Hello fans and welcome back to the HCW Wrestling Newsletter. In this episode, we recap the fallout that will be coming after last month’s PPV Reign of Champions. After the pyro went off, ‘Sassy’ Maxine DeVito comes out and states that Max has taken the night off so she is running the show. The fans boo. She tells them to shut up so that she can go over tonight’s card. They boo again. She says she has plans to get them to appreciate her. First, she states that there will be a Women’s Battle Royal. All female members of the roster get to fight for a future shot at Ladies champion Catalina Harper. Maxine says that Catalina deserves the night off so she doesn’t have to participate. The fans boo. Next, she states that there will be a Men’s Battle Royal however, she is not a fan of World Champion Jack Lumber so she states he MUST take part in the match. The fans boo her again. She then announces that there are two title matches tonight; one being the Anytime/Anywhere belt held by the Masked Banana (she is not a fan of his) and the US Championship held by ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo. The fans finally pop. She says she may throw another odd match out if she feels like it. The fans boo as she finally leaves.
Dr. Red Fang
attacked Biceps Bannerman after his Hardcore title win busting him open and
smearing BB’s blood on the title. I am
sure Bannerman will be out for revenge (and the vampire’s blood too).
There is a
commotion backstage and Dash Woodbrick has attacked Master Bull. Dash yells that Bull cost him the World
title. Maxine (and security) make their
way over and she sees Bull in a bad way.
She tells Dash that if he wants revenge on Bull, he can have it tonight. In fact, that match is up now. Dash grabs Bull and drags him to the ring.
Once at the ring,
Dash rolls Master Bull in and then takes his time soaking in the booing from
the crowd. He gets into the ring and goes
to make the cover but the bell hasn’t run yet so the ref says he can’t start
counting. Dash yells at the ref to start
the match. Dash makes the cover but Bull
kicks right out. Dash’s eyes go wide and
he can’t believe it. He goes for the pin
again hooking the leg but Bull kicks out before a 1 count. Dash starts throwing haymakers but Bull
begins to fight back. They exit the ring
and continue fighting. The match ends up
as a double countout as the two fight their way to the back. Dash gets in a cheap shot on Bull and then
takes off with Master Bull in tow.
Our next match is
for the Anytime/Anywhere title. First,
the Muscles Trio come out and they do a “rock/paper/scissors” to see who will
get the match. Muscles McGuire wins and
he heads to the ring for his match. The
music changes and “Hey Margarita” plays and the Masked Banana makes his way
out. He heads down to the ring. McGuire is ready but so is MB and the AA
champ dominated the match. About 8
minutes in, McGuire started getting in some good moves trying to make a
comeback but the champ was on his A-Game and he took back over eventually
hitting the Banana Split making the cover and getting the 3 count at the 15
minute mark. MB gets the win and retains
his title. He helps McGuire to his feet
and shakes his hand. The other members
of the Trio hit the ring and it looks like they were going to attack MB but
instead they gave him a box of Booty O’s cereal and a set of rainbow colored
bull horns. The Masked Banana and the
Trio danced in the ring until Maxine came back out.
Maxine was not
happy to see everyone getting along so she said that all of them in the ring will
be in the Men’s Battle Royal right now.
She calls the rest of the Men’s roster down. Once everyone made it to
the ring, the music hit and out comes World Champion Jack Lumber. Jack says he should not have to be in this as
he can’t defend the title against himself if he wins. Maxine glares at him and starts tapping her
foot in frustration. Jack finally
relents and heads to the ring. Immediately,
a bunch of the bad guys attacked Jack and managed to eliminate him early but
not before Jack eliminated 6 people.
Jack was ok with that. He went
and sat at commentary to see how the rest would play out.
