“Clarkus
Kentus here, ringside with the number 1 fan of the SuperWarrior, Brandon.
Brandon:
Nice to meet you Clarkus. Wow, The SuperWarrior and you all in a day.
CK: So,
how long have you been a fan of the Super Warrior?
Brandon:
I've been a fan of the super warrior his whole career! He's the greatest (and
Super-est)!
CK: Seems
like you're a huge fan of wrestling in general.
Brandon:
Yeah pretty much my whole life. I know all the guys! As far as being a fan I am
the best there is, best there was, and the best there’s ever going to be!
CK: The
Hitman, a classic one.
Brandon:
Yeah well to be the Man, you got to beat THIS Fan!
CK: yeah,
umm...so....
Brandon:
Clarkus, in all my years of being The Superfan, I know all the moves. I've been
practicing for years. I have to say, that this biz, I could do it!
CK: oh,
I'm not sure about that.....
At this
point unbeknownst to Brandon and Clarkus, Stone Cold Steve Austin has walked up
behind both of them! The Rattlesnake has a beer in hand and a frown on his
face.
Brandon:
You're damn right Clarkus! I know you can smell what I'm cookin'.....Woooooooo!
CK: well,
I'm not so sure. This business takes years of hard work and paying your
dues....
Brandon:
I'm the SuperFan of the SuperWarrior and as his number 1 fan, I can do
anything. And that's the bottom line, cuz Brando says so!
At that,
Austin spits beer and throws down his can.
Austin:
oh hell no! Tell me I did not just hear you turn my life into your catchphrase,
son. You come out here, with your little sign and your I'm the SW's number 1
fan, and your crappy little nickname talkin about making it and you say you can
do anything, and that the bottom line Cuz Brandango says so?
Brandon:
No that's not what I meant Mr. Austin.
And my name isn’t Brandango….
Austin:
uh-eh! You tellin the Rattlesnake that he didn't hear what he heard?
Brandon:
but-
Austin:
WHAT? Let me tell you what, boy.....I still go some pull around here,
Brandango....and Stone Cold says that if you think you can cut it here, well
ole Stone Cold is gonna make that dream come true. And THAT's the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold
says so.
Next on the list is the King Damian Sandow taking on “the
Original Big Daddy” Donnie B for the European championship. Before the match began, Magnus comes
out. Sandow begins with a full nelson face smash and Donnie B hits a
flying dropkick. Sandow then punts
Donnie B in the gut and follows it up with a
Russian leg sweep. DB gets Sandow
prepped for the Lights Out Brainbuster but Sandow wiggles out of it and hits a
double arm neckbreaker. He goes for a
pin but DB kicks out at 2. His Highness
hits the double arm neckbreaker again and hooks the leg but DB still kicks out
at 2. Sandow then hits a swinging
neckbreaker (I think he’s working on DB’s neck), makes the cover but only gets
the 2 count. Sandow then hits a kneedrop
but doesn’t go for the pin. Donnie B
reaches deep down and hits the lights out brainbuster but he is too exhausted
to try for a cover. DB nails a flying
dropkick and the King hits a full nelson face smash. Donnie B his holding his neck like he’s
really hurt. Sandow picks him up and
hits another swinging neckbreaker. He
makes the cover and after a 1-2-3, this one is over. King Damian Sandow retains the European
championship. Donnie B had to be helped
to the back.
Next is Zack Ryder defending the Internet Media title
against the Mighty Casey. This match is
set up as a last man standing. Ryder
begins with a spin under takedown armbar and Casey hits a lame-o back
rake. Ryder comes up with a
leapfrog and hiptoss and Casey locks in the Kimura. Ryder makes it right to the ropes. Casey follows it up with a Flying elbow drop. The ref counts but Ryder is up pretty
quick. Casey hits the Strikeout headbutt
but Zack nails a missile dropkick and Casey is down. Ryder removes the turnbuckle and tries to ram
Casey’s head into it but it is reversed and Casey does the same thing. Ryder bounces off of it bleeding. Ryder hits a sunset flip and Casey hits a
backhand chop (followed by WOOOOOO from the crowd). Ryder headbutts Casey’s arm (what?) and Casey
eye gouges him. The end started to come when Casey hits not one, not two, not
three but FOUR Strikeout Headbutts to Ryder.
