Wednesday, July 4, 2018

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2018 #691 – Phoenix Heat (7/4) – MELTDOWN PPV


Hello fans and welcome to the latest installment of the HCW Newsletter.  Today, we are proud to bring to you live from Phoenix, AZ – our ppv “Meltdown”.  The show here in Phoenix is sold out in front of a capacity crowd.  Pyro goes off kicking this one off and it starts with GM’s Max McGillicutty and Master Bull coming out to a pop from the crowd. They thank the fans for attending and promise that this show will be one for the record books.  Master Bull says that a member of the roster wants to address the fans before the show begins so they are going to step back and let that happen.  They leave the stage to a pop.  Next, music plays and out comes Starbuck Steel and his brother the World Champion Buzz Steel.  The fans pop huge for them as they make their way down to the ring. Starbuck takes the mic first and says that he’s only here for support and tonight belongs to Buzz.  He hands the mic over.

“The World Champion is in the hooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse.  You know, a PPV is just another show but with some pizazz.  That pizazz comes to you in the form of a ‘True Wrestling Story’…similar to the Hollywood version but only better.  Tonight, the show centers around the so-called interim chump Rad Gumbo.  Let me take you through his story so that you can better understand what a schmuck he really is.”

Buzz takes us back to where Rad came from – the swamp bayou of Pigwhistle, LA in Bushwack Parrish SW of the Arkansas border.  His parents, Jean-Luc and Rebecca, opened the first Jewish deli and then brought into the world their only son…Murray LaFeet.




As a young boy, Murray played in a swamp and joyfully played the game of “Tipping Gators”.

Fast forward to when Murray becomes a man at the “Bah Mitzvah in the Bayou”.

Upon entering the work force, his 1st job was a possum herder.  He didn’t do very well.

He moved on to his 2nd job as crawfish wrangler.  He kept eating all the profits.

His third job was on a shrimp boat.  He joined with a guy named Forrest and one named Dan and they both booted him off the boat after he wasn’t any help in catching anything.  A fun note is that after he was dropped off, a hurricane hit and the two fisherman scored big.  Coincidence?

Murray then thought that he’d be better off as a wrestler so he began to wrestle Gators.  Then, back in 2016, he was discovered by current GM Max McGillicutty.  What he hadn’t realized though was that the gator was not exactly what he thought.

(He had a 50/50 record).  The crowd laughs.

Murray is then signed to a lucrative contract with HCW (then HWF and CSWA) but because he was not sure what he was doing, he crossed out the dollar amounts and put in “32 cents plus all the red beans I can eat”.   Max and Murray collectively decided that “Murray LaFeet” was not going to put any asses in seats so “Rad Gumbo” was created.   After a solid start, he began a very memorable program with superstar ‘the King of Cones’ Magnum Kone that came to a conclusion with ‘Defiance in Appliance(s)’ that took place at the Fry’s Electronics Store. 

 Gumbo then went and created his kingdom with a ‘Queen’ at his side.   His kingdom is a trailer park that is guarded by a handful of blood hounds.  “King and Queen of the trailer park” Buzz says.  “That is what you’ll get to see tonight.  You know, there is more we can talk about but really, it’s just tiring of talking about this goofball.  Everything gets settled in the ring tonight so once and for all, we’ll see who the best really is.”  The fans laugh and Buzz and Starbuck head to the back.

Pyro goes off again and we kick off our show with tag team action.  First, Ruth Heartless and the Banker accompany the Regulators (Mammoth and Mule) down to the ring.  They are all booed.  The Regulators threaten to hit a couple of fans but show restraint.  Next, the Ambassador comes out and brings out Elitism (Reid and Roderick Rothchild).  The Elitist and the Rowdy one don’t get much better of a reception from the fans.   Once everyone was in the ring, the Regulators handed over their six man titles to Ruth and the Banker and the two not involved in tonight’s match left the ring.  Right off the bat, Reid hits Mammoth with the Rothchild stunner and got a 2 count.  Mule is tagged in and he drops Reid with a DDT but only gets a one count.  Elitism then double team Mule for a couple of rounds beating him senseless.   Mammoth joins Mule and they double team Reid.  10 minutes in, Ruth tried to eye gouge Reid but he stopped it and turned and hit Mule with the Rothchild stunner.  Mammoth is tagged in and Reid is on the defensive.  Mammoth goes for an inverted superplex but Reid reverses it and hits the Spinnarooni (and a foreign object shot).  Reid makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  Elitism get the win.  Reid and Roderick bail and they along with the Ambassador make their way to the back laughing.  Eventually, Regulation followed suit.  (11 min)

