Hello fans and
welcome back to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter. Tonight is our “go home” show – the final
show before the PPV in just 3 days. In
Maxine’s office, she says that Max McGillicutty is banned from the building and
wants nothing more to exert maximum control over tonight’s show. She tells us that there will be two contract
signings taking place tonight – Ladies Champion Catalina Harper and her PPV
opponent Korbi Kong and World Champion Jack Lumber taking on the King of HCW
the Wicked Prophet. She says she’ll
moderate both contract signings to ensure Jack and Korbi are not causing
problems.
After the pyro
goes off, our first match gets underway.
First, Phat Sol comes out as a challenger for Bishop Ripley’s spot in
the TV title line up. He gets a nice pop
as he makes his way to the ring. Bishop
Ripley makes his way out to booing from the fans. The match starts off pretty quick and Phat
Sol controls the pace of the match until the Banker made his way out with a
briefcase. He goes and stands at
commentary watching the match. The
distraction was just enough to allow Bishop to hit Phat with the Chest Burst
Smash and roll him up for the 1-2-3.
Bishop gets the win and is handed a contract to meet Texas Wildfire for
the TV title. Bishop leaves the ring and
talks to the Banker. He hands him the
contract in exchange for the briefcase.
He opens it and sees it full of cash.
He smiles and walks away. The
Banker smiles pointing to his head that he outsmarted everyone and left. Phat chatted with the fans but before he
could leave, he is attacked by Dr. Red Fang.
Fang beats Phat down and then hurls him into the steel steps. He stands over Phat cackling. Refs come out and separate the two. (13 min for the match; 5 for the aftermath)
The Masked Banana
is backstage and he issues a challenge to Scooter J. He says he wants a non-title match tonight
and if he can beat him, he wants a shot at the PPV.
Next, Ivan
Dragovich makes his way out to booing from the crowd. He flips the fans off as he makes his way to
the ring. He continues to mock and jaw
jack with the fans until the music changed and out comes Perfect Pecs
Stoddard. Stoddard gets a decent
reaction as he makes his way to the ring.
He gets in only to be attacked by Ivan.
Pecs shrugs it off and hits the Ten Beats of the Bodhran. He picks Ivan up and hits an Irish curse
backbreaker. Pecs takes Ivan back to the
mat with a rolling fireman’s carry slam.
He hits another Irish curse backbreaker but Ivan shrugs it off and
immediately locks in the Accolade Clutch.
Pecs struggles and just about makes it to the ropes but then Shawn ‘Abs
of stone’ Austin comes out and immediately kicks his hand away. Ivan dragged Pecs back to the center of the
ring where Pecs ended up tapping out.
Ivan Dragovich gets the win and the fans are pretty vocal with their
displeasure. He leaves. Austin enters the ring and begins to size
Pecs up. He runs over hitting a knee to
the face that sends Pecs tumbling out of the ring. Austin picks him up and hits a Fisherman’s
suplex right on the exposed metal on the ramp.
Stoddard writhes in pain. Austin
stops him a couple of times before leaving.
Pecs ends up making it to the back on his own. (4 min for the match; 5 for the aftermath)
The
Anytime/Anywhere Champion Scooter J is backstage with his muscle TNT. SJ says that he will grant the yellow freakazoid
a chance at glory but we all know how it will end. SJ and TNT walk off laughing.
Up next, we have
some 6 man tag team action. First, the
Muscles Trio come out wearing their rainbow colored bull horns and eating from
the boxes of Booty O’s cereal. They
interact with the fans and enter the ring.
They don’t have to wait too long before the Snake Pit – Leiton, Tobias
and Niven Snake come out to a mixed reaction from the crowd. They do their fist bump on the stage and head
to the ring. Just before entering the
ring, the Snake Pit are attacked by the 5th Column – Baron Von
Blood, Oswald Zimmerman and Karl Braun.
