Friday, February 1, 2019

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2019 #744 – Phoenix Heat (01/30)


Hello fans and welcome back to another episode of HCW’s Phoenix Heat. 

Well, the proverbial sh!t has hit the fan.  We start off in the office of GM Master Bull.  Master Bull is livid.  He is there with Tacoma’s GM Max McGillicutty.  Bull claims that Apollo is plotting to kill him and tells Max he wants him fired immediately.  Max says that he’s watched it about 10 times and says that he can’t tell if the second guy is Apollo or not.  “Who else uses that stupid-ass catchphrase?”  Bull asks.  Max says he’s not convinced and will bring in HCW’s very own forensic investigator Gardinia Blue to look into it.  Bull agrees.

Pyro goes off and out show is ready to go.  Tonight, we have some great matches lined up for you with our main event seeing the TV title defended by champion Davis ‘the Hoff’ Hoffmeister. 

The bell rings signaling the beginning of our first match.  First, the duo of Angry Jack Lawson and Mean Jack Mason make their way out to booing from the crowd.  They retaliate against the fans by stealing signs and tearing them into many pieces and laugh at everyone who seems sad.  They get in the ring and the booing intensifies.  Next, the music changes and out comes the Ryzing Storm – Travis ‘Dark Storm’ Ryzing and his brother Terra Ryzing.  The fans boo them just a hair less.  This one is a challenge for the Storm’s spot in the tag team line up.  As soon as the Storm hit the ring they got hit, nay, clobbered, nay again, destroyed by the Jack’s.  Angry Jack and Mean Jack annihilated the Storm beating the holy hell out of them.  After 5 minutes, it seemed that the Jack’s were just toying with them.  They took their time and once they had their fun, 17 minutes after the start of the match, Mean Jack hits an overhead belly to belly suplex on Travis and gets the easy 1-2-3.  Angry Jack and Mean Jack get the win and move up in the rankings.  After the match, Mean Jack throws out a challenge to the Mexicali Flyers for their spot.  (17 min)

Tobias and Niven Snake are backstage and run into the Muscles Trio.  After a bit of banter, the Snake Pit challenged the Trio to a match.  Muscles McGuire noticed that it would be 3 to 2.  Niven said they could deal with that and the challenge was accepted.

Next up, ‘Rowdy’ Roderick Rothchild makes his way out with his manager the Ambassador.  The duo are booed as they head to the ring.  Keeping with the heel antics, Roderick grabs signs from the fans and tore them up.  Roderick got in the ring and began showing off irritating the fans all the more.  The music changed and out comes ‘Red Hot’ Lucas Johnston.  The fans explode with cheers as Lucas makes his way down to the ring.  He shakes the fans hands as he makes a lap around the ring.  He gets back in and watches Roderick to make sure nothing funny happens.  The bell rings and kicks this one off.   The Ambassador got involved early on clubbing Lucas with his cane.  The early advantage went to Roderick and he gained more control each time the Ambassador stuck his nose into the match.  After 10 minutes, Lucas began to battle back and stunned Roderick with some quick hitting moves.  The next thing we knew, we were approaching the time limit.  Lucas kicked it into high gear and hit Roderick with a Flying Dropkick twice before attempting a pin.  The Ambassador pulled Roderick out of the ring to break up the pin.  Roderick rolled back in a few moments later and Lucas with the Rothchild Stunner.  Lucas fell down by the ropes but as soon as Roderick went for the pin, Lucas got his foot on the ropes but the Ambassador was quick to knock it off before the ref saw it. The ref counted to 3 and with barely seconds left in the match, Roderick gets the win much to the dismay of the fans.  Roderick laughed all the way to the back.  Lucas followed moments later.  (20 min)

Tommy Lightning is backstage being interviewed and he says that Starbuck Steel is just like all the others – he uses people and then discards them.  Buzz Steel and Biceps Bannerman – they are all rotten to the core.  Tommy says that Starbuck lost the #1 spot not because of his interference but because he’s just not that good.  The Banker, just like many others, is that much better.  Starbuck can go cry over spilled milk as he’s done with them and moving on.

It’s back to the ring for our handicap match.  First, Tobias and Niven Snake make their way out to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  Next, the Muscles Trio come out wearing their rainbow colored bull horns and their boxes of ‘Booty O’s” cereal.  They interact with the fans which gets them over.  They head to the ring and the match begins almost automatically.  The Snake Pit easily controlled the match for the first 7 minutes but then the Muscles got into a rhythm and the numbers eventually took its toll on the Pit and after consecutive triple teaming, Niven gets hit with an overhead suplex by Thorpe at the 22 minute mark and that was it for the Pit.  The Muscles Trio get the win and the fans pop for them.  They celebrate with the fans and then depart.