Backstage, El Gato Negro is first to cut a promo.  She says that she has unfinished business and doesn’t plan on going anywhere.  Starr will be the first to go and can kiss her career goodbye.  El Gato says she’ll even hold the door open so that it doesn’t hit Starr on her way out.  She laughs.

Starr Vixen is also backstage and she can only shake her head at the ignorance that El Gato displays.  She says that no one wants to have a black cat around and it will be El Gato being shown the door but Starr says that she won’t hold the door for her; in fact, she will slam it in El Gato’s face and that will be that.  DIG IT?

Our next match will see one of these ladies have to leave HCW.  There is a lot on the line here as they only have 30 minutes to make it happen or else both of them are out.   El Gato Negro comes out first and she is booed as she makes her way down to the ring.  Next, she is followed by Starr Vixen who hightails it to the ring and El Gato bails as she wants the match to happen on her terms, not on Starr’s.  The bell rings and the ref begins a count out.  El Gato screams that she’s not ready but ends up sliding under the rope to stop the count.  Starr goes on the offensive and she totally owns the match.  El Gato tried a couple of times to run away only to be brought back to the ring the hard way.   At the 13 minute mark, Starr went for a hair pull and slam but El Gato reached up and swiped Starr with the 9 Lives.  She rolled her up and with her feet on the ropes, secured the 1-2-3.  El Gato Negro gets the win and Starr can’t believe it.  El Gato runs off to the back laughing.  The fans begin a “Thank you Starr” chant as she makes her way to the back.  (13 min)

We head backstage once again for a promo from Texas Wildfire, Sonic Blade and ‘Top Gun’ Justin Winger.  TW says that they’ve had fun teaming and look forward to getting an eventual shot at the 6 man titles.  Winger chimes in and seconds that.  He adds that the 5th Column are underhanded and devious but now that they face the collective force of Texas Wildfire, Sonic Blade and Top Gun, they won’t stand a chance.  Sonic adds in that they are ready for their match tonight and after securing the win, they will come after the 6 man titles.

The next match begins with the 5th Column (Baron von Blood, Karl Braun and Oswald Zimmerman) making their way out to booing from the crowd.   They flip the fans off as they proceed to the ring.  The music then changes and ‘Top Gun’ Justin Winger, Sonic Blade and Texas Wildfire come out to a huge pop from the crowd.   They are followed out by GM Max McGillicutty who states that he wants to see resolution with these teams so he’s allowing the time limit to be extended to 45 minutes.  Both teams went at it and were pretty even for 8 minutes when Top Gun hit the Flyin’ n Stylin’ and got a close 2 count.  The Column would battle back keeping within striking distance.  A few minutes later, Winger would try for a second pin after hitting a hip toss but the Column made the easy save.  Sonic gets tagged in and works his magic but after getting choked on the ropes, he made the tag to Wildfire.   Baron von Blood also tried to choke him on the ropes but he reversed it connecting with rapid fire punches.  He went for a pin only for Baron to kick out.   Winger gets tagged in and after a few minutes, he brings in the full might of his team against the Column.  Karl Braun and Oswald Zimmerman are both sent flying from the ring crashing through the ringside commentary tables injuring them.  That left Baron all alone.  Sonic is tagged in and hits a tilt-a-whirl arm drag and then rolls him up.  With no one to make the save, Sonic gets the 1-2-3.  Winger, Wildfire and Blade all get the win.  Baron rolls out of the ring to avoid further injury.  The fans pop huge as the trio remain in the ring soaking in the pop from the crowd.   The 5th Column gathered what was left of their dignity and left.  Sonic, TW and Winger all left shortly thereafter.  (26 min)

