Saturday, June 14, 2014

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 06.03


Hello fans and welcome back to our latest installment of the HWF/CSWA wrestling newsletter.  Today’s news comes from sunny Orlando, FL.  The shows begins with Hulk Hogan coming out and the booing is almost deafening.   Hogan tells the fans to shut up right then and there or the show would be cancelled and they would all be sent home without any refunds.  It took a minute but he was finally able to speak again.  “The Hulkster’s word is LAW and what I say goes.  We already had one member lose the fight or fired match and we DON’T wish him best in his future endeavors.”  Hogan begins to laugh maniacally and as the fans begin to boo him again, he gives them a nasty look.  “I have the right to make whatever changes I want and today’s ‘fight or fired’ match will actually be a tag team match.  There has been some bad blood between Titus O’Neil and Darren Young but for this match, they must work together or both will be fired.  Their opponents today will be none other than 3MB members Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre and May the best team win.  With that, let’s start the show.”  The fans finally had something to cheer.

 

The show begins with Bran-Don-Goh vs Dirk Devon in a rematch for the European title.  This was a rematch from Wrestlemania where Bran-Don-Goh, after losing the 3 way battle for the Elitist title, miraculously defeated the Pick to win the European title.  (Word has it B was in the gym for the entire month of May getting himself prepared for his first title defense.)  The first fall goes to Dirk after hitting the bass body avalanche at the 20 minute mark.  The second fall immediately goes to Bran-Don-Goh who locks in a stepover toe hold facelock and gets Dirk to tap out 30 seconds in.  This means we go to sudden death.  Hogan comes out and makes this fall an ECW rules match.  The winner will be the champion.

 

Bran-Don-Goh executes a LEAPFROG BODY GUILLOTINE....

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon attempts to defend against LEAPFROG BODY GUILLOTINE but is unsuccessful.

 

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Bran-Don-Goh executes a Golf Clubs to gonads AND DANGO SUPLEX SLAM....

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon neutralizes Golf Clubs to gonads AND DANGO SUPLEX SLAM.

 

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Dirk "The Pick" Devon executes a Bass Body Avalanche....

 

Bran-Don-Goh absorbs the punishment.

 

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Dirk "The Pick" Devon executes a Bass Body Avalanche....

 

Bran-Don-Goh attempts to defend against Bass Body Avalanche but is unsuccessful.

 

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Bran-Don-Goh executes a COOKIE SHEET SMASH - DRAW BLOOD....

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon reverses COOKIE SHEET - DRAW BLOOD!

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon executes a The Fender Five-Arm....

 

Bran-Don-Goh attempts to defend against The Fender Five-Arm but is unsuccessful.

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon is attempting a pin!!!  1...2...

Bran-Don-Goh kicks out of the pin!

 

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Bran-Don-Goh executes a THE 'SAID SO' STUNNER....

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon executes a The Pearl Drum Drop....

 

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Bran-Don-Goh executes a DANGO SUPLEX SLAM....

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon executes a The Pearl Drum Drop....

 

Bran-Don-Goh is attempting a pin!!!  1...2...

Dirk "The Pick" Devon kicks out of the pin!

 

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Bran-Don-Goh executes a THE 'SAID SO' STUNNER....

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon attempts to defend against THE 'SAID SO' STUNNER but is unsuccessful.

 

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Bran-Don-Goh executes a LEAPFROG BODY GUILLOTINE....

 

Dirk is up and nails a devastating DDT on a chair knocking Bran-Don-Goh unconscious.  Dirk drapes B over his shoulder and makes his way into the audience and up to an Eagles nest (balcony).

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon executes a Throw Opponent off Eagle’s Nest....Bran-Don-Goh goes crashing to the floor.  Dirk quickly climbs down.

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon is attempting a pin!!!  1...2...3

 

Bran-Don-Goh was pinned by Dirk "The Pick" Devon!!!

 

Dirk "The Pick" Devon wins with a Throw Opponent off Eagles's Nest over Bran-Don-Goh!!!  Dirk has just regained the European title.

 

 

What an incredible start to today’s event.  Dirk Devon now holds two titles – the European title and ½ of the tag team titles with partner “The Axe”.

 

The next match is our ‘Fight or Fired’ match between Darren Young/Titus O’Neil and Jinder Mahal & Drew McIntyre.  The team of O’Neil and Young would not get on the same page and the 3MB members took advantage of it.  Titus refused to let Young into the ring for the entire match.  At the end, Drew locks in the Aberdeen armbar and with Titus in the ring screaming, Darren drops off the ring and walks away.  Titus ends up getting pinned after letting his shoulders rest for 1 second too long on the mat.  Both Young and O’Neil are out.

 

The Omegatron comes on and we see Reid Rothchild who appears to have recovered very quickly.  Reid is pumping weights.  He mumbles “Psycho Jack” and then lets the weights crash down.  He turns to the camera.  “Psycho Jack, you nearly ended my career and my life.  I know you were paid to do a job and for that I don’t fault you BUT I will deal with you in the future.  I can promise you that.  Now, as for the person who paid to take me out, that is a different story.  I will find out and once I do, I will exact my revenge as only “The Elitist” can.  I will be back next week live at the event and I will address this in front of you, the fans and together, we will be victorious.”  Ravishing Raquel then stepped in front of the camera and took the mic from Reid.