The Pit end up chasing them off but the damage was done. Once the match began, the Muscles owned it
from the start. Leiton got a near fall
after hitting a Curb Stomp and Niven almost got one after hitting a spear but
they could not keep the Trio down.
Tobias made the hot tag at the 13 minute mark but the Muscles tripled
teamed him before Thorpe was able to put Tobias down with an overhead
suplex. The Muscles Trio get the win but
they are chased out of the ring when the Column came back down with
chairs. They proceeded to beat the the
Pit with the chairs and anyone who tried to get in the ring was immediately
chased off. Finally, once the damage had
been completed and blood spilt, the Column left. The Snake Pit had to be helped to the back.
We head to the
backstage area where the King of HCW the Wicked Prophet is cutting a
promo.
Prophet: I
cannot believe Jack MO Lumber would stoop so low as to bring sharp weapons into
a little playful altercation. I know he is scared, I am the King, and he should
be scared. But he will never see what is coming. He will be traumatized and
never know who to trust. What a punk bad guy, can’t believe he even has fans.
We head back to
the ring for our next match. J9 comes
out first to massive booing from the crowd.
She makes directly for the ring and gets in. She jaw jacks with the fans until the music
changes, the stage fills up with fog and out like a bullet comes Violet
Valkyrie to a huge pop from the crowd.
She high fives the fans as she makes her way down to the ring. J9 paces impatiently in the ring
waiting. She points to her wrist tapping
signifying time is ticking. Violet
enters the ring and J9 goes right on the offense. J9 takes control early but Violet quickly
evened things out. At the 8 minute mark,
J9 drops Violet with a back elbow smash.
Before she can do anything, Goldie Locks comes out standing on the
stage. J9 gets distracted and starts to
yell at her. Violet then reaches up and
pulls J9 to the mat locking in a triangle choke. J9 flounders for a bit but ends up tapping
out. Violet Valkyrie gets the win and
the fans pop huge. Goldie smiles and
leaves. Violet makes her way to the
back. J9 pouts and eventually
leaves. (8 min)
We head to the
back for a promo from the flannel wearing World Champion Jack Lumber:
Lumber: I
thought the Wicked Prophet wasn’t the sharpest axe in the shed, but to think
that I would go as low as actually cutting him in a scuffle, he’s got to be the
dumbest member of the HCW. Has he forgotten that I already have a tree growing
in his honor? After countless times trying to cheat his way out of a loss to
me, I still prevailed and there’s a weeping willow growing healthy and strong
to prove it (planted in honor of WP being a crybaby all the time). I’m not
afraid and I know what I am capable of achieving. No matter what trickery or
trauma may come, I will exit knowing I’m smarter and a more noble man. I welcome
whatever result may come, be it a successful defense of my belt or a loss,
knowing that I still have honor. Not sure that WP can say the same.
GM ‘Sassy’ Maxine
DeVito makes her way out to booing from the crowd. She gets in the ring and tells the crowd to
shut up. She introduces the challenger
to the World Title the King of HCW the Wicked Prophet. Prophet comes out to booing from the
crowd. He gets into the ring and sits
down at the table. He hands over his
briefcase holding his Money in the Bank contract as he’s officially cashing it
in. The World Champion Jack Lumber comes
out next to a huge pop from the crowd.
He makes his way down and enters the ring and sits opposite the
King. The two stare at each other as
Maxine explains the rules of their match.
She puts the contract in front of Prophet who signs it first followed by
Jack without hesitation. Maxine then
dismisses them saying that if either lays a hand on the other, their match will
be off. Jack and Prophet leave
separately without any incident.
Maxine then
announces the next contract signing.
This one is for the Ladies title.
