Sunday, August 12, 2018

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2018 #702 – Tacoma Thunder


Hello fans and welcome back to another installment of HCW’s Tacoma Thunder.  We have a hell of a show lined up today.  On the card, Drew the Canadian Love Machine takes on his tag team partner and US Champion Jacques Beannot.  If Drew gets the win, he gets a shot at the title at the PPV.  Also, the Mexicali Flyers are in action.  Nix Anderson gets his shot at gold when he challenges the Unknown Assassin for the TV title.  Can Nix derail the Assassin’s momentum and bring his winning streak to an end?  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Today’s show begins backstage with Phoenix GM Master Bull walking into Emmett Millbarge’s office.  Billionaire Cushman Armitage is there with him.  “Finally” Cushman exclaims “we can get started.  Bull-a-roni…you’ll be in ‘Big Money’s’ corner.  Let’s see…who do we have lined up?  Him, no.  Find someone else.  Let’s see….nah, it would be a squash.  Here we go…ha ha.  Red Hot.  Who in the hell gave him that nickname?  Yeah, that should be good.  Now, go and get our boy Ned ready.”  Bull gets up and leaves and the door slams behind him.  Bull shakes his head “What did I do?”  He picks up his phone and makes a call and walks off.

Pyro goes off and out show kicks off.  First, Superquake Ferguson comes out and this guy is just enormous.  At 7 plus foot in height, he is a true sight to behold.  He is booed but the crowd changes their tune when the music changes and out comes the Axe.  Axe, not a slouch in his own right, comes out and the fans pop for him.  He gets into the ring and although he’s not standing eye to eye with the giant, he’s not that far off.  The bell rings and the two begin slugging it out.  They take the action out of the ring where Axe introduced Superquake to the steel steps.  They would make it back in only to fight on the outside again but this time it was Superquake ramming Axe into the steel post.  Ferguson rolled Axe back in.  At the 9 minute match, Axe began to “hulk up” and then went all bat-shit crazy on Ferguson totally dominating the giant.  Axe got frustrated each time Ferguson powered out of a pin and that just made him turn up the heat.  Axe stunned the giant with a forearm smash and then rushed the ropes only to heat a big foot to the face by Superquake.  Ferguson used his foot to push Axe to the ropes.  He then went to stand on Axe’s throat but Axe caught the foot and ended up pushing him off.  Ferguson rushed at him and Axe grabbed him mid-air and hit a huge backbreaker.  Axe made the cover and got the 3 count.  The fans pop huge as the ref raises Axe’s arm and he leaves.  Ferguson eventually makes his way to the back.  (19 min)

Master Bull is backstage with ‘Big Money’ Ned Rhyerson III.  Rhyerson says that he’s going to continue to run all over the roster destroying everyone in his path until the coward Gumbo finally faces him in the ring.  Bull tells him that he watched Gumbo as he rose to where he is now.  Ned tells Bull the past is the past and it doesn’t matter how you get to the top; it’s can you stay there without falling to someone (him) better.  Rhyerson tells Bull “Let’s get this joke of a match over with.”

We head back to the ring and the twins Betsy and Felicia Cummings make their way out as the fans boo.  Next, smoke fills the stage and then like a shot, Violet Valkyrie shoots through the smoke ziplining her way out to the ring.  The fans pop for her.  Violet sends a warning glance to Felicia sitting at commentary basically telling her to stay out of her match.  The bell rings and Violet opens a can of whoop-ass on Betsy for a whopping 7 minutes.  Just then, Vanilla Zombie comes out and distracts Violet.  Betsy trades places with Felicia who rushes in and hits Violet with the sitout facebuster.  She makes the cover hooking the leg and gets the 3 count.  The illegal twin rolls out of the ring and Betsy makes it back in to get her arm raised as the victor.  Vanilla Zombie hits the ring attacking Violet and drops her with the Soul Crusher.  Vanilla stands over Violet as the fans boo her.  She eventually leaves and Violet is helped to the back.  (8 min)

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is backstage and says that he’s giving Jacques his space since he knows that things will get dicey once the bell rings.  He says he’s going to keep it on the up and up and says that he hopes Jacques will do the same.

