Hello wrestling fans and welcome back to another installment of the HCW Wrestling newsletter. Wrestling storylines have been dominating the headlines that we almost forgot about the road to 1000. That’s right, in less than a month, on day 4 of the Critical Mass PPV, we will hit (published) issue #1000. That is a hell of a milestone and at this point, I don’t think we’re going to be slowing down anytime soon.
Tonight’s
show will see two titles being defended.
Evan Stockwell will be defending the TV title against Jesse California
and in the main event, Hardcore Champion Mr. X will be defending his title in
some sort of specialty match. Also on
the card will be an 8 man battle royal for a Money in the Bank contract match
for a future title match of the winner’s choosing. The Banker will be one of the participants in
that so it will be interesting to see if Evan or Ruth get involved. Also, we will see the rematch between Jack
Lumber vs Matches Malone with the winner getting THE title shot at World
Champion the Wicked Prophet at the PPV.
Jack had it but Prophet cost him the match giving the shot to
Malone. GM Max McGillicutty got involved
and set up this rematch but it will take place in the confines of a steel cage
to keep non-participants out (but really, when has that actually stopped ANYONE
from interfering?) Lastly, there will be
a contract signing between Ladies Champion Luciana Albano and her challenger
Korbi Kong. Max has stated there will be
stipulations put into place to keep these two from injuring the other before
the match begins.
Let’s
get right to the action.
Match #1: Julius Squeezer w/ Owen Zestwell vs Oswald
Zimmerman
The
music of the 5th Column plays and out comes Oswald Zimmerman
accompanied by Baron von Blood. The two
goose step briefly before the fans just let them have it and they resumed their
walk to the ring normally. Oswald gets
in the ring and waits impatiently for his opponent. The music changes and out comes Julius
Squeezer accompanied by Owen Zestwell.
Owen is there to make sure Baron does not get involved.
Oswald
started of the match with a stomach klaw but then Julius began battling
back. He neutralized an ear wringer from
Oswald and then locked in the Gorilla Squeeze but Oswald would not tap
out. Oswald applied the stomach klaw
again. Julius hit a double underhook
powerbomb and Oswald stunned him with an elbow to the base of the skull. Baron then tried to distract Julius but Owen
was right there and made sure nothing happened.
In fact, it was Oswald who got distracted and Julius locked him in the
Steiner recliner in the middle of the ring.
After 10 seconds of being stretched, Oswald tapped out. Julius Squeezer gets the win in 6
minutes. Baron helped Oswald to the
back. Julius and Owen chatted with the
fans briefly before heading back.
Match #2: TV Champion Evan Stockwell w/Ruth Heartless
vs Jesse California
Jessie
California came out first to a decent pop from the crowd. When it was the TV champs turn, he was a
little miffed that he was put so high up on the card that he didn’t even have
time to cut a decent promo. Evan tells
Ruth that he’s going to make short work of this schmuck.
Well,
it wasn’t as short as Evan would have liked.
In fact, Jesse took him to 16 minutes but it was only because he either
wouldn’t tap out or kept kicking out of pin attempts. Ruth shouted words of encouragement but she
did not get involved in the match. Evan
finally got Jesse locked in the Hostile Takeover and Jesse finally succumbed
and tapped out. Evan gets the win at the
16 minute mark and then tells Ruth he is going to go sit at commentary to scout
the battle royal coming up next.
Match #3: Battle Royal to determine who gets a future
title shot.
All
of the participants came to the ring one by one. All 8 men got into the ring at the same time
and as soon as the bell rang, they all went at it.
True
to his nature, Evan did run over when he saw the Banker was on the verge of
getting eliminated. He in fact pulled
the rope down hoping to provide leverage.
The Banker went over the top rope but his feet never hit the ground. He rolled back in and rolled out under the
bottom rope and chased Evan to the back.
Here
is the order of eliminations.
