Monday, April 1, 2019

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2019 #759 – Tacoma Thunder (03/31)


Hello fans and welcome back to another installment of HCW’s Tacoma Thunder.  We are 3 weeks away from what is shaping to be one of the biggest PPV’s in HCW’s history.  More and more matches continue to be added to the show and things are looking good.  Tonight’s show starts off with a quick promo from the Wicked Prophet up on the Omegatron:


WP:  “Apollo is scared.  Why else would he act like a cornered animal?  Like I have always said, his tough guy act is a Guise.  He is a varmint.  He should change his name to Opossum Guise.”


Pyro goes off and our first match of the night is ready to go.  First, Vanilla Zombie comes out with her manager “the Singapore Sensation” Matt Preacher to booing from the crowd.  Once in the ring, the music changes and the crowd pops as Hayley Hailstone makes her way out.  She gets into the ring and the match begins pretty quickly.  Hayley was in control for a good portion of the match until ‘Sassy’ Maxine Devito came out.  She provided enough of a distraction that allowed Vanilla (and Preacher to interfere) and get the upper hand.  After Vanilla threw Hayley out of the ring, she and Preacher distracted the ref while Maxine attacked Hayley.  Maxine threw Hayley into the steel steps and then rolled her back into the ring.  Vanilla picked Hayley up and hit the Soul Crusher.  She made the cover and got the 3 count.  Preacher entered the ring and raised Vanilla’s arm in victory.  She then turned and began putting the boots to Hayley and was joined by Maxine.  Music hits and out rushes Tempest Fortune.  She hits the ring and begins clearing house.  First Vanilla and then Maxine are hurled out of the ring.  Tempest helps Hayley to her feet.  Hayley takes the mic and immediately issues a challenge for a tag team match at the PPV against Vanilla and Maxine.  Maxine is quick to accept much to the confusion of Preacher but once Maxine whispered what her plan was, he was on board.  It looks like we have another match set for the PPV.  Tempest and Hayley shake hands and then leave.  (18 min)


We cut to pre-taped comments from the Hardcore Champion Apollo Gyze (who will be defending his title here tonight):


Apollo:  “Well I must admit, I didn’t foresee the false Profit coming away with the win versus that big 7 foot hunk of useless-ness.  I’m a lot of things but a liar isn’t one of them.  With that said, I will give WP a title match of some sort.  To all the fans out there watching around the world, please let WP BE a living testimony that dreams still come true no matter how much of a fan junkie you are.  Think about it; all Profit’s life, he has watched and looked up to the Great wrestling immortals who are much like myself, and now because of his huge effort to annoy the hell out of me, I’m going to kick his a$$ in front of the world via the Omegatron.  Out of all the cans of whoop ass I have dished out in my lifetime, I can definitely say this one will by Holy.  I know…how sacrilegious of me; good thing we’re not in a church which means it’s ok to deliver a Big Bang Theory on you.  I will do the world and my wrestling peers a favor by showing everyone the differences between professional wrestlers and guys like Profit.  Not everyone is meant to be a hardcore champ; it takes a real, mucho alpha male and not some stay at home cookie-baking soccer dad like yourself.  Once I kick this nun’s tail all over the arena, I won’t be apologizing to no one, not even the Pulp!”


**Due to Apollo Gyze’s rather large catholic following, he decided to not use the title of Pope but instead chose to insert a malapropism.


Our next match on the card is 6 man tag team action.  First, the reunited Snake Pit (Tobias, Niven and Leiton Snake) all make their way out to a decent pop from the crowd.  Once in the ring, their music abruptly ends and out comes Tommy Lightning and the Smashers.  They are booed as they make their way down to the ring and Tommy shows the fans what he thinks of them (one finger salute).  Tommy gets on the mic and immediately berates the Snake Pit calling their reuniting a publicity stunt.  Tommy says that he and the Smashers will burn through the competition until the closet champions the Steel Curtain and Biceps Bannerman give them their shot at the titles.  The match begins with Tommy starting off but for whatever reason, he never tagged out.  The Smashers would join him in the ring for double and triple teaming but he never officially tagged out.  The Steel Curtain snuck down and took out the Smashers without the ref seeing it.  Finally, when Tommy went to tag out, his partners were not there.  Confused, he turned around only to eat a running front dropkick from Tobias.  Tobias made the cover and got the easy 1-2-3.  The Snake Pit are victorious in their first match back together as a team.  Tommy rolled out of the ring and looked up just in time to see Biceps Bannerman rushing at him.  Bannerman plowed into Tommy and both crashed into the steel steps.   Back in the ring, the Snake Pit were attacked by the 5th Column but they were successfully turned away.  The Column/Snake Pit feud continues to expand.  (15 min)


Backstage, Nix Anderson is with Larry Morton.  Nix explains why he attacked the Axe.  “On one hand, you have a former World Champion in the Axe and then you have me, the Thrilla of Tacoma (yes I know it doesn’t rhyme) who seem to have nothing going on for the biggest event of the year.  So, as I continue to make my way up the rankings of HCW, why not go after one of the big dogs.  Axe, it’s nothing personal; it’s all business and I can guarantee that the future of HCW is standing right here and the past will be just that…the past. 


