Thursday, August 29, 2019

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2019 #792 – Phoenix Heat (08/28)


Hello fans and welcome to another installment of HCW’s Phoenix Heat.  We are only a few days away from our PPV Reign of Champions.  As was noted on the last Tacoma newsletter, HCW will have Saturday Night Showdown – taking place in Olympia, WA before heading up to Tacoma for the PPV on Sunday.  Tonight is the ‘go home’ show for the Phoenix roster with everyone trying to get their digs in before things come to a head. 


The show begins back in the office of GM Ruth Heartless.  She is talking on the phone.  “I told you I would get it figured out.  No, it’s not happening tomorrow.  Just be patient.”  She hands up the phone.  “Now, where were we?”  The camera pans and we see ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo.  Before Gumbo could speak, the phone rings again.   “One moment please” she says holding up a hand.  She answers the phone.  Gumbo stands up, takes the phone out of her hand and hangs it up.  “HOW DARE YOU...” Ruth begins but Rad holds up his hand silencing her.  “You asked me here…and now you’ve picked up that phone for the SEVENTH time.  Tell me what you want so I can leave.”  Ruth stews for a moment before regaining her composure.  “You are part of the co-Main event.  I want to make sure that you are ready and that we see a match of the year out of you.”  Gumbo laughs.  “Me and the Sheik in a Match of the Year?  Listen, Sheik doesn’t like me and I don’t like him.  This, what did he call it, Persian Death Match, is not going to be some wrestling spectacular; it is going to be two people beating the hell out of each other.  Sheik is going to suffer from what we call ‘short timers syndrome’ and he will disappear just as fast as he showed up.”  Ruth stands. “If you’re done rambling, you have a match tonight.”  Gumbo looks perplexed.  “What are you talking about?  There is nothing on my app” (he holds up his phone).  “Oops, looks like I forgot to tell you.  You’re in a match tonight and you’d better go get ready.”  Ruth smiles evilly as Rad leaves.


Pyro goes off and our show is ready to begin.  Pyro and smoke fill the stage as spotlights zip across the arena.  First, Otto Ruthless shows up and is booed heavily.  He flips off the fans as he makes his way down to the ring.  He swipes some “Wicked Prophet” signs and tears them up.  Next, the music changes and the fans pop huge for ‘The Hoff’ Davis Hoffmeister.  He high fives a few of the fans and then gets into the ring.  Otto is pacing like a caged animal.  Otto goes right on the offensive and for the first 3 minutes of the match, he was running solid but then Davis took over and controlled the pace of the match.  There was a slight distraction when the US Champion’s photo flashed up on the Omegatron and Otto got monkey flipped.  Just as Davis was going for the pin (ref counted 1…2…), the Banker rushed in from the crowd and attacked Davis.  The ref rang the bell disqualifying Otto and awarding the match to Davis via DQ.  Davis dropped the Banker with a stiff shot and then dropkicked Otto out of the ring.  Davis and the Banker then brawled all the way to the back.  (9 min)


Back in the interview area, Tommy Lighting is packing.  “Killa Pops…you are calling ME out?  YOU are calling ME out?  Come on man.  Here I thought you were cool but you are nothing more than some limelight hog.  Hell, you can’t even beat a big butterfly (referring to the Big Cocoon).  But, since you want a match at the showdown, I’d be happy to oblige and send you back to that stinkpit called the ‘Tacoma Aroma’ with your tail tucked between your legs.  Ha ha ha.”  Tommy walks off


We head to the ring for our next match.  First, we hear “Ice Dagger Baby” begin to play and the fans groan in unison as Ice Dagger comes out to his horrible music.  He makes his way down and into the ring amid the booing from the fans.  Next, we hear the familiar bell chime and out comes ‘the King of Cones’ Magnum Kone. Magnum begins handing out ice cream to the kids at ringside as he makes his way around the ring.  Once Magnum completed his run, he entered the ring but before the match could begin, the ref puts his hand to his ear straining to listen what is coming across his earpiece and then rushes to the back.  Magnum and ID look at each other with utter confusion.  Just then, the Omegatron lights back up with split screens.  On one side is Magnum and Ice Dagger and the other is a cameraman rushing to the back right behind the referee.  We get to the commotion and see El Chango and Col. Flagg tearing up the backstage and hurling it at each other.  Finally, Ruth arrives with the police and directs them to arrest El Chango as “he was the one who started this” (everyone else knows it was Flagg).   Just as El Chango is being handcuffed, Flagg rushes over one final time and smacks El Chango once more.  Someone in the back yelled “assault, assault” but the police didn’t do anything except verbally admonish Flagg before dumping El Chango in the squad car and driving away.  Ruth breaks everything up but looks at the camera and sees Magnum and Ice Dagger still in the ring.  “You two can leave.  We’ll reschedule your match for the showdown.”  Magnum goes to leave but Ice Dagger attacks him from behind but Magnum is quick to his feet and hurls Ice Dagger out of the ring.  Dagger leaves and Magnum interacts with the fans before departing.  (no contest)


Wilber and team show up.  Wilber says to warm them up, Leon and Anthony are in a tag match tonight with his former ‘family’ the Hubers.  Wilber adds that the first of many tests begin tonight as they continue their quest for the 6 man tag team titles.  “Follow the Buzzards boys.  They will lead you to victory.”


