Wednesday, August 3, 2016

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2016 #495

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Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  As we saw in the last issue, Ivan Dragovich regained the TV title.  Even though this is “TV”, he said he was taking the night off.  We also saw the Steel Curtain once again get screwed over by the Muscles Trio.  Not only did they lose a shot at the World Tag Team titles but will now have to defend their trophy against the Trio.  That’s fine as I’m sure the SC and Biceps Bannerman will have no problem destroying these guys.

We cut right to GM Max McGillicutty’s office.  ‘The Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo walks in and says that he has some shopping to do today so he wants the first match on the card.  Max says fine and Rad heads to the ring.

First, the Shockmaster makes his way to the ring (without stumbling or losing his glitter covered Stormtrooper helmet).  Rad Gumbo then makes his way out with his manager MJ.  He heads to the ring and attacks the Shockmaster before the bell could ring.  Finally, it does ring and we are underway.   Gumbo had it harder than expected as the Shockmaster wouldn’t go quietly into the night.  He put up a hell of a fight and Gumbo kept looking at the clock like he needed to be somewhere.  About 8 minutes in, MJ tells Gumbo to “turn it up” and Rad went to town.  After wearing the big man down, Rad locks in the Onion Lock but needs to use the ropes for leverage.  The Shockmaster ends up tapping out.  Rad Gumbo gets the win in 14 minutes.  MJ motions for Rad to “GO” and he takes off out of the ring.  I wonder what all that is about.

The final announcement regarding the 2016 Hall of Fame is who will induct MW3.  The words “Who will induct MW3 into the Hall of Fame” flash up on the Omegatron and then the lights go dark with only the Omegatron providing light.  Seconds later it too goes off and we hear the all-too-familiar “GONG” ring through the speakers.  Yep, MW3 will be inducted by none other than the Undertaker.

The camera cuts backstage and we see Gumbo rushing out of the building.  There is a car waiting for him.  He hops in and it zooms off.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  First, out comes Angry Jack Lawson.  We’re still not clear on what went down between him and ‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild but it practically caused the two to almost come to blows.  Reid then makes his way out with his manager Master Bull.  Reid looks like a man on a mission.  He hits the ring and the two immediately begin fighting.  Reid tore into Jack and it looked like he was going to just dominate but he began to run out of steam and after whipping Reid into Master Bull and the two collided, Jack then turned on the power.  He began taking the match to Reid but finally Reid had enough and dropped Jack with the Reid Bottom.  He went over and talked to Master Bull and after consoling his angry protégé, he provided some intestinal fortitude and Reid went back to destroying Jack.  Reid hit an axe handle smash from the top rope and hit the Reid Leg Drop.  He made the cover and got the 1-2-3.  Reid wins this one in solid fashion.  Reid and Master Bull celebrated as Jack slunk to the back.   (19 min)

There is commotion backstage and it appears that Madame Jade was taken out.  She is on the ground clutching her knee and there is a police baton sitting on the ground near her (is this Nancy Kerrigan all over again?  The ‘whack’ heard around the locker room).  GM Max McGillicutty walks over and is accompanied by ambulance personnel.  Jade is tended to and gets loaded on a stretcher and is taken out.  Taylor Bella (whoa…she’s a blonde now?) walks over and asks what happened.  Max tells her and she replies “Well I guess that means I inherit her title shot.”  Max reminds her that the Ladies Champion The Duchess has been told to stay at home.  Taylor says that is not acceptable and tells Max that she wants her title shot and she wants it now.  She tells Max to make it happen and then walks away.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  Adam Jameson comes out first to a good pop from the crowd.  Next, Oswald Zimmerman with Ant Graham come out next to a chorus of booing and hissing from the audience.  Adam seemingly owned this match but just as he was going for a pin, Ant Graham would jump on the apron causing a distraction.  He did this a few times during the match and it got under AJ’s skin.  Adam would continue to chase Ant off but he never went far.  Oswald struggled in the ring against the speed of AJ.  Adam dropped Oswald with a pele kick but Ant was right there on the ring apron causing a distraction. AJ turned, apparently fed up, and started to go after Graham but the bell rang signaling a time limit draw.  Adam was ticked off.  Oswald and Ant quickly hightailed it out of there (a draw is better than a loss).   (20 min draw).