Ryder is not getting up. The ref
counts 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10. Ryder is
down and the match goes to the Mighty Casey.
Casey wins the IM title.
This of course brings out Master Bull who says that Ryder is
due his rematch right here and now. And
this one will be a lights out match. A
seemingly rested Ryder attacks Casey before the match can begin.
This next one goes 11 minutes. At the 10 minute mark, both men hit each
other with haymakers and they both go down.
Ryder makes it up at the 7 count whereas Casey barely made it just
before the 10 (he is still exhausted from his last match). Ryder goes to remove
another turnbuckle. He sets Casey up in
the corner and then charges. Casey moves
out of the way and Ryder plows right into the steel post knocking himself
out. Casey pulls him back in. The ref makes the count and finally reaches
10. Casey is now the true winner and is
crowned the Internet Media Champion. Of
course, out comes Dude Love to attack him.
A well placed DDT puts Casey to sleep.
The dudester then removes some of the ringside mats and then pulls Casey
out of the ring. He then proceeds to
piledrive him on the exposed concrete. Casey is busted open. Out comes Master Bull. “YOU IDIOT!
If you have crippled my champion, I will sue your sorry ass from here to
China. If you lay ONE more hand on him,
you’re finished.” Dude Love got up and
walked away. Casey had to be taken back
on a stretcher. As he is being taken to
the back, you see a small smile creep up on his lips and he hugs his title just
a little tighter.
Next up is our third to final match. First comes Mike “the Axe” Medley. Right after him comes “The Elitist” Reid
Rothchild and he is power walking to the ring.
Ravishing Raquel is running after him asking him what is wrong. Reid hits the ring and doesn’t waste any time
going after Medley. Before they can lock
up, though, out comes Master Bull. He
states that this is Medley’s final chance for this belt. If he falls short, his quest is done. Medley slaps and rubs his hands together and
looks like a starving dog sitting in front of a fat, juicy steak. Medley says he has a special guest ref for
the match and out comes Fast Count Frank. Mike locks in a grinding side
headlock. Reid tries to get out but he’s
not going anywhere. Mike then hits a Belly
to Belly suplex and Reid hits the Reid Bottom.
Medley powers back and knees Reid in the midsection. Raquel is screaming at ringside but Mike
ignores her. (After the cold shoulder,
the camera does a close up on Raquel and she can be heard saying “I won’t be
ignored”). Reid hits a Reid leg drop and
Medley stuns him with a forearm uppercut. Reid hits another Reid Bottom. The Axe locks in another headlock. He lets go and nails another forearm
uppercut. He makes the cover but only
gets a 2 count. Reid hits a leg drop and
Mike executes a power punch. Stunned,
Reid walks right into a shoulder tackle from Medley. Reid bounced off the ropes and landed in the
ring. Mike makes the cover but Reid
kicks out. More back and forth action
but Reid just can’t get ahead. Reid
tries more leg drops, spinnaroonis, but Medley has an answer for each and every
move. Medley hits two belly to belly suplexes and then hits the Axe Smash. He goes for the cover and Frank counts fast
1..2…3. Mike Medley is the winner of the
match. Frank tries to award Mike the
belt but Raquel delivers a kick to the groin of Medley and he goes down. Raquel helps Reid up and they grab the title
and then leave. On his way out, Reid
takes a mic “I told you that you will never take this title from me. And in case you want to look it up,
possession is 9/10’s of the law and I am in possession of this so it is mine;
not yours.” Mike gets up and takes a mic
of his own “COWARD! You have your woman
attack me again? What kind of man are
you? Get your scrawny ass back in here
before I make your life a living hell. I
will guarantee that belt of yours will be my property by hook or crook. I guarantee it”. During the Axe’s rant, Reid and Raquel both mocked
him as they walked to the back and ended up disappearing in the back.
In the back, both of the female fans (known as LN and AZ)
were in the back getting the grand tour.
They met up with Master Bull who was sitting talking on the phone. They kept talking and interrupting his phone
call so he got agitated enough he picked up his chair and moved it to another
side of the building just so he could get some peace and quiet. Eventually, they found him and enthusiastically
shook his hand thanking him for the ringside tickets.
Our next to last match for the evening is MW3 vs Mr
Wrestling 4 in the confines of a steel cage.
