Saturday, September 16, 2017

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2017 #605 – Tacoma Thunder


Hello fans and welcome to our debut show called “Tacoma Thunder” taking place in gorgeous Tacoma, WA.  After some pyro, a video airs introducing the new Thunder roster.  Once completed, GM Max McGillicutty comes out to a pop from the crowd and thanks everyone (sold out show) for attending.  Max tells us that they have a hell of a show tonight that will see World Champion Sonic Blade on the show today.  Max also informs us that both Thunder and Heat will now be changed to 2 hour shows each with a 20 minute time limit unless circumstances warrant a change.  Max leaves and then more pyro goes off.

After the pyro ended, the man known as the Super Duper Shockmaster makes his way out and takes a mic.  He says that Texas Wildfire was so afraid of him that he hightailed it to the ‘other’ brand.  SDSM says that he will destroy the roster until he is granted another shot at TW.  He demands a match right here and now.

Newcomer Ovaltine Jackson comes out to a pop from the crowd.   Fans have signs reading “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine”.  He gets in the ring and is immediately attacked by SDSM but Ovaltine fights him off.  SDSM went for a huge splash but Ovaltine moved and as SDSM staggered out of the corner, he was hit by a spinebuster.  SDSM struggled to his feet only to get caught by the Director’s Cut Powerslam.  Ovaltine went for the cover and got the 3 count.  Ovaltine Jackson gets the win and celebrates by climbing the turnbuckles.  Well, SDSM wasn’t thrilled and then hit him from behind knocking him from the turnbuckles and falling to the floor.  SDSM followed Ovaltine to the floor and then rammed him viciously into the ring post.  SDSM then laughed as security got in between them to prevent any further attacks.  Super Duper Shock Master then leaned over and said “How’s that win looking for you now chump stain?”  He laughed his deep, mechanical laugh as he made his way to the back.  (4 min)

Ant Graham is backstage with Covfefe.  Graham speaks for his man and says that it’s time for Covfefe to have a shot at some gold but one man is standing in the way of that…Drew the Canadian Love Machine.  Graham promises the next title shot goes to his man.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  First, TNT comes out to a pop from the crowd.  He is followed out by his opponent Ghee Buttersnaps.  Ghee stuns TNT with an elbow smash.  He follows it up with another but TNT pulls him over the top rope and both men tumble to the outside.  The two begin to brawl and before the 10 count was reached, TNT rolled back into the ring right before Ghee did and Ghee ended up getting counted out.  Jeez, another really short match @ 2 minutes on this one.  Ghee, frustrated, leaves while TNT celebrates with the fans before departing.

Ladies wrestler Starr Vixen is being interviewed and she says she loves the Pacific Northwest in all its glory.  She says she’s glad she was picked for this brand as she knows they will dominate.  She says she’s fighting Lavender Gooms later in the show and says she’s ready to show the Tacoma fans what she can do.

We head back to the ring for the next mach.  First, ‘Bad News’ Marvin Barnes comes out and he is booed.  Next, one member of the 6 man champions the Axe comes out to a pop from the crowd.  He is tall but Barnes is practically there with him; just has more bulk.  The Axe was dominating Barnes and even scored some near falls after dropping Barnes with the Axe.  Barnes, however, is about as dirty as they come and after ‘accidentally’ bumping the ref, Barnes hits Axe with a low blow.  He then picked Axe up and set him up on the top turnbuckle.  Barnes then climbed up there too (what the heck is he doing?) and then actually picked up Axe and then hit a thunderous POWERBOMB FROM THE TOP ROPE!  Holy Sh!t chants rang out throughout the entire building.  Barnes crawled over and draped an arm over Axe’s prone form.  The count was slow.  1…2…3.  Barnes gets a HUGE win over the Axe.  Barnes makes it to his feet (it seems it took almost the same out of him) and he let the ref raise his arm in victory.  He didn’t stick around long and medics came out to check on Axe.  He was shaken after that but ok.  He left on his own accord to a pop from the fans.  (13 min)

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is backstage and he says that Covfefe (aka Magnum Kone) is the thing nightmares come from but he takes no stock in such things and he’ll put this one to bed.

Our next match is ready to go and Lavender Gooms comes out first to a mixed reaction from the crowd.   Next, Starr Vixen comes out and she gets a loud pop from the crowd.  Starr had control of the first couple of minutes of the match but then Lavender then just took over dominating her opponent.  After attempting a sliding kick to the floor, missing and then crashing into the steel post, Lavender took a turn for the worse and Starr turned up the heat.  She immediately pulled Lavender into the middle of the ring and locked in a scissored armbar.  Lavender couldn’t reach the ropes regardless of how hard she struggled but in the end, she just tapped out.  Starr gets the win (12 min) and then extends a hand to Lavender helping her up.  The fans pop but then they are interrupted by the Duchess.  The Duchess has a mic and tells us that Max came to her asking her to be the Ladies Face of HCW Tacoma.  In order for her to successfully do that, she needs to be the Ladies Champion once again.  She proceeds to call Taylor Bella out (who was not there today) and challenges her for the belt.  Both Lavender and Starr seem to take offense and tell the Duchess that if she wants a title match, she has to go through them.  The Duchess laughs and says she’d go through them like a hot knife through butter.  Starr tells her to go sign a contract for a match and they will do the same.  After a brief staredown, the Duchess eventually leaves and is followed by Lavender and Starr.

