match.  During the first fall, the Miz tells the Fiend to get involved and as he climbs on the apron, Del Rio hurls Miz into him and they collide.  Del Rio rolls Miz up and gets the 1-2-3.  Alberto steals the first fall.  (15 min)  The ref then sends the Fiend to the back to avoid any further interference.  Miz is not happy and looks like he’s going to cry.  Alberto says that the Miz can have the belt back ONLY if he can beat him in 15 minutes without any outside interference.  Miz accepts.  Miz goes on the offensive and Alberto was not prepared (based on how crappy he did in the first fall).  Miz fought hard and after hitting a couple of legsweep facebusters, Miz climbs to the top rope and hits a springboard legdrop.  Miz makes the cover and gets the pin at the 12 minute mark.  Miz grabs his title and runs but as he gets to the top of the ramp, Phat Sol comes out and clotheslines him.  Phat grabs the US title and holds it over his head before dropping on Miz and walking away.  (27 min total; 30 min for the segment)

Desperado member El Chango comes out and says he wants to wrestle solo and issues an open challenge to whomever.  Buzz Steel from the Steel Curtain comes out but as he’s walking to the ring, the other Desperado members (the Stache and Leon Teremoto) attack him.  Starbuck Steel and CJ come out for the save.  Magnum Kone then runs out with his two cronies and attacks CJ and the Stache.   The Desperados scurry away through the crowd and CJ and the Steel Curtain send Kone and his Kronies up the ramp.   Max comes out and says that the main event tonight will encompass all of these men in a ring with one team walking out with a win. 

The lights go dim and the eerie blue light shines into the ring.  The lights come up and all of a sudden, the Undertaker is standing there.  He takes a mic and says that John Cena has bitten off more than he can chew and at Starcade, in a Last Man Standing match, he will put Cena away once and for all.  The gong sounds and the lights go out and a few seconds later when they come back on, Undertaker is gone.

In the back, Magnum Kone says that to avoid any further whining and complaining, he went and secured a “contract” to use a copyrighted name.   He says that Jen and Barry are gone and are now replaced with “Haagen” and “Daas”.   Magnum smiles evilly while he consumes some “Premium goodness” (Haagen Daas Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream).

With all of the challenging going on, Max says that the following matches are being added to the Starcade 3-day card.

Diva’s title match:  Taylor Bella (champ) vs Ravishing Raquel vs Madame Jade

Elitist title match:  Reid Rothchild vs Wade Barrett

Women’s title match:  champ Gail Kim vs Paige

The Band vs the Canadian Express (at the request of Drew, the Love Machine)

Cena vs Undertaker – Last Man Standing

The Dudley’s vs the Ascension in a tables match

6 Man tag team title match:  A-Team vs the Shield

It is time for the main event.  First, the Desperados make their way to the ring.  They are then followed by Magnum Kone and Haagen & Daas.  Finally, the World tag team champs the Steel Curtain come out with the HASHTAG himself, CJ.  The Champs and CJ hit the ring and everyone bails.  Finally, everyone is coaxed back in to the ring and we have ourselves a match.  Everyone went after the champs & CJ and beat them down till they couldn’t stand.  The Stache then dragged CJ outside the ring and handcuffed him to the ringside post.   The Steel Curtain then get dumped into the crowd.   Magnum Kone and Haagen & Daas then went to town on the Desperados with Leon taking a major bump off the apron to the floor below.  The end came after The Stache nailed Haagen with the handlebar (submission) and El Chango hit Daas with a tornado DDT.  The ref made the count and counted to 3 as Haagen was tapping out.  The Desperados win this one and stand victorious.  A pissed off CJ finally manages to break free and along with the recovering champs, all grabbed chairs and chased the Desperados from the ring.  The show ends with CJ, Buzz and Starbuck Steel celebrating with the fans.

Just before the show could come to a close, GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that due to the fact that next week there are 3 shows plus a recap for Fanfest, he says that the show normally taking place on Sunday will be cancelled and next week will be dedicated to the FanFest and the 3 day extravaganza – STARCADE!   See you there.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – #427

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s episode takes place, not in the ring or backstage but in the office of CSWA & HWF owners Mr. Bychowski & Mr. Meyers earlier in the day.  The lawyers for Unilever, the owners of the brand “Ben & Jerry” sent in a video requesting a cease and desist of using their copyrighted names.   They state that whomever wants to sign an agreement with them would be allowed to utilize the rights but only if they sign the agreement. 

