HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 02.09

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Well, as we saw in the last issue, both AJ Styles and Brock Lesnar got a bit of redemption over Kane and the Undertaker.  Kane even disposed of his “brother” with a chokeslam setting up the F-5 delivered by Lesnar through a table.  To the best of our knowledge, neither Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Kane nor the Undertaker are here tonight.  We are coming to you live from Toledo, OH as we continue our tour of the Midwest making our way towards the East coast. 
 

Before the event can get underway, the lights go off and the blue hue fills the arena.  The Omegatron then lights up and there, on the screen, is the Undertaker.  His eerie music is playing in the background.

 

“Brock Lesnar.  I am the Number One contender for the CSWA title but not your title.  However, I am not in a hurry to get my hands on the CSWA World title  just yet.  In fact, I will take this time right here and now to officially challenge you to a match at Wrestlemania 2014.  This will be a match for the ages and there, on the grandest stage of them all, I will beat you in the middle of the ring and walk out the winner. If, in the meantime, I win the HWF title, we will square off as Champion vs Champion.  Your time as a world champion is coming to an end.  Get your affairs in order because after our match, you will (eyes roll into his head) REST…IN…PEACE!”   The lights come back up as the music fades.

 

The show begins with pyro going off.  Master Bull then makes his way to the stage with a microphone.  “Welcome Toledo.  We are happy to be here to bring you action and talent from the HWF and CSWA organizations.  We will have championships defended here tonight and promise that today’s event will be one to remember.  We will also be utilizing local talent to see what they can do.  With that, let’s get this show on the road.”

The first match of the night is Malo Leche de Mantiquilla taking on local talent Ponderous Steel.  It didn’t take much more than 5 minutes for Malo to end Steel’s quest to join the HWF and CSWA.  Malo gets the win with a Black Doom.

Next in tag team action, local wrestler brothers Hurricane Hunter and Boorish Hunter took on Roderick Strong and Kevin Steen.  The brothers Hunter faired a bit better than Ponderous Steel did in his singles match but not by much.  Strong nails a Yakuza kick on Boorish Hunter and Kevin Steen finished off Hurricane Hunter with a Package Piledriver.  (12 min)

 

In the back, Pick and the Axe are sitting chit-chatting.  Mike stands up and does a double take.  He asks “Hey, when you said you wanted to get the band back together, did you mean just us or the WHOLE band?”  The Pick, sitting relaxed in his chair, replies “Nah, just you.  The others…well, they never mattered.  It was always about the THUMP Man.  The bass and the drums…life was so good then.”  Mike then sits down.  “Ok.  I’m not sure if there is something in the air in this nasty town but I thought I saw something.  Guess it was nothing.”

 

We go to the ring for our next match.  First comes the challenger Tensai followed by the European Champion Kazarian.  Kaz was very nonchalant in the ring.  The bell rings and Tensai hits Kaz like a freight train.  The champ battles back but Tensai’s power proves to be overwhelming.  Tensai picks up the champ and nails a running senton splash.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Before the ref can announce Tensai as the winner, Master Bull comes out and says that he is going to try to enforce the “best of 3 falls/60 minute” rule for all title matches (as long as he can remember).  Bull asks the ref to start the match again for the second fall and then leaves.  First fall was 9 minutes.  The match begins and Kaz does exactly what a champion should be doing and for the next 28 minutes, he takes the match to Tensai finally getting a pin after hitting the Back to the Future Suplex. (2^nd fall 28 minutes; 37 minutes elapses; 23 minutes remain).  The 3^rd fall begins and Kaz is on the defense the entire match.  Tensai battled back like an unstoppable Terminator.  At the 19 minute mark, Tensai and Kaz are on the outside of the ring and Tensai hits a huge tackle.  Kaz goes flying into the ringpost almost knocking him out.  He picks up the fallen champion and throws him in the ring.  He nails a Banzai power bomb and gets the 1-2-3.  Tensai has just won the European title.  He celebrates with the fans as medics come to attend to Kazarian.

 

We cut to the back and Master Bull is in his office with a new guy.  Master Bull is asking him questions.  “So, you know the Pick and the Axe?”  The other guy replies “Yeah, I do…unfortunately.  You see, we all played in a band together.  I was the lead singer; the mainstay of the group.  It was my vocals that rocketed us to stardom.  Unfortunately, Pick and Axe, thought they were the center of attention and we ended up splitting due to creative differences.  I heard about this new team – Hardly Predictable who wants to take the battle to Devon and Medley.  I would be excited to be in their corner – to give them the lowdown; the skinny if you will on how to defeat, what did Casey call them ‘pain in the ass’?  I think that’s great.  But in order for me to do this, I will need to be part of your roster.”  Master Bull acted like a child opening presents at Christmas.  “Hell Man, Welcome aboard.  Glad to have you.  By the way, what is your name?”  The new guy responded “I’m Rocky Lapetus”.  “Well Rocky, hate to do this to you but that name has to go.  What else you got?”  Rocky replied Well, as the leader of the band, I was known as Wam “Bam” Arsonist.”  “SOLD.  That is who you will be.  Welcome “Bam” to our roster.”  They shook hands and Wam then left the office.  Master Bull sits back down and chuckles “heh, Lapetus.  What’s a Lapetus?”