The Savior is backstage and he says he has a message for the masses and says he needs to do this in the ring.  He makes his way out and the fans are not happy with what he did to Drew, the Canadian Love Machine.  The Savior said he had to ‘save’ Drew from the lies and deceit and proclaimed that when Drew returns, if he returns, Drew will thank him.  There is a commotion in the crowd and LOOK, it’s Drew the CLM!  He jumps in the ring and after trading fist smashes, he drops the Savior with a kick to the gut and a DDT.  He then locks the Savior in a crippler crossface and hollers for a mic.  He says he wants the Savior in an I QUIT match and tells the Savior who is yelling in pain to accept the match.  After a minute in the excruciating hold, the Savior agrees to the match. Drew lets go and the Savior rolls out of the ring.  The fans pop for Drew as he celebrates in the ring and the Savior mumbles as he makes his way to the back.

Master Bull is in the back with Reid and he is excited about the win.  “You are BACK, Daddy.”  Reid smiled.  “You’re right.  This was a great win and shows that I’ve found my groove.  With that, I’m ready to get back in the title hunt.  Bull, nothing can stop us and we are destined for greatness.”  They shook hands and then left. 

We were very curious as to what Rad Gumbo was up to so our GM sent a cameraman to follow him.  Gumbo exits the car just outside a Fry’s Electronics Superstore.  Gumbo rushes in and sneaks down a parallel aisle and crouches down.  He waits patiently until his prey passes in front of him and he immediately attacks.  HANG ON…that’s MAGNUM KONE!  Rad just goes to town hitting the unsuspecting Kone with everything from flinging CD’s at him like Frisbees to miscellaneous audio equipment.  He tries to choke Kone out with some Monster Cable ™ wires but Kone battles out of it and smashes Rad with a DVD player.  The two continue into the laundry section where Rad slams Kone’s head into a dryer and Magnum slams the washer lid down on Rad’s arm.   Next, they move on to the Home Theatre room and just start whipping each other into the LED and Plasma TV’s just destroying them.  Rad bodyslams Kone onto the broken glass and he hears the sounds of sirens.  Just as he is trying to get a way, Magnum trips him and Rad crashes into a cable filled storage section and got tangled up in the wires (ala C3PO in Star Wars).   Security and the police bring the scuffle to an end and walk both men out in handcuffs.

We finally cut back to our show just in time for the main event.  This will be the Smashers defending the Tag Team titles against the Muscles.  First, Muscles Thorpe and Weasley come out to the horrendous drowning of booing from the crowd.  I guess they finally alienated the fans.  Next, MJ comes out and introduces the champs Smashers #1 and #2 and they are received with equal disdain.  The Smashers immediately went to town just annihilating the Muscles.  While the beatdown was transpiring, the final member of the Muscles Trio Muscles McGuire made his way down only to be cut off by the Steel Curtain.  The Steel Curtain get a huge pop when they drop McGuire on his head.  They continued to the ring where Muscles Thorpe was complaining to the ref about the distraction.  The Smashers took advantage of it and beat him silly.  Thorpe started to battle back up ended up getting tripped by MJ.   The Steel Curtain then pulled Weasley off the ring and his face smashed hard into the mat.  The Smashers then double teamed Thorpe and hit the Steel Smasher.  Smasher #1 made the cover and got the 1-2-3.  The Smashers retain the belts and they glare at the Steel Curtain.  MJ leads his team away.  Buzz Steel climbs into the ring and pulls Muscles Thorpe into the center of the ring.  Starbuck Steel takes Weasley and sets him up on the Spanish Announce table.  Buzz and Starbuck climbed to opposite turnbuckles and launched themselves – Buzz hitting a flying elbow on to Thorpe in the ring and Starbuck hitting a flying leg drop onto Weasley on the table which broke under the impact.  Starbuck joined Buzz in the ring and the fans chanted and applauded them as the show came to an end.


That is all for now.  Stay tuned.  More to follow.



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