A few hours later, GM Max McGillicutty meets with the “King of Cones” Magnum Kone and informs him that the individuals names of his “team” (aka cronies) needs to be changed.  Magnum, not one to exactly tow the line (after his attitude change) agrees and now calls them Jen and Barry.  Magnum takes their shirts and draws a big line through their names and then handwrites their new names.  “Satisfied?” Magnum asks.  Max says it is acceptable.  Magnum grabs his things and leaves.

Max makes his way out to start the show.  Max says that the fans can still vote on who’s show they thought was the best.  He says thousands of fans have voted already and more are rolling in.  He says that both CJ and the Stache will have one final pitch on why their show was the best and voting will commence on Tuesday and all results will be tallied and announced in Friday’s edition.

We cut to a vignette from the HASHTAG himself:  CJ.  “Wow ......WOW what an amazing night action packed as promised, max, i think THE HASHTAG deserves his own ppv!!?????!!! But enough of patting myself on my own back... cones, ben...jerry or should i say soft served rooty tooty fresh and fruity...you 3 imitation dairy products got alot of nerve.....you think you can come on the hashtag show and run a muck??!!! No no no no such luck!!! You see the hashtag is not amused by your antics, just like those other 3 clowns the desperatasshole, you think you guys are all tough...coming down 2 on 1, 3 on 1, you know ive had just about enough of you cowards....the hashtag is about to even the score 1 by 1 night by night but be forewarned that CJ is coming for each and everyone of you maroons, when you least expect, when nobody is around.....so you better sleep with 1 eye open, or cuddle up with each other each and everynight...mark my words CJ will get pay backs!!!!” CJ out drops the mic and exits the picture.

It’s time to get this show off the ground and we start with two of our female performers.  Beautiful People member and former Women’s Champion Angelina Love takes on ½ of the Bella Twins Nikki.  Nikki was doing well until Velvet Sky slid out from under the ring and smashed Nikki’s head repeatedly into the floor.  Nikki barely made it back into the ring but she was never the same.  The former Women’s champ took her time with the beatdown and then finally pinned her after hitting a top rope cross body block.  (18 min).  After the match, Velvet came out from under the ring but Brea ran down and saved her sister from any more damage.

The Stache is in the back and cuts his own promo.  “You know, I don’t need to flap my gums like CJ does.  That chump is so full of hot air it’s a wonder he hasn’t floated away.  My card speaks for itself.  I don’t need to lobby for how well I ran the show.  Everyone knows I did a much better job and with the exception of CJ screwing up the card, only a PPV could have been any better.  In the end, I will be the one who not only becomes the Hardcore champ but I will be the one getting my own PPV.  CJ can just suck it.”  The camera goes dark.

It’s time for our next match with has more of our fantastic female athletes bringing the action to the ring.  This match has Sasha Banks taking on the Southern Belle.  Belle took the lead early on but as the match progressed, Sasha took over and after a grueling 22 minute battle, Sasha hits a Bankrupt Neckbreaker Slam and rolls Belle up for the 1-2-3.  After the match, Belle looked like she was going to go all Hulk on Sasha but the two ended up shaking hands in a sign of mutual respect.  (22 min)

‘Luke Warm’ Lucas Johnston comes out and says that these days, he’s being used to put over the bigger names without even giving him a chance to succeed.  So because of that, he’s bringing back an old slogan that underutilized talent, such as himself, started in a movement that became all the rage.  He removes his jacket and it says “Pin Me…Pay Me.”  Lucas tells whomever in the back to just send out his next opponent so he can collect his paycheck and go home.  He doesn’t wait for long until Attitude Adjustment member Adam Rose makes his way out.  Rose says that Johnston (to steal another fed’s catchphrase) will become just another victim.  Johnston holds his own but Rose started to turn up the heat.  Lucas realized that pins and submissions don’t mean crap.  He slid out of the ring and grabbed a chair and without even blinking an eye, bashed Adam with it.  The ref disqualified him and Rose dropped the chair and just walked out. Rose wins this one on a DQ.  It took a minute to be revived but he did leave under his own power.  (14 ½ min)

Max is in the back and says that tonight’s main event will star…tag teams.  In fact, 3 teams will fight to see who will go on to the PPV to take on the champs the Steel Curtain.  The Desperados walk in and dispute this since the Stache already announced they were taking on the champs.  Max says that the Stache overstepped his bounds and did not have the authority to make such a match.  Max tells them that they will be facing both the Band (Dirk Devon and the Axe) and the Canadians (the Savior and Drew the Love Machine).  The Desperados storm off.