We head backstage and the Wicked Prophet has made his way down to the oven that is Phoenix.  He calls Jacques Beannot “Jaques Be-Nobody” and a coward for continuing to attack him from behind instead of face to face.  He’s lucky that he is not here in Phoenix tonight or he would have words for him.  Wicked Prophet says that he was not able to make it on to tonight’s card so he is going to go set up a table and sign some autographs for the fans (this got a pop from the crowd).

We head back to the ring for the next match.  First, Bob ‘Powder’ Keg comes out and gets a decent pop from the crowd.  Next, Tommy Lightning comes out and the fans boo him.  He seems put off by it and can’t seem to comprehend why the fans are booing him.  He gets in the ring and tries to attack Bob but the Kegster immediately hits the Powder Keg and goes right for the pin but Tommy kicks out at one.  Tommy tried to lock in an abdominal stretch but Bob nullified it.  Tommy hits the ropes but does nothing.  Bob rears back for a closed fist punch buy Tommy reverses it and goes for a front chancery but Bob reverses it and drops Tommy with a DDT.  Tommy stuns Bob with an elbow smash.  Just then, Starbuck Steel made his way out and Tommy stopped to jawjack with him.  Starbuck kept his distance from the ring and just stood there.  Tommy invited him into the ring but Starbuck stood his ground.  Tommy scoffed at Starbuck and turned around only to be scooped up and planted in the middle of the ring by a powerslam.  Bob hooked the leg and got the 1-2-3.  Bob ‘Powder’ Keg gets the win and the fans pop.  Starbuck smiles and walks away.  Bob made his way to the back and Tommy stewed in the ring a bit before leaving.  (6 min)

The Regulators Mammoth and Mule are backstage talking about Mammoth’s upcoming shot at the TV title tonight.  Mammoth says that he has this on in the bag and the Regulators will once again have gold among them.  Mule says that if he wants, he will be in his partner’s corner.  Mammoth says he’s got this and thanks his partner for having his back. 

We head to the ring for the next match and over the loudspeakers blares “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYONE” and out comes the evil vampire bot Dr. Red Fang.  Fang makes his way down to the ring and grabs a sign from a fan but instead of tearing it up with his hands, he starts taking bites out of it and then hands it back.  He gets in the ring snarling and growling at the fans but as soon as the familiar ringing of the bell sounds, we know that the King of Cones Magnum Kone is coming. The fans pop and the ice cream man turned wrestler makes his way down to the ring distributing treats to the kids at ringside.  He is in the process of completing this when Fang attacks him from behind.  The two men brawled around the ring and finally took the action back to the squared circle.  The two fought tooth and nail and it was apparent that pins and submissions were not really what they were after.  Fang would take the lead a few times but the King of Cones was right there with him and later on, took over control of the match.   18 minutes in, Magnum hits the Popsicle (piledriver) and goes for the first pin of the night.  Fang gets his foot on the ropes.  Fang tries for a Transylvania Piledriver of his own but Magnum nullifies it.  In the last few seconds of the match, Fang hits the skull crusher but the bell rings before he could attempt a cover.  This one goes to a draw finish but neither man were done.  The two then fought all the way to the back.  (20 min draw).  The referee had to bring the portable ice cream truck to the back with him.

TV Champion Davis Hoffmeister says that Regulator Mammoth is a tough competitor but when it comes to a tough individual, none can compare to the Hoff.  He says he’ll give it his all tonight and says he plans to send the fans home happy.

It’s time for our Main Event.  First, the Regulators Mammoth and Mule make their way out to a small pop from the crowd.  Mammoth enters the ring and Mule goes to sit at commentary.  Next, the music changes and the fans explode as the TV Champion Davis Hoffmeister makes his way out.  He high fives with some of the fans as he make his way down to the ring.  He takes a lap around before entering.  Once in the ring, he climbs the turnbuckle holding his title high as the fans applaud.  He jumps down and hands the title to the ref.  The bell then rings.  The match was pretty close throughout its run but the champ was clearly in control of the majority of it.  Things got a little dicey for Davis when Mammoth hit a Regulator Smash and Davis barely kicked out at the last possible moment.  Davis would then battle back hitting a roundhouse kick.   Mammoth hit an inverted superplex but Davis bodyslammed him hard in the middle of the ring.  Davis was on his feet first and as Mammoth got up, Davis dropped him with a piledriver.  He made the cover and got the 1-2-3.  The fans pop as Davis retains his title.  Davis went over and helped Mammoth to his feet and shook hands.  Mammoth then left leaving Davis in the ring to celebrate with the fans as the show comes to an end.

That is all for now.  Our Reigning Royalty PPV is just a few short weeks away.  Stay tuned.

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