HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2019 #805 – Phoenix Heat (10/23)

Hello fans and welcome to our (delayed) episode of HCW’s Phoenix Heat.  We apologize for the lateness of posting this show but things came up beyond our control.  We are just one short week away from the House of Horrors PPV taking place on 10/30 live in Phoenix, AZ.

Pyro goes off starting the show.  We begin in the office of GM Ruth Heartless.  She says that tonight, the TV title will be defended, a contract signing will take place between World Champion Texas Wildfire and US Champion the Wicked Prophet and a main event that has the 6 Man Tag team titles being defended with Wilber Townsend, Anthony Boom and Leon Teremoto defending the belts against the 5^th Column.  There will be no favorites in this match and it seems that anything will go.  Ruth is then interrupted by Master Bull.  Bull says that since Ruth took over as GM, the show has become boring with no reason to get excited about the show.  Ruth gets mad and says that if the fans want to see someone get their ass handed to them, she’d be happy to put Master Bull in a match tonight against Col. Flagg.  Bull walks off.  Ruth smirks.  The camera fades out.

We head to the ring for our first match.  First, Ovaltine Jackson makes his way out to a nice pop from the crowd.  Next, they fans are on their feet and explode when TV Champion Drew the Canadian Love Machine comes out.  Drew interacts with the fans as he makes his way down to the ring.  He enters and climbs the turnbuckle holding his title high.  The fans pop continues to get louder.  He finally steps off and hands the title to the ref who holds it up before calling for the bell to start the match.  This one was pretty even throughout the match which was a huge surprise to the champion.  He could not believe that Ovaltine was going toe to toe with him; much less outwrestling him at times.  The match closed in on the time limit and Oscar caught the champ with the Oscar sit out rear mat slam but then Drew hit a superkick out of nowhere.  Neither man was in any shape to attempt a pin.  The bell rang bringing this one to a draw finish.  Drew was pretty shocked but ended up shaking hands with Jackson much to the delight of the fans.  (20 min draw)

US Champion the Wicked Prophet arrives.  The fans chant “Wicket” which irks him.  He is stopped and asked what was on his mind.  “I wanted a challenge and I got a match with McGuire, who is essentially a joke. I take that match setup as a slap in the face. I will keep throwing down the unworthy, but the GM has to know that I am ready for the world. Texas Wildfire, I’ve got more powerful plagues to demolish you.”

Nix Anderson comes out carrying his ukulele.  He gets into the ring and calls out Hardcore Champion Dr. Red Fang but he is not in attendance.  Nix says he still wants to wrestle and invites anyone from the back to come out for a slobberknocker.  ‘Rowdy’ Roderick Rothchild makes his way out to boos from the fans.  Roderick gets on the mic and tells Nix he’d be happy to accept the challenge.  Roderick hands the mic to the ref and it appears we have ourselves a match.  The match was pretty even with both men hold the advantage briefly during the bout.  Things started to go Nix’s way after he nullified an airplane spin from Roderick but Roderick accidentally bumped the ref and the ref went down.  Just then, Dr. Red Fang jumped in the ring and hit Nix with the Vampire Lunge before taking off in the crowd.  Roderick picked him up and hit the Airplane spin again.  He dropped him to the mat and went for the cover.  The ref recovered in time to slap the mat 3 times and award the match to Roderick.  Rothchild had his arm raised and he smirked and sneered at Nix on the mat before leaving.  Nix eventually got to his feet and made his way to the back presumably to look for the evil vampire.  (14 min)

Backstage, the Banker says he has a match against El Chango tonight and then Master Bull at the PPV.  Both men will go down for the 3 count and he will once again be riding high in HCW.

Music begins and out comes the Banker.  The fans boo the crap out of him and he makes some obscene gestures back at them.  That got a few people laughing.  The Banker got into the ring and continued his verbal assault on the fans.  The music then changed and out comes El Chango.  The fans pop for him as he makes his way down to the ring.  He interacts with a few of them.  The Banker immediately attacks El Chango and takes the lead briefly before El Chango battled back and started to take the match to his opponent.  At the 6 minute mark, Master Bull comes out on stage and distracts the Banker.  This allows El Chango to hit him with a shooting star press.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  El Chango gets the win but it is cut short when Col. Flagg hits the ring and attacks El Chango.  Master Bull rushes down to join in the fray but the Banker catches him with a briefcase shot to the head.  The Banker leaves.  The ref gets Col Flagg off of El Chango long enough to let him roll out of the ring.  GM Ruth Heartless comes out and yells at El Chango to get out of “her” ring.   She then demands that the next match begin immediately.

The next bout kicks off with both Col. Flagg and Master Bull in the ring.  The briefcase shot that Bull took from the Banker kept him at a disadvantage throughout the match.  Bull tried to battle back but Flagg kept the pressure on and forced Bull to remain on the defensive.  12 minutes in, Bull hits the Roman Powerslam but barely has enough to make the cover and Flagg was able to kick out at 1.  The match continued for a few more minutes and it appeared the tide was turning in Bull’s favor after he locked Flagg in a camel clutch.  The lights flickered a bit and we can make out the Banker coming in from the crowd and hitting Bull again with the briefcase.  He slid out and hopped the railing hightailing it out of there.  Bull staggered to his feet and Flagg hit him with an enzuigiri.  He makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  Flagg steals a win and gloats over the prone form of Master Bull.  Flagg leaves and Bull is helped to his feet and to the back.  (15 min)

A pre-recorded video plays from the Masked Banana.  This actually transpired before his win and subsequent loss of the Anytime/Anywhere title.