Another video is shown with lawyers from Unilever shaking hands with someone (off camera) and say that he is now legally allowed to sign co-branded merchandise.  The camera turns and it’s…CJ.   He sits at a table in front of hundreds of people (some holding signs that show the word Kone in a circle with a line drawn diagonally through it and another that read “CJ is the real Ice Cream Champ!”  CJ stayed there and signed for hours.  He got free ice cream too.  CJ then turned and whispered to the camera “Suck on that, Kone.”

The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor) make their way out to the ring and once again start bashing teams who have paved the way for their success.  They say it’s a travesty that they are not the one fighting for the tag team titles and says that there is no team in the HWF or CSWA that can hold a candle to them.  Music hits and out come the Dudley Boys.  Devon and Bubba make their way to the ring.  Bubba takes a mic.   “Really, you two clowns think that you are the SH*T when it comes to tag teams?  Me and Devon and been doing this sh*t for YEARS before you two were even out of diapers.  We can run with the best of them.  You two joke about all the teams who have come before…the Andersons, the Horsemen, the Road Warriors…all fantastic teams and you belittle with your ignorance.  You two want to take a on a team who’s not retired or in an old folks home (no disrespect intended), we’re here.”  Devon takes the mic and gets into Konnor’s face and yells “TESTIFY”.   The Dudleys stare at the Ascension as Konnor and Viktor back away but then charge the Dudleys and beat them down.  The Dudley’s fight back and Devon takes Viktor down with a powerslam and Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb on Konnor.  The Ascension slide out of the ring and back up cautiously all the while cursing at the Dudleys.

Max was sitting in his office and sees this go down.  “If you’re going to take the big dog’s bone, you better be prepared to fight to keep it.”  He writes the names of the Ascension and Dudleys on a piece of paper.

It is time for our main event.  First, out comes the Band – Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon and the Axe.  Next out are the Desperados – El Chango and Leon Teremoto.  Finally, the Canadians – the Savior and Drew, the Love Machine come out to the largest pop of the night.  I guess the ladies realllly love Drew.  This was set up as multiple fall eliminations. 

The Axe was eliminated by Drew the Canadian Love Machine

The Savior was eliminated by Leon Teremoto

Dirk "The Pick" Devon was eliminated by El Chango after the Stache caused a distraction.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine was eliminated by Leon Teremoto  after the Axe came back down and hit Drew with a chair.  The Desperados hold on to their spot and will go on to meet the Steel Curtain at Starcade.  (30 min).

Just before the show could end, Max comes back out and announces all the matches that will take place at the Starcade 3 day spectacular PPV.

In no particular order, the matches expected to take place (not all are finalized but most are) will include:

US title match – Miz vs Phat Sol

Mens Money in the Bank match

Ryback vs Alexander Rusev in a Russian Chain match

Hardcore title match:  Magnum Kone vs Stache vs CJ

Women’s money in the bank

IC title match:  Sonic Blade vs Bobby Roode

X-Division title match:  Tyler Breeze vs Sting

North American title:  Jay Lethal vs Kevin Owens

Tag team titles: Steel Curtain vs the Desperados (El Chango & Leon Teremoto)

HWF,CSWA World and Undisputed title match:  Bray Wyatt vs Brock Lesnar vs Samoa Joe with the winner  getting all 3 titles

There are 4 matches waiting on final confirmation and a few surprises too.

Stay Tuned, tempers are flaring and it’s getting serious.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – #426

Hello Wrestling fans and welcome to our first newsletter of December.  Starcade is just around the corner and as a reminder, it is sold out but you can still tune in to PPV to catch all the action from the comfort of your own couch. 

The show kicks off with Solomon Crowe making his way out and gets in the ring.  He complains about not being used.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out to the ring and says “this is the way it is” and Crowe punches him.  Max then fires him on the spot and has him escorted out by security.   Max asks if anyone else thinks they’re getting a raw deal and out comes Tajiri and Kenta.  They ask for a match and if they win, they should be granted a title shot at the PPV.  Max agrees and says he gets to pick the opponents but if Kenta and Tajiri lose, they are out of a job. 