 

As Wam Bam Arsonist leaves Master Bull’s office, he is whistling to himself and we see Cactus Jackie stop with a startled look on her face.  “You have got to be kidding me.”  She makes a beeline for Master Bull’s office.

We head back to the ring for another match.  Big E. Langston and Ezekiel Jackson are in tag team action against two members of the A-Team, Alberto Del Rio and Austin Aries.  Langston and Jackson were told that if they can win a non-title match, they would be considered for title contention.  The longer the match went on, the more it favored the challengers.  Unfortunately due to Cesaro’s involvement at the very end of the match, Big E and Big Zeek could not get the pin before the 30 minute time limit ran out.  Since they put on a hell of a performance, I do think that they would be meeting up with the champs again.
 

Next up is Professor Cobra defending his X-Division title against Mike “the Axe” Medley.  This match will be a 60 minute/best of 3 falls match.  Mike comes down to the ring with Dirk Devon.  Devon attacks Professor ramming him into the steel post.  Dirk throws Cobra back in the ring and the bell rings.  The Axe locks in a bearhug and Professor Cobra taps out at :58.  The second fall begins.  Mike is in the ring showboating.  Cobra rolls out of the ring and nails the Pick with a  flying mamba strike.  He heads back to the ring and nails Medley with 2 King Cobra flying headbutt shots.  He rolls Medley up and gets the 1-2-3 in just under 2 minutes.  Medley is furious.  Devon is livid.  The ref then sends Devon to the back to prevent any further interference.  The bell ring signaling the 3^rd round.  This one goes much longer.  Medley had the slight advantage as he was taking out his anger on Professor Cobra.  About 25 minutes into the match, Dirk Devon comes back out and stands on the stage.  Professor Cobra sees him and just as he is about to complain, Axe takes him down with the Axe smash. Cobra is almost out on his feet.  Medley charges and nails a tackle.  He covers the Professor as the ref counts 1…..2…….3.  Mike “the Axe” Medley has just defeated Professor Cobra to become the NEW X-Division Champion.  Dirk comes down and together, they start laying into Cobra.  Out from the back come Hardly Predictable and they chase off Pick and the Axe.  Medley is showboating with his newly won championship.  HP helps Cobra out of the ring.

 

Once again, we head backstage where we pick up seeing Cactus Jackie storming into Master Bull’s office.  She kicks the door in.  “What the Hell Bull?  I though you didn’t have any contracts to give out.  What is going on?”  Master Bull stood up.  “Hey, you don’t work here.  You don’t just storm into my office demanding anything.”  Master Bull picks up the phone.  “Security, come in here.”  He hangs up the phone and glares at Jackie.  “This is my house.  You don’t tell me what to do in my own house.  I’m doing what is best for business.  Right now, that includes Wam’s hiring due to his connection with the Pick and the Axe.  Right now, this is more important than putting you on an already full women’s roster.”  He looks to the door as security show up.  “Gentlemen, please escort this woman off the premises.  Jackie, you bet take this time to go cool off.” As Jackie was being escorted out, she turns to Master Bull and says:

Cactus Jackie: I won’t be ignored. 
Master Bull: You’re so sad.  You know that, Jackie?  Lonely and very sad.
Cactus Jackie: Don’t you ever pity me, you smug bastard.
Master Bull:  I’ll pity you… I’ll pity you.  I’ll pity you because what you’re doing is pathetic.
Cactus Jackie:  Why?  Because I won’t allow you to treat me like yesterday’s trash that you can just throw in the garbage?
Master Bull:  Take her away.

We cut back to the ring and the main event is up next. Randy Orton will be defending the Intercontinental Championship against Samoa Joe in this 60 minute/best of 3 falls match.   For 15 minutes, Joe stayed toe to toe with Orton.  After connecting with a quick boot to the face, Orton rolled up Joe and hooked the tights to secure the first round win.  For the next 18 minutes, Joe proved why he is such a dominating force.  He beat Orton from pillar to post but after Orton eye raked Joe, he nailed the RKO in the middle of the ring.  He makes the cover for the 1…2…3.  Randy Orton retains the Intercontinental title.

***NEWS FLASH***

This just in.  Master Bull has said that a MAJOR announcement is forthcoming.  This will rival the challenge issued by Undertaker to Brock Lesnar for a Wrestlemania match.  Master Bull promised that all will be revealed in the first week of March.  Stay tuned.