 

“Cactus Jackie, you call ME out?  I don’t know who you think you are but I do not back down from a challenge.  I accept and beg you not to slack off.  I want you at your best.  That way, when I defeat you, and I will, we will know who is just another victim and who is…simply Ravishing.”  She smiled and winked at the camera before it went dark.

 

Our next match on the card is Rockstar Spud taking on Zack Ryder.  This one went 17 minutes and just like at the last time, Spud cheated for 16 of those minutes.  The camera cuts to the audience where we see some commotion going on.  Hey, wait a second, it’s that guy…the Caped Crusader.  The Crusader hits the ring and quickly scrambles up to the top rope and dazzles the crowd with a stunning high-flying dropkick to the face of Rockstar Spud and he drops him like a ton of bricks.  The security guards swam into the ring and for a few moments, the Caped Crusader manages to slip in and out of their arms like a slippery stick of butter; much to the delight of the fans!  It eventually takes 4 guards to pin him down and restrain him, each guard holding a hand or a foot.  As he is being carried off, his body flailing around trying to break free of their grasp, the crowd, amazingly, begins to cheer him!  He is taken to the back where he is about to be handcuffed and escorted away by police (and photographed so as to be banned from all future shows).  Suddenly, Donnie B intervenes, and, after a few quiet words with an officer, the police depart and the Caped Crusader is left alone with the owner.

 

Donnie B thinks to himself: What if the "Caped Crusader" were offered a small contract, just a little something to retain his services so that he could be used as a "Force For Good" within the federation?  Perhaps he could even become the "secret weapon" of all the Heroes of the federation... to be used to pester and annoy all the cheaters of the federation (and maybe an occasional jab to GM Hulk Hogan to keep him on his toes)  to give them a taste of their own medicine!  And maybe, with a little training, he could even get into the squared circle himself one day... Sure, he is pretty skinny and not very intimidating in those tights, but man, he is really quick on his feet!  He could probably outrun, outmaneuver, and just flat out outlast all of these heavier dudes in the ring quite easily... if he can just keep a safe distance from them.  If he can last long enough in a match to wear down his opponents, he does have within himself the strength and the wherewithal to throw one really powerful punch: a lightning fast jab to the kisser that can bring down even the most formidable foe - the Wham!Bam!Pow!

 

Donnie B turns to the Caped Crusader and simply asks “Is this something you want to do?  Are you prepared for the fallout?”  The Caped Crusader stands tall and simply says “Yes.  I’m ready for anything”.  Donnie B shakes his hand and welcomes him to the roster.  We’ll be curious to see what Hogan has to say about this.

 

The A-Team make their way out with their 6 man titles in tow.  Aries gloats on how great they are.  Del Rio talks down the Super Warrior and Antonio Cesaro makes fun of Bray Wyatt.  Cesaro says that Wyatt’s Warriors will get their match at the Great American Bash but for now, they plan on coasting.   This brings out 719 Cartel members Rey Rey and VamChango.  Senor Vampiro states that if the A-team need to see some action, the Cartel is here and ready to fight.  Del Rio says he is sick of people and their damn sense of entitlement.  Aries says to just bring it to the ring and they will teach the Cartel exactly what they’ll teach Wyatt’s Warriors…Their place.

 

The first fall went 51 minutes and El Chango picked up the win after hitting a shooting star press.  However, the belts do not change hands unless there are two of 3 falls within a 60 minute time limit.  The next 9 minutes were controlled by the Cartel but there just wasn’t enough time on the clock to get it done.  The match ends in a time limit draw and the A-Team retains.

 

We cut to a vignette showing Bray Wyatt sitting in a rocking chair and the only light comes from a candle he is holding.  “You know Sister Abigail, they say Bray Wyatt is crazy.  They say he’s insane.  Well, they are partially right.  I am here to bring the Truth to the CSWA and the HWF by any means necessary.  Wyatt’s Warriors will deal with the A-Team soon enough but for now (a crow screeches in the background), I am content…except for one thing.  My mama told me if you’re gonna shoot for the stars, you may as well go all the way.  I’m gonna take mama’s advice.  Undertaker, you are the biggest and baddest dog in this park.  Well, this dog wants a go.  I challenge you to a match for the world title.  Once we meet, the only thing that will be for certain, is that I will have the whole world…in my hands.”  He begins to laugh uncontrollably until the candle flame goes out.

 

Our main event is Dolph Ziggler taking on Roman Reigns for the HWF Intercontinental title.  In a very surprising move, Dolph manages to get Roman locked in a sleeperhold and gets him to tap out at the 8 minute mark.  The battle continues and Dolph manages to lock in the sleeperhold again right at the 8 minute mark and Roman passes out.  The ref counts to 3 and then awards the match and the Intercontinental title to Dolph Ziggler.

 

That is all for now.  Stay tuned as we continue the tour of Florida.  More to come.

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