Max leaves the ring with Tajiri and Kenta still there.  He then introduces their opponents and out comes the Canadians – The Savior and Drew, the Canadian Love Machine.  The Canadians took control for the first 8 minutes of the match but then the Japanese Connection battled back and the two teams stayed totally even until the end of the match.  The end came after Drew caught Tajiri coming off the ropes and hit a corkscrew pescado in the middle of the ring.  The Savior takes out Kenta.  The ref counted 1…2…3.  The Canadians win this one and Tajiri and Kenta are now both out of a job.  Just as the Savior and Drew were leaving, the Band (the Axe and Dirk Devon) run out and attack them.  Both men are beaten down and left for the medics to help up (those jerks).  (14 min)

In the back, Wade Barrett runs into CJ.  “Hey buddy, I’ve got some BAD NEWS for ya.  You and me…one on one in that ring.  Sorry about your damn luck.”  Barrett walks away.  CJ doesn’t look concerned.

We go back to the ring for our next match which has Charlotte Flair taking on Summer Rae.  Summer has been running her mouth (on the internet) about how she could easily take the Diva’s Title from Taylor Bella if Taylor had the guts to meet her in the ring.  Charlotte comes out to a big pop.  Charlotte goes right on the offensive and kept that momentum up for the entire match.  It didn’t help Summer when Diva’s Champion Taylor Bella came out and sat at commentary.  Summer Rae tried to complain but it did no good.  Charlotte ends up trapping Summer in the Figure 8 and got her to tap out.  Charlotte celebrates briefly before leaving.  Summer ends up limping out after Taylor had left the ring.  (15 min)

In the back, Beautiful People member Velvet Sky is talking about how she is getting her shot at the Diva’s title tonight.   Her teammate Madison Rayne walked over and practically begged Velvet to let her have this title shot.  She would give Velvet her shot at the Women’s title if she did.  Velvet thought about it briefly and accepted.  Madison Rayne is now going on to meet Taylor Bella for the Diva’s title tonight.

We head to the ring for our next match.  ‘Bad News’ Wade Barrett comes out first.  Before he makes his way out, the word “HASHTAG” starts flashing on the Omegatron and out comes CJ.  He gets a good pop in front of this crowd.  Barrett doesn’t appreciate that and tears into CJ.  It doesn’t take long before Hardcore Champion Magnum Kone comes out with “Ben” and “Jerry”.  Ben grabs a chair.  Magnum distracts the ref and Jerry jumps in and grabs CJ.  Barrett walks over and is like “What the hell is going on?” and Ben swings the chair, misses CJ and nails Barrett.  Ben and Jerry flee the ring with the chair.  CJ sneaks up on a woozy Barrett and locks in the guillotine choke.  Barrett, still out of it from the chair shot, taps out.  CJ picks up another win.  Magnum, Ben and Jerry are all on the outside of the ring pissed off.  The Desperados (the Stache, El Chango and Leon Teremoto) make their way out and surround the ring.  CJ starts to panic…just a little…until music hits…”WELLLLLLLLL, it’s the BIG SHOW”.  Big Show runs (as fast as he could – he is over 400 lbs. and slides into the ring just as the Desperados hit the ring.  CJ fights off both El Chango and the Stache and Show nails Leon with a knockout punch.  EVERYONE is stunned.   The Stache pulls an unconscious Leon out of the ring.  Magnum, wearing his hardcore title, starts to climb the steps but Ben and Jerry talk him out of it.  The Desperados, Magnum and Ben&Jerry all leave the ring with Big Show and CJ standing tall.  (6 min for the match; 15 for the segment)

The Miz and the Fiend are talking and Miz says how he needs the Fiend to destroy Phat Sol and break him so that at the PPV, it will be easy pickings.  The Fiend says “It will get done.”  Miz seems pleased.