Our next match is ready to go.  Music hits and out comes ‘Red Hot’ Lucas Johnston.  The fans pop huge for him as he makes his way out to the ring.  His music is cut short when ‘Big Money’ Ned Rhyerson III comes out accompanied by the turncoat Master Bull.  You can tell by looking at him that Bull doesn’t want to be here.  Bull is getting just as much heat as Rhyerson is.  The fans feel Bull turned his back on them even though he’s the GM of Phoenix Heat, they view HCW as a family that Bull just took a dump on.  The match begins with Master Bull providing intestinal fortitude to Ned and it paid off in spades.  Ned took the match to Lucas and owned him.  7 minutes in, Bull thought Ned could use some help so he slipped him a foreign object that Ned used on Lucas.  After clocking him with it and disposing of it before the ref could see it, enough time passed for Lucas to be able to kick out of the pin at 2.  A few minutes later and Bull used his knowledge to point out Lucas’ weaknesses and Ned capitalized on it.  By the time the 13th minute came around, Lucas was practically out on his feet.  Ned then hit the ropes catching Lucas with a flying body press. Ned made the cover and got the 3 count.  ‘Big Money’ gets the win and his streak continues.  Ned then called for the mic and called out Rad saying that the champ was going to choke on his gumbo and that would be the end of the so-called ‘king’.  Just then, we hear a commotion from the crowd and it’s the World Champion King Rad Gumbo.  The fans despise Rhyerson so much that they’re willing to give Gumbo a pass.  Gumbo hits the ring but Rhyerson and Bull bail.  Rhyerson smiles and points to his head signaling he outsmarted the champ.  Gumbo looks around and then goes after Rhyerson.  Rhyerson panics and he and Bull take off with a hot World Champion in pursuit.  (13 min for the match; 5 for the aftermath)

The US Champion Jacques Beannot is backstage and he says that he gets to take on his tag team partner Drew in a match tonight to see if a title shot is warranted at the PPV.  He is interrupted by ‘the Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher who warns Jacques that things will not go as he had planned and he really needs to reconsider hiring himself at Jacques’ manager.  Jacques tells Preacher to get out of his face or he’ll be tasting pavement.  Preacher walks off but says “You’ll see…I’m right.”  He turns around and lobs something to Jacques.  Jacques catches it and it’s…a bottle of 5 hour energy”.  Jacques pops the cap and downs the contents. 

Our next match is ready to go.  First, the Mexicali Flyers (El Dragon Insano and Tornado en Fuego) make their way out to a huge pop from the crowd.   Once they were done getting the crowd pumped, music hit and out comes Ghee Buttersnaps and Ovaltine Jackson.  Ghee and Ovaltine’s pop wasn’t as intense as the Flyers’ but impressive nonetheless.  The match began and for 9 minutes, the Flyers controlled the pace of the match but then Ghee and Ovaltine double teamed El Dragon for 2 minutes.  Tornado en Fuego hits the ring and he and El Dragon double team Ovaltine for two minutes.  Ovaltine tosses El Dragon out of the ring and he tried to return with a chair but Ovaltine nullified it before tagging Ghee in.  17 minutes in, El Dragon hits Ghee with a neckbreaker and tries for a pin but Ghee kicks out.  Tornado is tagged in and hits a slingshot suplex.  He makes the cover and after El Dragon rushed the ring taking out Ovaltine, the count is made 1…2…3.  Tornado en Fuego gets pin and the Mexicali Flyers are victorious.  After a bit of a faceoff, the two teams end up shaking hands and then left within moments of each other.  (18 min)

We head backstage again and this time, Nix Anderson is with his manager ‘the Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher.  Preacher promises that his stable will be growing “before you know it but first, it’s all about the gold, Tell ‘em big man.”  Nix turns to the camera. “Unknown Assassin…more like Dumb Ass-ass-in.  You’ve been running rough shot over the roster but for whatever reason, your manager was afraid of putting you in the ring with me. Guess what…Its happening.  Tonight Preacher, more gold comes to the Preacher’s Posse and with Hensen holding the Hardcore title and me holding the TV title, well, it’s gonna be a fun ride.  Sit down, shut up and watch the master in action.”  Preacher and Anderson walk off.

Our next match is ready to go.  First, Drew the Canadian Love Machine comes out and the fans pop huge for him.  He makes his way down to the ring and shakes hands with all the fans.  He makes his way around the ring and finally gets into the ring climbing each of the corner turnbuckles getting the crowd psyched up.  After he was done on the fourth turnbuckle, the music changed and out comes the US Champion Jacques Beannot.  The fans pop for him but it wasn’t as loud as it was for Drew.  Jacques looked around and made his way to ringside high fiving the fans.  He slid under the ring and then copied Drew by climbing each of the turnbuckles and holding his title high.  The fans appreciate him.  The two partners shake hands and this one is off to the races.  For the first three minutes it seemed that Jacques had the fans attention but as the match wore on, the fans started to cheer Drew more and more.  At the 9 minute mark, Drew hit the corkscrew pescado and went for a pin but Jacques managed to kick out at the very last moment.  A couple of minutes later, Jacques locked in the spreadsheet but Drew made it to the ropes.  Jacques locked in the Spreadsheet a second time and again Drew made it to the ropes.  Jacques started to get a bit frustrated and he turned around and Drew hit an arm drag take down and turned it into a pin.  He hooked the leg and got the surprising 1-2-3.  Drew gets the win and with that, he is getting the shot at Jacques for the US title at the PPV.  Drew went over to shake Jacques’ hand and at first, he refused to shake but eventually he calmed down and shook Drew’s hand.  The two partners left at the same time.  (13 min)

We go back to the interview area with the TV champion the Unknown Assassin and his manager the ‘Honorable’ J C Dykes.  Dykes takes the mic and blasts Nix for thinking he was even in the same league as the Assassin.  Dykes says that the Assassin hasn’t been in HCW that long but has made an impact greater than those who have been around since the old days.  Dykes calls Nix a flash in the pan.  The Unknown Assassin looks at the camera and says “I will break you”. 

