Hello fans and welcome back to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter. Last show, we saw US Champion Rad Gumbo retain against the Masked Banana. We are not sure why but we think ‘Sassy’ Maxine DeVito wants to set MB up for continuous failure. We’ll have to do some more digging into this one.
Today’s show
begins almost immediately, after the opening pyro salvo completed, with Snake
Pit member Leiton Snake storming out to the ring. Leiton Snake says he was left out of the
battle royal and issues a challenge to SJ for his MITB contract. Scooter J comes out and tells Leiton to stop
acting like a baby and if he wants a match, approach him directly. Leiton started to exit the ring and make his
way to Scooter J but instead the other Snake Pit members Niven and Tobias Snake
came out and grabbed SJ and took him to the ring (surprisingly, there was no
beatdown). Once the match began, it was
apparent who wanted it more…Scooter J.
He totally dominated Leiton and the Snake Pit at ringside couldn’t
believe it. Leiton ordered them to not
get involved as he wanted to prove he could pull it off. The match went an astounding 20 minutes but
he couldn’t keep Leiton down. In the
final seconds of the match, Scooter J hits Leiton with a superkick. He goes for the pin but the bell rang
signaling the time limit had been reached before the ref’s hand hit the
mat. The match ends in a draw but
Scooter J retains his MITB title shot.
The Snake Pit left without further incident but the fans, who do not
like SJ, booed him until he was in the back and out of sight. (20 min draw)
We go backstage
with co-GM ‘Sassy’ Maxine DeVito. She is
talking to someone. “I don’t care what
it takes, beat him into submission and get rid of him.” We hear “I’ll get it done” and into the light
walks Madman Mason. He walks off like a
man on a mission. Maxine comes into the
light and has an evil look on her face.
J9 comes out to a
nice pop and heads to the ring. She then
calls out Goldie Locks for dumping her out of the ring during the battle royal
when they supposedly had a truce. She says
she doesn’t like being lied to so she demands she come out and face her in the
ring. The music changes and out comes
Goldie and 3 people dressed in bear outfits.
Goldie says that if J9 wants a piece of her, she can have it. Goldie takes control early on and then tried
for the Goldie-Go-Round until one of the bears distracted her and causing her
to stumble. She turned and yelled at the
bear and then turned back around and J9 planted her with a DDT. She makes the cover and gets the 3
count. J9 gets the win. The bear removes its head and its…Violet
Valkyrie. She smiles but then takes off
through the crowd as the other ‘bears’ try to grab her. The two bears help Goldie to the back. J9 eventually leaves. (10 min)
We head backstage
where Madman Mason, on orders from Maxine DeVito is attacking the
Anytime/Anywhere Champion the Masked Banana.
MB tries to protect himself as he is hurled into lockers. Mason pulls out a set of brass knuckles.
Madman
Mason executes a OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX....
The Masked
Banana absorbs the punishment.
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA HAMMOCK....
Madman
Mason executes a OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX....
Madman
Mason executes a SPINEBUSTER SLAM....
The Masked
Banana absorbs the punishment.
Madman
Mason executes a GERMAN SUPLEX....
The Masked
Banana attempts to defend against GERMAN SUPLEX but is unsuccessful.
The Masked
Banana executes a STEAL FOE'S BRASS KNUCKLES....
Madman
Mason executes a PSYCHOTIC BREAK....
Madman
Mason is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
The
Masked Banana kicks out of the pin!
Madman
Mason executes a LOADED KNUCKLE DIVE TO GROIN....
The Masked
Banana reverses LOADED KNUCKLE DIVE TO GROIN!
The Masked
Banana executes a PEANUT BUTTER & BANANA SANDWICH....
Madman
Mason reverses PEANUT BUTTER & BANANA SANDWICH!
Madman
Mason executes a ROUNDHOUSE WITH BRASS KNUCKS....
The Masked
Banana absorbs the punishment.
Madman
Mason is attempting a pin!!!
The
Masked Banana Reverses the pin!!!
The
Masked Banana is attempting a pin!!!
Madman
Mason Reverses the pin!!!
Madman
Mason is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
The
Masked Banana was pinned by Madman Mason!!!
Madman
Mason wins with a ROUNDHOUSE WITH BRASS KNUCKS over The Masked Banana!!!
Madman Mason has
just won the Anytime/Anywhere title. He
holds it over his head laughing psychotically.