We head to the back for a promo from Davis Hoffmeister and Magnum Kone.  Magnum begins “Let me tell ya something brother” (Davis rolls his eyes) “I’m kidding.  However there will be nothing but seriousness taking place in that ring tonight.”  Davis chimes in “You got that right Magnum.  Tonight, we show Preacher and his goons who the top team making waves in HCW really is.  The best Tacoma and Phoenix have to offer all rolled up into one.”  Magnum finishes with “Bedder beleed dat sucka.”  Davis looks at him and just shakes his head.

Also backstage cutting their own promo are ‘The Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher, Nix Anderson and Hardcore Champion Hardcore Hensen.  Preacher speaks for his team “Two goofs spouting old clichés…is that what wrestling has come to?  The future of the sport is here and it’s in the form of these two gentleman.  Nix Anderson, future champion; Hardcore Hensen, the only man capable of ruling the hardcore roster.  Davis and Magnum, you two morons will be shown just how ignorant you really are.  Davis, go jump in your car with the flashing lights and Kone, go back to getting your ass kicked in the electronics store.  The real men are here.”

The action heads back to the ring.  First, Davis ‘the Hoff’ Hoffmeister and ‘the King of Cones’ Magnum Kone come out to a huge pop from the crowd.  They make it to the ring and get the crowd psyched up for the match.  Next, the music changes and Matt Preacher leads Nix Anderson and Hardcore Hensen down to the ring.  They ignore the fans for the most part.  Nix points at Davis and Hensen snarls at Magnum before making a ‘breaking’ motion with his hands.  Before the match begins, GM Master Bull comes out and tells us that the time limit on this one will be extended to 45 minutes to avoid a draw finish.  The match begins but only two minutes in, Davis is injured leaving Magnum to fend for himself and totally going toe to toe with his opponents.  Davis gets tagged in at the 13th minute in the match and immediately leaves after hitting one move.  He explains what’s going on to Magnum who nods. After one more minutes, Davis is tagged back in against Nix.  Nix goes for the Acoustic Equalizer but Davis reverses it and tries to choke Nix in the corner but Nix nullifies it and tags Hensen in.  Anderson and Hensen double team Davis trying to get in some cheap shots.  Preacher then goes to throw powder into Davis’ eyes but he moves and it hits Hensen.  Davis drops Hensen with a roundhouse kick and goes for a pin but Hensen powers out.  About 5 minutes later, Preacher hands a foreign object to Hardcore who uses it to bludgeon Magnum with it busting him open.  Hensen goes for the pin but Magnum powers out.  Magnum battles back hitting two hard moves on Hensen and he tags out to Anderson.   Magnum hits Nix with the Rocky Road and tags Davis back in.   Davis calls for and hits a piledriver.  Magnum rushes the ring colliding with Hensen taking him out.  Davis goes for the pin and gets the 3 count.  Magnum and Davis get the win and skyrocket up in the rankings.  Preacher and his team leave while Davis and Magnum celebrate in the ring.  They stick around for 5 minutes celebrating with the fans before eventually leaving.  (27 min)

The ring is cleaned up and the staff come out to start setting up the steel cage.  The lull was just long enough for our resident windbag, er I mean Interim Champion to come out. 