Zack "Commando'
Brown was eliminated
by The Magnificent Juan Raul Fargo with SLEEPERHOLD - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Alejandro Guerrero was eliminated by Dr. Red Fang with REVERSE SUPLEX - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Dennis Marshall was eliminated by Azrael with SLINGSHOT SUPLEX - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
The Magnificent Juan Raul Fargo was eliminated by Azrael with VENGEANCE - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Dr. Red Fang was eliminated by 'The Alaskan Wildman' Jax
Brenner with THE
PICKAXE - Throw Out Of Ring after
7 minutes
'The Alaskan Wildman' Jax Brenner was eliminated by Azrael with VENGEANCE - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
At this point, Azrael thought he won
the match since he was the last man standing however the Banker then made his
way back to the ring since he was never eliminated.
Azrael was eliminated by The Banker with ATM Fee Armbar after 4 minutes
The Banker wins the Battle Royal!!!
The
Banker gets the win and wins the open contract of his choosing. Knowing that Evan nearly cost him this
opportunity, I’m sure the Banker will want to exact some revenge.
Match #4: Rematch:
Jack Lumber vs Matches Malone with the winner getting the world title
shot in a steel cage
The
steel cage is lowered and Matches Malone makes his way out to the ring. He
arrives at ringside and enters the cage through the door. “TIMMMBERRRRR” blares through the
loudspeakers and the flannel wearing lumberjack Jack Lumber comes out to a HUGE
pop from the crowd. He stands on the
stage as pyro goes off around him. He
begins the walk to the ring stopping by the Lumber Lounge. As he continues his journey to the ring, a
hooded person jumps out of the crowd and blindsides Jack. He grabs Jack by the hair and runs down to
the ring and smashes Jack’s face into the cage.
Jack is busted open and the match hasn’t even begun yet. The hooded man removes his hood revealing
himself to be the World Champion the Wicked Prophet. Prophet stands over Jack
laughing and Malone is in the ring and also laughing. Prophet picks Jack up and shoves him into the
cage through the door. He then goes to
sit at commentary. The ref checks on
Jack who says “the show must go on” and groggily makes it to his feet. He nods to the ref who starts the match.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
Matches
Malone rolled OC
Matches
Malone executes a KICK TO STOMACH....
Jack
Lumber executes a THE AXE....
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Matches
Malone kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
Matches
Malone rolled OC.
Matches
Malone executes a THROW THRU ROPES....
Jack
Lumber executes a THE AXE....
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Matches
Malone kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
Matches
Malone rolled OC/TT
Matches
Malone executes a ELBOW DROP....
Jack
shrugs Malone off and hits another Axe.
He then looks up through his crimson mask and then looks to the fans who
pop even louder than before. Jack scales
the cage wall to the very top where he stands high above the ring. Then….
Jack
Lumber executes a B-52 KNEEDROP OFF TOP OF CAGE....
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Matches
Malone was pinned by Jack Lumber!!!
Jack
Lumber is attempting to exit through the cage door!
Jack
Lumber exits the cage!
Jack
Lumber gets the win and regains his title shot.
The fans couldn’t be happier. As
Jack is celebrating, Prophet runs over and smashes Jack with a chair multiple
times before rolling him back in the ring.
Prophet then picks up Jack and drops him with the SMITE! He follows it up with the UNRIGHTEOUS
DOMINION and, after mocking Jack, hits him with the Axe. Prophet stands tall over the unconscious form
of Jack Lumber. Prophet exits the ring
leaving Jack in a pool of his own blood.
Medics rush out and load Jack on a stretcher and take him to the back.
GM
Max McGillicutty comes out to the stage where a table has been set up and says
that the action of the World Champion are not without repercussions and he will
address that later but for now, there is a contract signing that needs to take
place. “KORBI KONG SMASH” plays and out
comes the challenger Korbi along with her bestie and now confidant Violet
Valkyrie. Korbi sits at one end of the
table while Violet, always vigilant, stands behind her. Next, the Ladies Champion Luciana Albano
comes out with her manager Pierre Boulay.