It is time to head back to the ring for our Diva’s Title match.  First, the challenger Madison Rayne comes out with her Beautiful People teammates (Velvet Sky & former Women’s Champion Angelina Love).  The Champion Taylor Bella comes out with her sisters Nikki & Brea Bella.  This will be a best of 3 falls match 30 minute time limit fight.  The first fall goes to Madison who nearly took off Taylor’s head with a Yakuza kick in 7 minutes.  The second round was 100% controlled by Madison.  Madison dominated this round also and it didn’t help that the Beautiful People convinced the ref that they were trying to interfere on behalf of their sister.  The Bella Twins get sent to the back.  Taylor managed to hold in there and ended up hitting Madison with a dropkick out of the ring.  Madison landed hard and didn’t make it back in.  Taylor gets this fall at the 21 ½ minute mark.  There are only 90 seconds left in this match.  Madison didn’t have anything left in her tank.  Velvet and Angelina end up attacking Taylor just as the end of the match bell rang bringing this one to an end.  The Bella ran back down and beat down on the Beautiful People and chased them from the ring.  Taylor retains her title on a time limit draw.  (30 min)

Enforcer member Ryback is in the back and he is pacing.  When asked what has him so distracted, Ryback replies that Rusev has crossed the line.  Rusev wants to act like a coward so Ryback wants Rusev at Starcade in a Russian Chain match at Starcade.  Ryback says that Rusev has no balls and he’ll most likely run back to Moscow to hide since Ryback is the monster that Rusev’s parents told him about when he was kid.  Ryback then walks away.

We head back to the ring for our next match which is The Fiend vs Phat Sol.  The Fiend totally underestimated Phat.   In 13 minutes, the Fiend got in a total of 5 moves.   Phat ends up scoring the win after locking the Fiend into an abdominal stretch and turned it into a pin.  After this ass-kicking, Miz ran down and attacks Phat Sol.  Phat manages to dropkick Miz out of the ring.  Miz’s US title remains in the ring.  Phat Sol picks it up and holds it high over his head.   Miz is screaming for him to return it.  Finally, Phat throws it to the Miz and Miz and the Fiend make their way to the back.  (13 min)

Bobby Roode makes his way out to the ring and calls out Intercontinental Champion Sonic Blade.  He says that Blade is finding any reason in the book to not defend that title against him.  Sonic Blade accepts the challenge and says that he will meet him at the PPV for the IC title.

It is time for our Main Event.  First, out comes X-Factor member AJ Styles and he is taking on Bobby Lashley.  Lashley must have been hitting the weights before this as he looks absolutely HUGE.  This one went 12 minutes and Bobby was slightly more aggressive than Styles.  After almost knocking AJ out of his wrestling boots when Bobby nailed a football tackle, he made the cover and got the 1-2-3.  Bobby Lashley wins this one and the fans give both men a standing ovation. 

After the match, Max comes out and says the fans need to get their money worth so he’s treating them to a dark match (non-televised).  Before Max can announce who will be in the match, Hardcore champion Magnum Kone comes out and says he’s defending the Hardcore title against a person of his choosing.  Out comes Uhaa Nation.  Nation asks “what about him?” and makes his way to the ring.  Magnum, not realizing how big this guy really is changed his mind and says “Another time” and leaves.   This does not sit well with Max who says that if Magnum Kone won’t defend his title, he’ll for sure as hell be in a match.  Max orders Magnum back to the ring and says he will be teaming with the Stache to take on Uhaa Nation and a partner of his choosing.  Uhaa announces his partner for this match will be…CJ.   CJ and Uhaa Nation just tore into Magnum and the Stache.  You could definitely tell Stache and Magnum didn’t want to be tag team partners which worked out for CJ and Uhaa.  While CJ was fighting the Stache, Magnum nails Uhaa Nation with the Popsicle (piledriver) on the floor taking him out.  CJ sees this and goes to the aid of his partner.  CJ goes after Kone but the Stache followed him out and knocked him down and then bodyslammed him on the steel steps.  Magnum is the legal man and as the Stache rolls back in the ring, he tags himself in much to the dismay of Kone.  The ref counts to 10 and awards the win to the Stache and Magnum Kone.  Magnum Kone has a staredown with the Stache as he stole the glory for himself.  Uhaa Nation recovers and clears Magnum and the Stache from the ring.  CJ makes his way back into the ring and the two stand tall as Magnum and the Stache make their way backstage.  Ben & Jerry run out and drop the Stache.  They stand over him starting at him as Magnum Kone laughs.

With that, this show comes to an end.  Stay tuned as we should have the 3 day Starcade PPV lineup almost finished.