Our next match is ready to go.  First, Angry Jack Lawson comes out accompanied by his tag team partner Mean Jack Mason.  They are booed as they make their way down to the ring.  They grab random signs from the fans and tear them to pieces.  Angry Jack enters the ring for his 1:1 matchup.  The music changes and out comes the Axe.  The fans pop for him but he stays on stage.  He motions to the back and out comes his tag team partner Superstar Chic Monroe.  Monroe will be there to ensure Mean Jack does not get involved in the action tonight.  Axe gets into the ring and the fans pop again before the bell sounds starting this one off.   The match was pretty close with Angry Jack’s intensity matching up against the Axe’s power.  The two fought for a whopping 13 minutes before either of them attempted a pin or submission.  At the 14 minute mark, Angry Jack hit Axe with a chokeslam and went for the cover only for Axe to kick out at the very last second.  Jack then went for a forearm smash but it was reversed and Axe slammed Jack hard to the mat.  Jack was slow to get up but once he did, Axe rushed him hitting a shoulder tackle.  Axe went for the cover and just then Mean Jack tried to interfere but was cut off by Chic.  Chic waved a finger and shook his head.  In the ring, the ref counted 1…2…3.  Axe gets the win.  Angry Jack rolls out of the ring and he and Mean Jack make their way to the back.  Axe gets on a mic and tells Nix Anderson that he woke a sleeping dog and now that he’s awake, Nix has his full attention and will accept a match at the PPV.


Backstage, TNT is getting ready for his singles match and he and Scooter J tell the Jacks they officially accept the challenge for the belts at the PPV.  TNT says they have something great in store and hopes the Jacks are ready.  Scooter J looks at the camera and says “Boys, welcome to the big leagues.  You wanted us and now you’re getting us.”


Our next match is ready to go.  First, TNT, one half of the Tag Team champions comes out first to a pop from the crowd.  He gets the fans psyched up but his music is cut off when Shawn ‘Abs of Stone’ Austin comes out.  The fans boo the crap out of him.  “You suck” chants begin ringing throughout the building. Austin flips the fans off and gets into the ring.  He immediately goes after TNT.  Templeton was ready though and controlled the pace of the match.  12 minutes into the match, TNT gets tossed out of the ring.  Waiting in ambush behind the barrier was Austin’s partner Perfect Pecs Stoddard but the fans popped huge before Pecs could ambush TNT.  Pecs turned around to see Maximillian Redbeard and Superquake Ferguson standing behind him.  The two began wailing on him and this caused Austin to take his eye off of TNT.  Templeton gets in the ring but Shawn hits a neckbreaker.  Shawn whips TNT into the corner and hits a punch but TNT comes right out and lifts and presses Austin over his head before slamming him to the mat.  Shawn goes for an inverted DDT but Templeton reverses it and hits a flying dropkick.  He makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  TNT scores the win and the fans pop.  TNT leaves and Austin follows shortly thereafter.  (15 min)


Hardcore Champion Apollo Gyze arrives in the building and he basks in the glow that is the booing from the crowd.  He takes his title out of his bag and drapes it over his shoulder.  He says “Apollo is in the hoooooouse!”  He smiles huge as fans continue their verbal onslaught.  He walks into his dressing room and slams the door behind him.


The next match on the card is ready to begin.   First, Wendell Hammerschmidt makes his way out to booing from the crowd.  He gets in the ring and continues to rile the fans up.  The music changes and getting the loudest pop of the night is Texas Wildfire.  TW makes his way out and each step he takes towards the ring generates more and more volume from the fans.  TW gets into the ring and climbs one of the turnbuckles and pumps his fist into the air.  Wendell attacks him from behind trying to get the advantage but after the first minute, it was no longer a factor.  TW and Wendell were pretty even throughout the match.  TW had called for the leaping DDT but he got distracted when Matches Malone made his way out.  Matches sauntered down towards the ring flicking matchsticks at the fans.  Wildfire turned his attention back to the ring and began peppering Wendell with rapid punches.  Wendell came back and connected with a reverse Frankensteiner.  They were close to the ropes and TW got his foot on the bottom rope but Matches knocked it off and the ref counted to 3.  The match is then awarded to Wendell.  Matches remained on the outside of the ring.  After he recovered, TW grabbed a mic and challenged Malone to a match at the PPV.  Matches motioned that he would accept.   It looks like another match is set for the 3 day extravaganza.  (12 min)


Apollo comes out of his dressing room and makes his way towards the ring.  He is approached by Clarkus Kentus who walks with the champ towards the ring.  Clarkus asks him if he thinks the Wicked Prophet will be a factor in tonight’s match and Apollo stops in his tracks and says “He can try but it won’t do any good.  If he does stick his nose into his match tonight, he will not apologize for what happens next.”


It’s time for our Mani Event.  The loudspeakers blare “I’ve got some bad news for ya” and out comes ‘Bad News’ Marvin Barnes.  He is booed as he makes his way down to the ring.  After he gets in, the music abruptly changes and we hear “APOLLO GYZE DON’T APOLOGIZE” and out comes the Hardcore Champion.  Apollo makes his way and the fans boo even heavier.  Apollo gets into the ring and is asked what style rules he wants for the match tonight.  Apollo answers with “ECW Rules” and the fans pop for that.  Apollo looks at them like they are deranged.  Apollo goes right on the offensive and he totally dominated the match.  About 15 minutes into the match, the Wicked Prophet came out and went to sit at commentary.  It didn’t faze Apollo at all.  As the match entered the final minute, Apollo hit the ropes but didn’t’ do anything and he ended up eating a superkick.  The force of the move sent Apollo through the ropes and out to the floor.  Prophet went and stood over him as the bell rang bringing this one to a draw finish.   Prophet picked Apollo up and rolled him back into the ring.  Marvin left the ring and Apollo got to his feet.  He and Prophet had a stare down as the show comes to an end.


Thanks for reading.  Stay tuned as the action continues.


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