Backstage, Bad News Barnes is interviewed.  “Axe was the biggest guy in HCW but that is no longer the case.  Bad News is here to stay and now I’M the biggest dog in this yard.  Anyone who wants to steal my bone can ask the Axe exactly what THAT just felt like.”

The Smashers make their way out to the ring and demand a match against any competitor.  Smasher #1 asked, when no one came out, “is the entire roster afraid of us?  Get us some competition!”   A few moments later and the Muscles Trio showed up on the stage to a huge ovation from the crowd.  The three did a ‘rock, paper, scissors’ and Muscles Thorpe and McGuire headed down to the ring for the match.  The Smashers didn’t like waiting so they attacked Thorpe and McGuire in an effort to get the match going.  The Smashers DOMINATED the Muscles.  Those poor rainbow colored bull horn wearing lovable little guys had their asses handed to them and then some.  It didn’t help that Thorpe got injured in the first minute of the match leaving his partner to be annihilated.  Towards the end, Muscles Weasley ran down and tried to throw in the towel for his team but Smasher #1 caught it and hurled it back in his face.  After they were satisfied with the destruction they rained upon their opponents, #1 hit McGuire with a knee smash and he made the lazy cover (no one was kicking out of anything) and the Smashers got the win.  After the match, Smasher #2 took the mic and called out the World Tag Team Champions.  To everyone’s surprise, the Champs Hoff n Spicy (Davis Hoffmeister and DJ CJ Spice) came out.  DJ had a mic of his own and told the Smashers that the champs are HERE and not hard to find.  Davis chimed in and said that anytime the Smashers wanted to play in the big leagues, they were HERE.  The fans popped for them and they left without further action.  The Smashers ended up storming out of the ring.  (21 minutes, 73 to 140)

Backstage, GM Max McGillicutty found that somehow in the move, the picture (defaced more than ever) of the Unknown Assassin made its way to Tacoma.  He took it down and made a point of sending it back to Master Bull.

It’s time for our main event.  First, manager Ant Graham came out and introduced Covfefe.  He came out and was booed his entire walk down to the ring.  Next, surprising music hit and out came World Champion Sonic Blade.  Sonic came out and got the crowd to pop louder than they have all night.  Sonic walked straight down to commentary and then told us that he was there to scout the match.  He said he wanted to see the top two men for his title in action.  Finally, Drew the Canadian Love Machine came out to what had to be the loudest pop from this crowd.  He made his way to the ring and after staring down both Covfefe and Ant Graham, he climbed the turnbuckle to pose for the fans.  He hopped down and took off his jacket getting ready for the match.  GM Max McGillicutty came out and told us that only 51 minutes of the show was actually wrestling and he didn’t want the Tacoma fans to go home un-satisfied so he declared that this match would be a 60 minute, greatest number of falls wins.  The first fight went only 7 minutes and ended after Ant Graham got mad at the ref and shoved him resulting in a DQ.

Fall 1:  Drew the Canadian Love Machine (7 minutes expired)

The battle continued and the next fall went a little longer (11 minutes) and ended again because of Ant’s interference.  This time Ant smacked Drew with his walking cane ( the ref didn’t see it) and Covfefe got the pin.

Fall 2:  Covfefe (18 min expired)

Covfefe started the next fall stronger but that was only because Drew was recovering from the cane shot.  Once he recovered, the Canadian Love Machine took the fight to the monster but both men were beginning to slow down a bit.  They took their time in this fall and after 29 minutes, Drew hit a handstand head scissors and got the 3 count.

Fall #3:  Drew the CLM (47 min expired)

Right off the bat, Drew took out Ant Graham with a flying fivearm.  He then pull out some handcuffs that Ant was carrying around (probably was going to use them) and he handcuffed the manager to a barrier effectively taking him out of the picture.  With Graham gone, Covfefe was lost and confused and that just let Drew go to town (124 to 47).  There were only 13 minutes left for this fall and Drew took it right to the end.  With only seconds to spare, Drew hit the corkscrew pescado and got the 1-2-3.  (final mark was 59:54)  Drew is the official #1 contender and even exhausted, he was still able to celebrate.  Sonic Blade entered the ring and extended his hand to Drew who shook it.  The two had a stare down as the show came to a close.


Thanks for reading.  Our first “Phoenix Heat” show will be up next.  Stay Tuned.

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