"Bad News" Marvin Barnes was
eliminated by Jack Lumber with KNEE LIFT - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Ivan Dragovich was eliminated
by Jack Lumber with STIFF UPPERCUT - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Smasher #1 was eliminated by
Jack Lumber with TIMMMMMBEEERRRRR - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
"The Bounty Hunter" Jake
Montrose was eliminated by Jack Lumber with SPEAR - Throw Out Of Ring
after 5 minutes
Mountain Man Junior Huber was
eliminated by Jack Lumber with KICK TO MIDSECTION - Throw Out Of Ring after 2
minutes
Madman Mason was eliminated
by Jack Lumber with CHOP TO CHEST - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Jack Lumber was eliminated by
Baron Von Blood (Reinhardt Schmitt) with GERMAN LARIOT - Throw Out Of Ring
after 2 minutes
"The Ragin Cajun" Rad
Gumbo was eliminated by "Luke Warm" Lucas Johnston with Quick
Forearms - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Master Bull was eliminated by
Matches Malone (with an assist from Dash Woodbrick) with SPINNING PUNCH COMBO -
Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Dash Woodbrick was eliminated
by Superquake Ferguson (with an assist from Master Bull who was still at
ringside) with STAND ON NECK - Throw Out Of Ring after 6 minutes
Adam Jameson was eliminated
by "Luke Warm" Lucas Johnston with Flying Body Press - Throw Out Of
Ring after 2 minutes
Apollo Gyze was eliminated by
Starbuck Steel with OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK - Throw Out Of Ring after 3
minutes
Maximillian Redbeard was
eliminated by Otto Ruthless with VERTICAL SUPLEX - Throw Out Of Ring after 3
minutes
Muscles McGuire was
eliminated by Baron Von Blood (Reinhardt Schmitt) with STOMACH KLAW - Throw Out
Of Ring after 3 minutes
The Banker was eliminated by
The Masked Banana with BANANA CREAM PIE - Throw Out Of Ring after 5 minutes
The Masked Banana was
eliminated by Tobias Snake with ROPES - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Phat Sol was eliminated by
Perfect Pecs Stoddard with FRONT POWERSLAM - Throw Out Of Ring after 5 minutes
Superstar Chic Monroe was
eliminated by Regulator Mule with BOOT TO FACE - Throw Out Of Ring after 5
minutes
Wilber Townsend was
eliminated by Texas Wildfire with STANDING ARMBAR - Throw Out Of Ring after 2
minutes
Jesse California was
eliminated by Regulator Mammoth with REGULATOR ROUNDHOUSE - Throw Out Of Ring
after 3 minutes
Ghee Buttersnaps was
eliminated by Karl Braun with ROPES - Throw Out Of Ring after 1 minutes
Col. Samuel Flagg was
eliminated by Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister with ROUNDHOUSE KICK -
Throw Out Of Ring after 7 minutes
Drew the Canadian Love Machine was
eliminated by Niven Snake with TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM - Throw Out Of Ring after 2
minutes
Davis "the Hoff"
Hoffmeister was eliminated by Niven Snake with TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM - Throw
Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Biceps Bannerman was
eliminated by Dr. Red Fang with ARM BAR - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Shawn 'Abs of Stone' Austin was
eliminated by Regulator Mule with ELBOW SMASH - Throw Out Of Ring after 2
minutes
Talon McFrost was eliminated
by Superquake Ferguson with CUTTING EDGE - Throw Out Of Ring after 7 minutes
Smasher #2 was eliminated by
Superquake Ferguson with CLOTHESLINE - Throw Out Of Ring after 5 minutes
Superquake Ferguson was
eliminated by Tobias Snake with NECK DROP ON TOP ROPE - Throw Out Of Ring after
3 minutes
Butch Huber was eliminated by
Regulator Mule with REGULATOR SMASH - Throw Out Of Ring after 6 minutes
Regulator Mammoth was
eliminated by Regulator Mule with REGULATOR ROUNDHOUSE - Throw Out Of Ring
after 5 minutes
Regulator Mule was eliminated
by Tommy Lightning with UNDERHOOK SUPLEX - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Tommy Lightning was
eliminated by Texas Wildfire with HANGMAN CLOTHESLINE - Throw Out Of Ring after
7 minutes
Perfect Pecs Stoddard was