We hear blaring over the loudspeakers “Gumbo 7;30 means its suppa time bitch” and out comes the interim World Champion King Rad Gumbo accompanied by Queen Alexandria.  "Aw right, aw right. Simmer down now ya hear” Gumbo exclaims as he and his Queen make their way to the stage.  After the crowd begins to settle down, he begins again. “Now over the last few weeks y'all have had a good time haven't ya? Y'all have had a good laugh at good ol' Rad's expense huh? I can't go out in peace, I can't eat in peace. Hell I can't even take a leak in peace 'dese days. (loud cheers) I see all ya'll and I hear ya with yer chants. Everyone in da arenas and everyone watchin' at home, ya think dat the King is a joke now don't ya? Well I'm out here right now to tell all of you ungrateful, low life peasants dat King Rad ain't no joke! Does dis championship look like a joke to you? A championship dat I won fair and square! (loud boos and groans from audience) Dat's right, fair and square. Steel brothers! Ya think ya pulled a fast one on me now, eh? Well, you can have your funny video.  And you know wat, I don't need no fancy lawyer drawin' up papers  an' restraining orders n' whatnot like you two has beens. An' I didn't need no manager before and guess what? I don't need no woman out here messin' up my life either! (gasps from crowd) Dat's right. Dis King don't need no Queen no mo'. It look like once again Rad can only rely on himself. Like always. I will win the Undisputed World Title for myself and by myself! So Buzz I'm comin' for ya big boy! You done pissed dis Cajun right off now ya hear?!?!  An' dat restraining order is gonna be null an' void real soon! N'est pas? You're welcome an' your audience wit' da King is over.” (drops mic, leaves by himself)  Queen Alexandria watches on in astonishment and runs after him.

The cage is assembled and we are ready for our next match.  First, Angry Jack Lawson comes out and the fans boo him as he makes his way down to the cage.  He goes in through the door and begins to pace like a caged animal.  The music changes and out comes Biceps Bannerman to a HUGE pop from the crowd.  Biceps makes his way down and stares at Lawson through the cage. Biceps then begins to climb the cage and enters via over the top.  He and Jack meet in the center of the ring and it doesn’t take long for the fisticuffs to start flying.  Jack shoves Biceps with enough force to drop him on his butt but Biceps is up almost immediately and tries to hit a spinebuster but Jack nullifies it.  Jack then went on to dominate the match.  He introduced Biceps to the steel post a few times trying to soften him up.   Biceps managed to catch Jack in the Biceps Crunch (bearhug) a couple of times but Jack wouldn’t tap.  Jack stood on Bannerman’s throat trying to choke him out.  Biceps locked in the Crunch again but Jack made it to the ropes.  Jack then rushed the ropes but Biceps caught him with a huge powerslam right in the middle of the ring.  He goes for the cover and gets the 3 count.  Now he has to try and get out of the cage.   Biceps made it to the cage door but Jack grabbed his foot.  He picked Jack up and then slammed his face into the cage door.  Biceps exited the ring and as soon as his foot touched the floor, the bell rang bringing this one to a close.  Biceps Bannerman gets the win and puts the final nail in the closure of the feud between these two.  Biceps leaves to a pop from the crowd.  Jack left on his own.  (25 min)

Backstage, Ravishing Raquel keeps her promo short and sweet.  “Jade, the little altercation at our contract signing was only a small taste of what to expect tonight.  I told you not to underestimate me and if you do, the belt changes hands.”

Ladies Champion Madame Jade is also ready for her promo.  “Raquel, a cheap shot from a coward.  You are jealous of my success.  You lost the title and now you’re trying to make excuses for not being at the top.  I am and you can’t handle it.  You’re right about one thing; I didn’t see that cheap shot coming but I know you and I’ll be ready for you.  Let’s get this party started.”