MW3 is down first and flips off the fans as they boo and hiss at
him. Next comes Mr. Wrestling 4
accompanied by Shelton Benjamin. 4
shakes hands with the fans before getting in the ring. Honest Abe comes out, enters the ring and
then locks it shut. The bell rings and
MW3 hits the MW3 superkick right off the bat.
4 battles back with the Mr. Wrestling driver. MW3 hits a dragonscrew and follows it up with
the MW2 kneelift. He goes for the cover
but 4 kicks out at one. Shelton then tosses a chain in to the ring and
4 chokes MW3 with it but MW3 neutralizes it.
Shelton then tosses brass knuckles in to the ring. MW3 grabs them and nails 4 right between the
eyes. Mr. Wrestling 4 collapses in the
ring. MW3 goes for the cover and gets
the 1-2-3. Now it is a race to get out
of the cage. He goes to the door and
Shelton opens it. WHAT THE HECK? MW3 hits the floor and wins the match. MW3 and Shelton climb into the ring. They both begin to stomp on 4. He starts to battle back and catapults
Shelton into the cage. MW3 then hits a
piledriver on 4. MW3 helps Shelton up
and the celebrate over the prone carcass of Mr. Wrestling 4.
The cage is removed and we are set for our main event. This
match will have Christian taking on Brock Lesnar to see who will go on to meet
the Rock tomorrow night for the Undisputed Heavyweight title. Christian begins with a springboard
plancha. Brock hits a powerbomb and Christian
nails the Unprettier. He goes for a pin and gets a 2 count. Brock with a power clothesline it met by a falling inverted
DDT by Christian. They go toe to toe until
Christian hits a One Man Concerto for a 2 count. Brock nails an F-5 but doesn’t have it to go
for the pin. Brock hits 2 consecutive powerbombs
and Christian ekes out a falling inverted DDT.
Brock nails a press and slam and gets a 2 count. Christian tries to toss Lesnar out of the
ring but that is neutralized. Christian
gets a second chance and tosses Brock out again for an 8 count. The two battle a few more minutes trading
blows until Brock hits a huge back bodydrop.
Christian hits a falling inverted DDT but Brock hulks up and nails a
powerslam and then a jackknife powerbomb.
He goes for the pin and gets the 1-2-3.
Brock Lesnar will go on to meet the Rock for the Undisputed Title.
Just before the show is ready to end, out comes Master
Bull. “I don’t want anyone to forget
that there is one final event. That is
our Invitational Battle Royal to determine who wins a title shot of their
choice. This time around it will be the
CSWA’s turn. The top 10 CSWA wrestlers
not holding a title will be The Original Big Daddy Donnie B, Austin Aries, John
Cena, Mike “The Axe” Medley, Samoa Joe, Antonio Cesaro, Undertaker, Great
Khali. It went down like this: Khali eliminates Donnie B; Samoa Joe outed
The Axe; Undertaker eliminated Aries; Cesaro dumped Cena; Joe eliminates Khali;
Undertaker eliminates Cesaro. It came
down to a final match Samoa Joe defeated the Undertaker after pinning him with the
Muscle Buster. Samoa Joe is granted a
title match for any belt he wants.
That is all. Thank
you for coming. We will see you tomorrow night for more great action.
The show goes off the air. Clarkus Kentus and Larry Morton come out to
thank the fans and welcome them to come back for tomorrow’s show. Suddenly, the lights go out and the “Omegatron”
puts out a blinding light. The
resolution dies down and we start to see something transpire. This must be like a teaser.
Scene: A Legal Office.
parts Unknown
Two shadowy figures are
discussing shadowy things.
"It's been too
many years, My White. I need to return to my previous heights of glory. Heights
that were denied to me by many much much lesser wrestlers. See, years ago I ran
that organization. And the fans LOVED me. At least the smart ones did. But due
to petty jealousy I was pushed out.
And I want it
back."
"But sir, Things are
different now. What can you hope to do to get your seat back?"
"Over the next few
months, we will put things in motion that will bring me back to the head of the
Big Table. This will require cunning, sacrifice and lots and lots of money. The
great Ted DiBiase did it best....what makes you think we can't do it again.
Money talks...and we will definitely do some talking."
"Okay Mr N. What
do we do?'
"Patience. We got
time. But mark my words. They will let me back in...
Or people will suffer.
Starting with that bastard Big Daddy Donnie B."
Fade To Black.
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