First, Korbi Kong comes out to a huge pop from the crowd. She makes her way to the ring and Maxine is
just staring daggers at her. Korbi
ignores her. Next, the Ladies Champion
Catalina Harper comes out followed by her clowder of cats. The
cats surround the ring like they have minds of their own. Korbi looks on with a slightly freaked out
look on her face. She immediately signs
the contract. Maxine then dismisses her
sending her to the back. Maxine then
writes something in and then hands the contract for Catalina to sign. Catalina does so with much delight. Uh oh, what is Maxine scheming now? Eventually, Maxine and Catalina leave.
It’s time for our
main event. Music breaks out and the
crowd gets into “Hey Margarita” as the Masked Banana makes his way out. The fans pop huge for him. He stops by his fan club, the Banana Boat and
shakes some hands as he makes his way to the ring. His music is abruptly shut off as the
Anytime/Anywhere Champion Scooter J comes out with his muscle TNT. He makes his way down to the ring as the fans
boo the crap out of him. He climbs into
the ring with TNT standing behind him. The
title is not on the line in this match so SJ hands his title to TNT who takes
it outside the ring. The bell rings and
this one gets underway.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA SPLIT....
ScooterJ
absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a CHOKE ON ROPES....
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA-RAMA....
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a EYE RAKE....
The Masked
Banana absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a CHOKE ON ROPES....
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA SPLIT....
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA CREAM PIE....
ScooterJ
reverses BANANA CREAM PIE!
ScooterJ
executes a EYE RAKE....
The Masked
Banana reverses EYE RAKE!
The Masked
Banana executes a B.A.N.A.N.A.S.....
ScooterJ
neutralizes B.A.N.A.N.A.S..
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a EYE RAKE....
The Masked
Banana executes a POTASSIUM BOOST....
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a CLOTHESLINE....
The Masked
Banana absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a 10 PUNCHES....
The Masked
Banana executes a SUDDENLY BANANAS....
ScooterJ
is attempting a pin!!!
1...
The
Masked Banana kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA HAMMOCK....
ScooterJ
attempts to defend against BANANA HAMMOCK but is unsuccessful.
The
Masked Banana is attempting a pin!!!
1...
ScooterJ
kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA SPLIT....
ScooterJ
absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA HAMMOCK....
ScooterJ
attempts to defend against BANANA HAMMOCK but is unsuccessful.
The
Masked Banana is attempting a pin!!!
1...
ScooterJ
kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ executes
a CHOKE ON ROPES ....
The Masked
Banana attempts to defend against CHOKE ON ROPES but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a CHOKE ON ROPES....
The Masked
Banana executes a SUDDENLY BANANAS....
=====
In the 14th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a EYE RAKE....
The Masked
Banana attempts to defend against EYE RAKE but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 15th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a BODYSLAM....
The Masked
Banana attempts to defend against BODYSLAM but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 16th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a BODYSLAM....
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA CREAM PIE....
=====
In the 17th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a SUPERKICK....
The Masked
Banana attempts to defend against SUPERKICK but is unsuccessful.
ScooterJ
is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
The
Masked Banana kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 18th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a CHOKE ON ROPES ....
The Masked
Banana executes a POTASSIUM BOOST....
=====
In the 19th minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a BODYSLAM....
The Masked
Banana executes a YELLOW FEVER....
=====
In the 20th minute of the match: =====
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA SPLIT....
ScooterJ
neutralizes BANANA SPLIT.
=====
In the 21st minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a BODYSLAM....
The Masked
Banana executes a YELLOW FEVER....
=====
In the 22nd minute of the match: =====
ScooterJ
executes a CHOKE ON ROPES....
The Masked
Banana executes a B.A.N.A.N.A.S.....
The
Masked Banana straps in the B.A.N.A.N.A.S..
ScooterJ
submits!!!
The
Masked Banana wins with a B.A.N.A.N.A.S. over ScooterJ!!!
The Masked Banana
gets the win and now will officially get his shot at the title at the PPV. Scooter J and TNT attack the Masked Banana
beating him down. Scooter J stands over
him holding his title high.
The fanfest is up
next and finally, our PPV. Stay Tuned.
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