We are getting ready to head back to the ring and a frustrated US Champion is walking back to his dressing room and ‘the Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher walks by and says “I told you so.  Here, you need this more than I do” and tosses Jacques a 5 hour energy.  Jacques downs it and walks off shaking his head.

It’s time for our main event.  First, ‘the Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher comes out first and introduces “the next TV champion” Nix Anderson.  Anderson comes out to booing from the crowd.   He doesn’t seem to care and makes his way to the ring with Preacher in tow.  Next, J C Dykes comes out and introduces the TV Champion the Unknown Assassin.  He is booed even worse than Anderson was.  UA gets into the ring and walks around the ring holding his title high.  Anderson remained in the corner.  After he got done showboating, he walked over to where Nix was standing and held the title in his face and said that he was going to sweep Nix away like yesterday’s garbage.  Anderson just stood there and smiled.  Finally the ref called for the bell and this one is underway.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====


The Unknown Assassin rolled DC

Nix Anderson rolled OC.

"The Singapore Sensation" Matt Preacher executes a Punch referee....

The Unknown Assassin attempts to defend against Punch referee but is unsuccessful.

"The Singapore Sensation" Matt Preacher gets away with interfering in the match and Nix Anderson is not disqualified.


===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC/TT

Nix Anderson rolled DC

The Unknown Assassin executes a FIREMAN'S CARRY ROLL....

Nix Anderson attempts to defend against FIREMAN'S CARRY ROLL but is unsuccessful.

The Unknown Assassin is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Nix Anderson kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC.

Nix Anderson rolled OC.

The Unknown Assassin executes a NERVE PINCH....

Nix Anderson executes a THE NIX STRUT....


===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled DC

Nix Anderson rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

The Unknown Assassin rolled DC

Nix Anderson rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC.

Nix Anderson rolled OC.

The Unknown Assassin executes a KARATE CHOPS....

Nix Anderson executes a THE NIXINATOR....


===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled DC

Nix Anderson rolled OC.

"The Singapore Sensation" Matt Preacher executes a Verbally antagonize and agitate....

The Unknown Assassin attempts to defend against Verbally antagonize and agitate but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC.

Nix Anderson rolled DC

Honorable J C Dykes executes a Hits opponent with a loaded canteen....

Nix Anderson absorbs the punishment.

The Unknown Assassin is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Nix Anderson kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC.

Nix Anderson rolled OC/TT

The Unknown Assassin executes a KARATE CHOPS....

Nix Anderson executes a HIT WITH EUKELELE....

Nix Anderson is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

The Unknown Assassin kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC/TT

Nix Anderson rolled OC.

The Unknown Assassin executes a PILEDRIVER....

"The Singapore Sensation" Matt Preacher executes a Slap in face....


===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled DC

Nix Anderson rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

The Unknown Assassin rolled DC

Nix Anderson rolled OC.

Nix Anderson executes a SWINGING NECKBREAKER....

The Unknown Assassin absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC.

Nix Anderson rolled OC.

The Unknown Assassin executes a PILEDRIVER....

Nix Anderson executes a RINGROPE FACE BURN....


===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC.

Nix Anderson rolled OC.

The Unknown Assassin executes a NERVE PINCH....

"The Singapore Sensation" Matt Preacher executes a Blind with powder....

Nix Anderson is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

The Unknown Assassin kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled DC

Nix Anderson rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

The Unknown Assassin rolled DC

Nix Anderson rolled OC.

Nix Anderson executes a THE NIXINATOR....

The Unknown Assassin attempts to defend against THE NIXINATOR but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC.

Nix Anderson rolled DC

Honorable J C Dykes executes a Blows a whistle to distract opponent....

Nix Anderson reverses Blows a whistle to distract opponent!

Nix Anderson executes a HIT WITH EUKELELE....

The Unknown Assassin absorbs the punishment.

Nix Anderson is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

The Unknown Assassin was pinned by Nix Anderson!!!

Nix Anderson wins with a HIT WITH EUKELELE over The Unknown Assassin!!!


Nix Anderson is declared the winner and becomes the NEW TV CHAMPION!  He climbs one of the turnbuckles holding the title high over his head and yells “I told you so” at the fans as the show comes to an end.

Stay tuned as I’m sure there will be fallout from this (if we know anything about Dykes and his hissy fits).

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