Our next match is ready to get underway.  First, the Axe comes out to some major booing from the fans.  He flips them off calling them ‘sellouts’.  He gets in the ring and continues to taunt the fans.  Next, the loudspeaker blares with “Gumbo 7:30 means its suppa time, bitch” and out comes ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo to a pretty substantial pop from the crowd.  He makes his way to the ring but Axe, impatient, rushes out to meet him.  The two begin to brawl and Axe took the advantage early after introducing Gumbo into the steel steps.  He rolled him into the ring and continued the onslaught but Gumbo steadily fought back much to Axe’s dismay.  Axe kept looking at the Omegatron waiting for a Jack Lumber promo to distract him but none came (and THAT was the distraction).  Gumbo used that confusion and trapped Axe in the New Orleans Crab and Axe had no choice but to tap out or risk further damage.  Axe’s hand hit the mat in rapid succession and the ref called for the bell awarding the match to Gumbo via submission.  Axe rolled out of the ring and stormed to the back.  Gumbo took a mic “Sheik, you saw that.  This Persian Death match is not going to be the end for me but for you for when I break you, I will (and the fans yelled in unison) MAKE YOU HUMBLE!”  Gumbo drops the mic and leaves.  (12 min)


The police only went a block or so before stopping the car and letting El Chango out.  They let him know that Ruth had some dastardly plan being concocted and they felt it was best to get him out of there before that powder keg blew.  The police then posed for pictures with El Chango and got some autographs for their “kids” (yeah right).


The next match is ready and begins with all 3 members of the Huber Clan (Butch, Ferb and ‘Mountain Man’ Junior Huber).  They get to the ring and the ref asks which two are wrestling and Ferb says it’s him and Junior.  The ref then directs Butch to stand off to the side or risk being ejected.  Next, the lights go out and 3 single lanterns drift towards the ring.  As they got to the ring, the lights came up and Wilber was there in his creepy mask along with Anthony and Leon (not wearing masks).  Leon rushed the ring only to get scooped up by Junior and then hurled over the top rope to the floor.   Wilber removed his mask and rolled his eyes.  Wilber tells his team that Anthony is starting this one off.  Right off the bat, Anthony nullified a spinning side slam from Ferb who then tagged Junior in.  Anthony went for a reverse cradle but Junior nullified it.  Anthony hit the tilt a whirl arm drag twice on Junior.  Wilber directs Leon to join in for double teaming.  Once it was done, Boom hit another tilt a whirl arm drag on Junior and he went for the pin and got it!  The team of Anthony and Leon secure an all-important win just before their match for the 6 man titles.  Wilber smiled and said “we’re ready” and began to laugh maniacally. (6 min)


Backstage, the #1 contender to the Ladies Title is visiting people and she is interrupted by Leslie Grimes.  Leslie says that Hayley has something she wants and that is a main event match at a PPV.  Leslie says she is challenging Hayley for her spot right now.  Hayley accepts and says they can head to the ring.


It’s time for our main event.  First, out comes Leslie Grimes to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  A few fans tried to cheer for her but changed their tune when Leslie insulted them.   Next, out comes Hayley Hailstone and she is dressed in her street clothes.  Leslie complains to the ref but Hayley gets on the mic and says that she did not come to Phoenix expecting to wrestle so “street clothes it is”.  The ref shrugged allowing it and started the match.   For someone who was not “prepared”, Hayley surely dominated the match.  4 minutes in, Hayley hit Leslie with a suicide dive to the floor that almost ended up in a count out but Leslie made it back in just in time.   A few minutes later, Leslie connected with a DDT and a 2 count.  Leslie tried to follow it up with a moonsault but Hayley moved and hit an Old School Expulsion slam and got a near fall.  For the next 10 minutes, both women were all over the place but neither attempted a pin until Hayley connected with another Expulsion slam.  Another 8 minutes passed with action keeping everyone glued to the edges of their seats.   Hayley hits a reverse lifting STO but only gets a 1 count.  Hayley neutralizes a DDT attempt and a few minutes later hits the What the Hail.  She makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  Hayley Hailstone gets the win and secures her spot for the PPV’s main event.  She stands tall as the fans pop and with that, the show comes to an end.


Our Super Showdown is up next so stay tuned.

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