He then walks off leaving MB in a crumpled heap on the floor. Finally medics arrive and tend to him.
Backstage, the
Hardcore Champion Biceps Bannerman addresses the attack on him by Dr. Red
Fang. He knows that Fang and his manager
are dangerous but he eats danger as a mid-day snack. He tells Fang he’s going to be at ringside
scouting the next match and if Fang gets in his face again, he’s going to pull
a ‘Kimiko’ (see ‘The Boys’ season 2 episode 5).
The next match is
ready to get underway. First, true to
his word, the Hardcore Champion Biceps Bannerman comes out to a pop from the
crowd. He goes to sit at
commentary. Next, Outback Oscar comes
out to a pop from the crowd and enters the ring. He doesn’t have to wait long for the
loudspeakers to blare out “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYBODY” and out comes Dr. Red
Fang and his manager the Ambassador.
They walk to the ring and Fang snarls and growls at the fans. He gets into the ring and walks to the other
side and glares at Bannerman. Biceps
motions him to “bring it” but the Ambassador restrains his client. Fang barely controlled the match as he kept
getting distracted by Bannerman. At the
9 minute mark, the Ambassador hopped up on the ring apron and secretly gave
Fang a foreign object. The ref came over
questioning what the Ambassador just did.
Biceps got up and discretely walked behind the Ambassador while talking
to fans and he pushed the Ambassador right into the ref. The ref, thinking the Ambassador just
attacked him, immediately called for the bell and disqualified Fang for outside
interference. Outback Oscar gets the win
but he doesn’t get to celebrate as a very irate vampire attacks him and hits
him with 2 Transylvania piledrivers. He
was going for a third but Bannerman got in the ring and chased him off. Bannerman helped Oscar to his feet and he
just glared at Fang and his manager sneered at them as they made their way to
the back. (9 min for the match; 5 for
the aftermath)
TV Champion
Starbuck Steel will be on the card tonight defending his title against 5th
Column member Oswald Zimmerman. The
Column are there in force and they promise that tonight, the TV title leaves
with them.
The 5th
Column make their way out to massive booing from the crowd. Baron von Blood and Karl Braun go sit at
commentary. Next, TV champion Starbuck
Steel comes out but he stops on the stage.
He has a mic and says that he’s not going to ask the ref to send the
other Column members to the back but he will be bringing out some of his own
muscle. Texas Wildfire and Biceps
Bannerman come out to a huge pop from the crowd. The trio head to the ring. Starbuck enters and is attacked by Oswald
kicking this one off. Starbuck had
control early on but interference from the Column swayed the match to Oswald’s
way. About 10 minutes in, Wildfire and
Bannerman had had enough of the Column’s interference and chased them to the
back. Without Oswald’s backup, Starbuck
was able to take back control of the match and 5 minutes later, hit the
Starplex for the 3 count and the win.
Starbuck is victorious in his first title defense. He goes to shake hands with the fans and then
eventually leaves. (15 min)
Ladies Champion
Catalina Harper is backstage. She says
that one lucky lady gets a shot at the championship but it won’t be Hayley…or
Violet, or J9 or anyone else who thinks they deserve it. Catalina says that Missy Chick is the next
contender and if she gets her scrawny butt to the ring, they can have their
match.
Missy Chick rushes
down to the ring ecstatic that she gets a shot at the Ladies title. Next, the music changes and out comes the
Ladies Champion Catalina Harper. She
makes her way to the ring as the booing from the fans fills the arena. She sneers and smirks and gets into the
ring.
The match was a
lot closer than Catalina expected as Missy went toe to toe with her and even
managed on two occasions to take her off her feet. Catalina changed her strategy and kept Missy
grounded. Missy managed to hit the
Missy Plex for a 1 count and an Exploder Suplex for a 2 count. The champ kept her wits about her and
employed her ring knowledge. Catalina hit a jaw jacker for a 1 count. Missy locked in a scissored armbar but
Catalina made it to the ropes to break the hold. Missy
hit a Missy Plex for another 2 count but then gave Catalina a little too much
time to recover as Catalina BLASTED her with the Cat’s Meow. She made the cover hooking the leg (and the
tights) to get the 3 count. Catalina
wins the match and retains her title.
She stands in the ring holding her title high as the fans boo. This brings the show to an end.
Thanks for
reading. We’re back tomorrow with
another show. Stay tuned.
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