Our next match begins and the Ladies title will be on the line.  First, the challenger Ravishing Raquel comes out and the fans are truly mixed.  Raquel looks at the fans and shakes her head.  She then turns and motions to the back and out comes the Ambassador.  He has a mic in hand and hands it to her.  “Cheer or boo.  Like it or not, I am a member of Elitism and it’s time I acknowledge that fact.  My manager now accompanies me to the ring and will be in my corner.”  The fans immediately go sour on her and boo her as she and the Ambassador make it down to the ring.  Next, the music changes and out comes the Ladies Champion Madame Jade.  The fans pop huge for her.  She high fives some of the fans and then slides into the ring.  She shakes her head thinking that Raquel once again outsmarted her but she wasn’t going to let this go easily.  The bell rings and the two begin.  Two minutes in, Raquel locks in the Ravishing Chickenwing but Jade makes it to the ropes.  She releases the hold only to lock it in again but Jade gets to the ropes again.  At the 13 minute mark, Jade goes for the Jade Breaker but it is reversed and the Ambassador trips Jade at the ropes.  Raquel goes for the pin but Jade kicks out.  Jade begins to drag Raquel’s face across the ring ropes on all 4 sides.  The final time though, Raquel hit her with the Simply Ravishing.  She rolls Jade up and then puts both feet on the ropes for leverage.  The ref counts 1…2…3!  Ravishing Raquel wins the match and becomes the NEW Ladies Champion.  Raquel kicks Jade out of the ring.  The Ambassador joins her and the two hold the belt high much to the dislike from the fans.  Raquel sneers at them and then she and her manager leave.  Madame Jade is helped to the back.  (17 min)

As we are getting ready for our final match, we are shown a recap of the feud between Buzz Steel and King Rad Gumbo.  Each time Gumbo tried to do something, Buzz was there to thwart him.  The fans got in one good laugh and are pumped as our Main Event is finally ready to begin.

First, music hits and we hear “Gumbo 7:30 says its suppa time, bitch” and out comes the Interim World Champion ‘the Ragin Cajun’ King Rad Gumbo alone.  The fans boo him pretty spectacularly.  He flips off the fans as he doesn’t seem to care.  He gets in the ring, removes his cape and crown and his title and hands it to the ref.  Next, music changes and out comes the World Champion Buzz Steel.  The fans pop huge for the champ.  He high fives all the fans as he makes his way to the ring and makes one lap around the ring much to the delight of the fans.  He gets in the ring and immediately hands his title to the ref and goes nose to nose with Gumbo.  The ref steps in between the two and tells them that they have 60 minutes to determine who the undisputed World Champion will be.

Before the match begins, Rad slugs Buzz with a foreign object.  Buzz starts off disoriented.   

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Buzz Steel rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

Buzz Steel absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

Buzz Steel absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Buzz Steel rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Buzz Steel executes a BUZZ CUT (DIAMOND CUTTER)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....


===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

Buzz Steel absorbs the punishment.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

Buzz Steel Reverses the pin!!!

Buzz Steel is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Buzz Steel executes a BUZZKILL (INSUGURI)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a COTTONMOUTH CLUTCH....


===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Buzz Steel executes a THE BUZZER....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against THE BUZZER but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Buzz Steel executes a THE BUZZER....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a COTTONMOUTH CLUTCH....


===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Buzz Steel executes a BUZZ CUT (DIAMOND CUTTER)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against BUZZ CUT (DIAMOND CUTTER) but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Buzz Steel executes a THE BUZZER....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....


===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a FRENCH QUARTER NELSON (REST HOLD)....

Buzz Steel absorbs the punishment.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Buzz Steel kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Buzz Steel executes a REVERSE NECKBREAKER ....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....


===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

Queen Alexandria makes her way down to the ring.  She looks at Rad who nods to her. 

Buzz Steel rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Buzz Steel rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Buzz Steel executes a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo reverses SLINGSHOT SUPLEX

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a WHERE Y'AT?  (QUICK JABS)....

Buzz Steel absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Buzz Steel rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES.... Queen Alexandria then hits Buzz with a low blow.

Buzz Steel absorbs the punishment.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Buzz Steel was pinned by "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo!!!

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo wins with a BURBON STREET BLUES over Buzz Steel!!!

King Rad Gumbo gets the win and becomes the UNDISPUTED World Champion.   He stands over the prone form of Buzz Steel laughing holding both titles.  Queen Alexandria joins him in the ring and the two celebrate as the show comes to an end.

Just then, the show’s feed started to go wonky and then two people we’ve never seen before show up on the screen.  “HCW…everyone has a price for the BILLION DOLLAR MAN!  Ha ha ha ha ha”

What the hell???

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