From the desk..no wait...the ground of N
2009 has been nothing short of hell. Unappreciative fans, horrible wrestlers, spectacularly awesome working conditions, and now the incident with the certifiably insane Perry Saturn and his godforsaken Mop.
It is enough to drive a man to the brink...and beyond.
For you see, I have been stretched to well past the breaking point. The abyss is before me. Now, I must take steps to face it and come out to the other side
Perhaps...it is time to live up to my namesake. And truly unleash darkness upon all who have opposed me.
Especially you, Donnie B. Especially You.
You'll hear from me soon...and the time for laughter is over.....
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Well, as most of us know, the Negronomicon is full of hot air. We know he is under contract and unless he wins the powerball jackpot, he will have to do as we say. This reporter still can’t believe that the Negronomicon “stole” Moppy from Saturn and used it to clean the floor. All I can say is that he got (and will continue to get) what’s coming to him.
Donnie B (after reading the letter since he had to sign for it) had this to say:
“You know N, you can try to talk the big game but we all know you are no better than the Mulkey’s (Randy or Bill – 80’s jobbers). You tried your hand at running a federation but we saw how well you handled that and the fact that I had to bail you out. This will be your epitath: Striving but never succeeding. I will personally guarantee the wrestling world that they will NEVER have to deal with your b/s ever again. You say that you have been stretched beyond the breaking point. This much I can tell you. You haven’t even begun to experience a breaking point. The wrestlers, management and especially the fans want to see you get what is coming to you. It is inevitable. You must face Darth Vader again. Well, maybe not Darth Vader but your next opponent will be one who is familiar with the abyss. He has gone to the other side and has come back resurrected. Your next opponent will be the Super Warrior. Have a nice day.”
When the Super Warrior was informed that he would get to hand Negronomicon an ass-whupping, he seemed pleased. “Negronomicon, you talk of the abyss. I KNOW the abyss and if you are so intent on facing it, you will never survive. The abyss will swallow you whole. Only those pure will be allowed to traverse there and back…one such as I. You will never make it. Survive…if I let you.
The match started off with Super Warrior hitting the Super Powerslam and nearly getting a 3 count. After a few minutes of beating on the Negronomicon, SW tossed N to the outside. N took his time and as the count neared 10, he decided to just walk away. The bell rang and Super Warrior won the match by Countout. This brought out GM William Regal. Regal stated that SW didn’t get enough time beating down on the low-life tyrant so he demanded the match be restarted. Super Warrior then got his fill of the Negronomicon by going to 25 minutes. Both men tossed each other out of the ring numerous times but they always made it back in before the 10 count. Finally, at the 25 minute mark, SW hit Negronomicon with a huge power punch and made the cover to get the 1-2-3. Super Warrior had his hand raised in victory.
After SW left the ring, someone ran in from the audience and started to beat down the Negronomicon. It was none other than Perry Saturn. I guess he still had not gotten the amount of revenge he wanted out of N’s hide. He beat him down again but out of nowhere, N started to battle back and delivered a nasty eye rake to Saturn. N then went out of the ring, and pulled out a mop from under the ring. He then broke the mop over the head of Saturn. Saturn, seeing the broken mop (and mistaking it for Moppy), ceases his attack, gathers up the mop and runs from the ring.
More as we get it.
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