Luciana sits at the other side of the table. Max states that neither Luciana, Pierre, (nor
any member of the Albano family) or Korbi can have any interaction between now
and the PPV without consequence. If
Korbi or Violet as her representative, breaks this rule, she loses the title
shot. If Luciana or anyone associated
with her breaks the rule, she will be stripped of the title. Max asks if they understand. They both agree. Both ladies sign the contract and then
Luciana leaves with Pierre. Korbi and
Violet go interact with the fans for a moment before heading to the back.
Match #5: The Main
Event: Hardcore Champion Mr. X vs Ghee
Buttersnaps
The
challenger, Ghee Buttersnaps, comes out first to a nice pop from the
crowd. He looks to the audience and sees
quite a few “Psych is my favorite show” signs.
He smiles and makes his way to the ring.
The cage is still in place but now it has an adornment…barbwire. This must be the stipulation Mr. X
wanted. Ghee enters the ring and looks a
little worried. The music changes and
out comes the Hardcore Champion Mr. X.
Mr. X gets on the mic and tells the HCW universe (and HCW management)
that the pain and suffering Ghee is about to experience is all on their
heads. He makes his way to the ring and
enters. He holds his title high and then
hands it to the ref who signals for the match to begin.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Mr. X executes
a HAWAIIAN DIVE....
Ghee
Buttersnaps neutralizes HAWAIIAN DIVE.
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Mr. X
executes a TURNAROUND SIDEKICK....
Ghee
Buttersnaps attempts to defend against TURNAROUND SIDEKICK but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Mr. X
executes a CHOP TO CHEST....
Ghee
Buttersnaps executes a RUB OPPONENT'S FACE IN BARBED WIRE....
Mr. X is on
defense for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Ghee
Buttersnaps executes a FRONT CHANCERY....
Mr. X
absorbs the punishment.
Mr. X is on
defense for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
Ghee
Buttersnaps executes a POWER ARM BAR....
Mr. X
neutralizes POWER ARM BAR.
Mr. X is no
longer on defense.
===== In
the 6th minute of the match: =====
Mr. X
executes a BARE FOOT KICK....
Ghee
Buttersnaps attempts to defend against BARE FOOT KICK but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Mr. X
executes a TURNAROUND SIDEKICK....
Ghee
Buttersnaps executes a CORNER SMASH....
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
Mr. X
executes a DROP TOEHOLD ONTO BARBED WIRE BOARD....
Ghee
Buttersnaps executes a FRONT CHANCERY....
Ghee
Buttersnaps is on defense for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
Mr. X
executes a TURNAROUND SIDEKICK....
Ghee
Buttersnaps absorbs the punishment.
Ghee
Buttersnaps is on defense for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
Mr. X
executes a BARE FOOT KICK....
Ghee Buttersnaps
absorbs the punishment.
Ghee
Buttersnaps is no longer on defense.
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
Mr. X
executes a SUGAR CANE SLEEPER....
Ghee
Buttersnaps absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
Ghee
Buttersnaps executes a POWER ARM BAR....
Mr. X
executes a MARTIAL ARTS and then POWERBOMB THROUGH EXPLODING TABLE
Mr. X
is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Ghee
Buttersnaps kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
Mr. X executes
a WHIP OPPONENT INTO BARBED WIRE BOARD IN CORNER and MARTIAL ARTS....
Ghee
Buttersnaps absorbs the punishment.
Mr. X
is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Ghee
Buttersnaps was pinned by Mr. X!!!
Mr. X
wins with a WHIP OPPONENT INTO BARBED WIRE BOARD IN CORNER and MARTIAL ARTS....over
Ghee Buttersnaps!!!
Mr.
X wins the match in domination fashion.
He pulls another exploding board out and threatens to put Ghee through
this one too but then ‘The Alaskan Wildman’ Jax Brenner comes out and jumps in
the ring and gets right in front of Mr. X thwarting his plans.
The
show comes to an end with the two having a staredown. It looks like Jax wants what Mr. X has. This one is sure to heat up so stay tuned.
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