Masked Banana: Well color me a plaid banana! Jack Lumber, you can have my number. I can’t believe we just became best friends. Bananas don’t grow on trees so we have no quarrel. Bwahaha! Who did I just have a match against? Right, Bishop! I can’t believe he smashed my Nannie. That was grown and raised and brought to me by a good human being – and you stomped on her! I would like to dedicate this song to the fallen Nannie:

I will remember you, will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Want to feel your warmth upon me
I want to be the one

I will remember you, will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much to deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

I will remember you, will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

So afraid to love you

But more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life

I will remember you, will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

NANNIE! YOU HELPED ME WIN THIS MATCH!

*MB sheds one single tear

Wow, I have great fans! Let the good times roll, brother bananas. And let the good times roll, sister bananas!

Well, that was touching.  The crowd gave him a light applause.

Our next match begins with Catalina Harper making her way out to boos from the crowd.  She gets in the ring and flips them off which just riles them up even more.  Kimberly Kiccsass makes her way out calling Catalina a failure for not even being able to hold a title as insignificant as the AA belt.  Catalina invites her to the ring for a throwdown and Kimberly accepts.  Kimberly controlled the match for the first 3 minutes but in the 4^th minute of the match, Catalina traps Kimberly in the Catalina crab but somehow Kimberly makes it to the ropes.  However, the damage had been done and Catalina controlled the pace until the 15^th minute when she once again locked Kimberly in the Catalina Crab.  Kimberly wouldn’t tap out but she was fading fast.  After the ref raised and dropped Kimberly’s arm twice, Catalina relinquished the hold and then turned it into a pin attempt.  She got the uncontested 1-2-3.  Catalina wins in dominating fashion.  She stomps on Kimberly once and then leaves.  (15 min)

There is a brief intermission while a table is set up on the ring.  Chairs are then brought in.  GM Ruth Heartless then makes her way out.  She then announces that the contract signing will be happening tonight.  The fans pop and she tells them to shut up and sit down.  They then boo her.  She then announces first the US Champion the Wicked Prophet.  Prophet comes out to boos and chants of “Wicket”.  He threatens to hit a couple of fans but makes his way to the ring without incident.  He comes in and shakes hands with Ruth and sits down.  Next, the music changes and the fans explode when the World Champion Texas Wildfire comes out.  The noise is so loud that Ruth and WP cover their ears in annoyance.  Wildfire gets into the ring and climbs the turnbuckle holding his title high.  Ruth stands there tapping her foot impatiently on the mat.  Wildfire eventually joins them at the table and sits down.  Ruth goes over the details of the match (there must be a winner).  Prophet signs the contract first and then TW does.  The two men stand up and stare at each other across the table.  TW turns to leave and Prophet goes to attack him but TW was ready and he drops Prophet after hitting a devastating Bionic Elbow.  Texas Wildfire then picks up Prophet and hits an F-5 right through the table.  “HOLY SHIT” chants ring out from the fans.  Ruth stands there stunned.  TW takes a mic and tells Prophet “I’ll see you in the Hell in a Cell.”  The fans pop as the World Champion walks off.  Medics come from the back and help WP to his feet.  He forces them off and makes his way to the back steaming.

It’s time for our main event.  First, the 5^th Column comes out to booing from the crowd.  Baron von Blood, Oswald Zimmerman and Karl Braun jawjack with the fans before entering the ring.  Next, the lights go out and 3 single lights show up on stage.  The three lights make their way towards the ring and this can only be the 6 Man Tag team champions Wilber Townsend, Leon Teremoto and Anthony Boom.  The three arrive at the ring and place their lanterns on the ring apron.  The camera man zooms in and there are faces on the lanterns…creepy faces.  The lights come up and the champions are wearing their IT-style masks.  Wilber instructed Anthony that he would not be tagged in unless there was double teaming.  Not sure why.  The match begins and the champs take the early advantage and continue to dominate.  4 minutes in, Leon locked Baron up with a bearhug and he almost tapped out but Karl made the save.  There was lots of double and triple teaming that followed.  Leon remained in the ring for an astounding 28 minutes.  In the 29^th minute of the match, Leon planted Baron with a powerbomb and went for the pin but Karl made the save.  Wilber then tagged himself in sending Leon to the outside.  Baron and Karl double teamed Wilber hitting him with a Nuremburg neckbreaker and a thumb to the eye.  Half blinded, Wilber hit Karl with a lifting sideslam.  He tried to make the cover but the bell rang bringing this one to a draw finish.  Oswald Zimmerman hits the ring but he is cut off by Anthony Boom who hits him with the Static Shock.  Leon and Wilber eliminated Baron and Karl out of the ring.  The ref hands them their belts and they ended the show holding their titles high in the middle of the ring.  The fans booed them but they soaked it in.

One more show before the PPV so stay tuned.