eliminated by Starbuck Steel with SHOOTING STAR BUCK - Throw Out Of Ring after
2 minutes
Freedom Fighter Justice was
eliminated by Texas Wildfire with TURNBUCKLE SMASH - Throw Out Of Ring after 3
minutes
Baron Von Blood (Reinhardt
Schmitt) was eliminated by Starbuck Steel with HANGMAN DDT - Throw Out Of Ring
after 4 minutes
Texas Wildfire was eliminated
by Starbuck Steel with ROUND THE WORLD (4 TB'S) - Throw Out Of Ring after 4
minutes
Outback Oscar was eliminated
by Starbuck Steel with BUCK U (NECKBREAKER) - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Freedom Fighter Flash was
eliminated by Starbuck Steel with ROUND THE WORLD (4 TB'S) - Throw Out Of Ring
after 2 minutes
Dr. Red Fang was eliminated
by Starbuck Steel (with a distraction caused by Biceps Bannerman) with BUCK U
(NECKBREAKER) - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Starbuck Steel was eliminated
by "Luke Warm" Lucas Johnston with Flying Dropkick - Throw Out Of
Ring after 2 minutes
Ovaltine Jackson was
eliminated by Tobias Snake with SNAP ELBOW DROP - Throw Out Of Ring after 3
minutes
Tobias Snake was eliminated
by Niven Snake with SAMOAN DROP - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Niven Snake was eliminated by
Muscles Weasley with TORNADO D.D.T. - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Otto Ruthless was eliminated
by Oswald Zimmerman (The Iron Cross) with STOMACH KLAW - Throw Out Of Ring
after 3 minutes
Karl Braun was eliminated by
Muscles Weasley with FRONT DROPKICK - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Muscles Thorpe was eliminated
by Ferb Huber with SUPERKICK - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
"Luke Warm" Lucas Johnston
was eliminated by Ferb Huber with EUROPEAN UPPERCUT - Throw Out Of Ring
after 3 minutes
Muscles Weasley was
eliminated by Matches Malone with OVERHEAD SMASH - Throw Out Of Ring after 4
minutes
Billy Robbins was eliminated
by Matches Malone with SLEEPERHOLD - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Matches Malone was eliminated
by Ferb Huber with SUPERKICK - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Bishop Ripley was eliminated
by Ferb Huber with SUICIDE DIVE TO FLOOR - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Ferb Huber was eliminated by
Oswald Zimmerman (The Iron Cross) with ROPES - Throw Out Of Ring after 2
minutes
Oswald Zimmerman (The Iron
Cross) was eliminated by TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) with THE TOWNSEND DRIVER -
Throw Out Of Ring after 7 minutes
This left Scooter J and TNT.
Scooter J tried to make amends with TNT and it looked like they were on
the verge of a reconciliation until…
TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) was
eliminated by ScooterJ with SUPERKICK after 3 minutes
ScooterJ
wins the Battle Royal!!!
Scooter J stares
at Jack Lumber and says that he’s got his number. Jack stands up and claps his hands. Jack nods and looks ready to take on his
future opponent.
We head backstage with
the NEW TV Champion Starbuck Steel.
Starbuck says that Apollo attacked him after his hard fought win and
tonight, he scored a little revenge tossing Apollo out of the ring but he’s not
done with him by a long shot.
Also backstage is
Texas Wildfire. TW says the Banker cost
him the TV title all because he can’t stand losing or is mad that not everyone
has a price. He says that turnaround is
fair play and even though it’s not ‘nice’, costing the Banker his shot at the
US title is a small part of what he has planned. The Banker better go cash in his bonds as
he’s going need that money for his hospital bills.
Back in the office
of the GM, Maxine is pissed. She says
that she despises the Masked Banana and she is going to make him suffer. She says Gumbo needs an opponent tonight so
she is making him Rad’s opponent for the evening. She hopes Rad smushes him.
Next up is the
battle royal for the Women. Ladies
Champion Catalina Harper comes out first to booing from the crowd. She goes to sit down at commentary to scout
the match. The ladies file out one by
one and get into the ring. We don’t have
long to wait for the fisticuffs to begin.
Betsy Cummings (f) was
eliminated by Kimberly Kiccsass (f) with CHRISTO - Throw Out Of Ring after 2
minutes
J9 (f) was eliminated by
Goldie Locks (f) with TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS - Throw Out Of Ring after 3
minutes
The British Crippler (f) was
eliminated by Felicia Cummings (f) with FRONT FACELOCK - Throw Out Of Ring
after 3 minutes
Kimberly Kiccsass (f) was
eliminated by Lady Hermann (f) with KNIFE EDGE CHOPS - Throw Out Of Ring after
2 minutes
Missy Chick (f) was
eliminated by Leslie Grimes (f) with DDT - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Lady Hermann (f) was
eliminated by Felicia Cummings (f) with LEAPING SNAPMARE - Throw Out Of Ring
after 2 minutes
Felicia Cummings (f) was
eliminated by Lavender Gooms (f) with RUNNING LEG DROPS - Throw Out Of Ring
after 2 minutes
Sarona Reiher (f) was
eliminated by Leslie Grimes (f) with RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP - Throw Out Of Ring
after 3 minutes
Lavender Gooms (f) was
eliminated by Leslie Grimes (f) with RUNNING CLOTHESLINE - Throw Out Of Ring
after 2 minutes
Korbi Kong (f) was eliminated
by Leslie Grimes (f) with AUSTRALIAN UPPERCUT - Throw Out Of Ring after 11
minutes
Violet Valkyrie (f) was
eliminated by Leslie Grimes (f) (with an assist from Goldie Locks) with
MOONSAULT - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Goldie Locks (f) was
eliminated by Leslie Grimes (f) with MOONSAULT - Throw Out Of Ring after 2
minutes
Leslie Grimes (f) was eliminated
by Hayley Hailstorm (f) with WHAT THE HAIL? after 32 minutes
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) wins the Battle Royal!!!
Hayley Hailstorm
gets the win and the fans pop huge for her.
She climbs the second turnbuckle holding her arms high in victory but
she doesn’t see Catalina sneak in from behind and attack her. Catalina beats her down hitting a jaw jacker
and followed it up with locking Hayley in the Catalina Crab. Hayley is in pain slapping her hand on the
mat but Catalina doesn’t relent. Eventually security comes out and pulls
Catalina off of Hayley. Catalina turns
and puts the boot to Hayley’s head before leaving. She laughs all the way to the back. Medics came out and helped Hayley to her feet
and assisted in taking her to the back for an evaluation.
It’s time for our
main event. The Masked Banana comes out
first but notices his music isn’t playing.
Maxine shows up on the Omegatron showing her holding a plug (presumably
she pulled the plug on his music). He
makes his way to the ring and gets in the ring.
He looks a little worn down after his title match and having to
participate in the battle royal. The
loudspeakers light up with “GUMBO 7:30 MEANS ITS SUPPA TIME, BITCH” and out
comes the US Champion ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo and his manager Ms.
Alexandria. The fans pop as they make
their way to the ring. The match starts
fairly quickly and it was apparent that MB was just too exhausted. He however gave it a good go and hung in
there taking everything that Gumbo threw at him. We join the match at the 21 minute mark.
=====
In the 21st minute of the match: =====
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
The Masked
Banana rolled OC.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....
The Masked
Banana executes a NA....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!
1...
The
Masked Banana kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 22nd minute of the match: =====
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
The Masked
Banana rolled DC
Ms.
Alexandria executes a Distract opponent; protege attacks from behind....
The Masked
Banana absorbs the punishment.
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
The
Masked Banana kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 23rd minute of the match: =====
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
The Masked
Banana rolled OC.
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA CREAM PIE....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against BANANA CREAM PIE but is
unsuccessful.
=====
In the 24th minute of the match: =====
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
The Masked
Banana rolled DC
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a ONION TWIST (MUTA LOCK)....
The Masked
Banana neutralizes ONION TWIST (MUTA LOCK).
=====
In the 25th minute of the match: =====
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
The Masked
Banana rolled OC.
Ms.
Alexandria executes a Compute opponents odds of winning....
The Masked
Banana executes a B.A.N.A.N.A.S.....
The
Masked Banana straps in the B.A.N.A.N.A.S..
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo does not submit!
=====
In the 26th minute of the match: =====
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC
The Masked
Banana rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
"The Ragin
Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.
The Masked
Banana rolled OC.
Ms.
Alexandria executes a Distract opponent; protege attacks from behind....
The Masked
Banana executes a NA....
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
The
Masked Banana was pinned by "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo!!!
"The
Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo wins with a Distract opponent; protege attacks from
behind over The Masked Banana!!!
Rad Gumbo gets the
win and retains his title. He walks over
and helps MB to his feet and holds his arm up to a nice pop from the
crowd. The Masked Banana leaves allowing
Rad to celebrate with the fans as the show came to an end.
Thanks for
reading. Stay tuned; more to come.
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