Sunday, August 30, 2020

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2020 #857 (8/30/20) – Reign of Champions PPV (3 hour PPV)



Hello fans and welcome to our latest installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter.  Tonight, we are proud to present to you, from a sold out arena (you can still get it on PPV if you order it now) presenting our Pay Per View Reign of Champions.  We are bringing all 8 title matches to you during our 3 hour presentation.  On the show today:

Anytime/Anywhere title defense:  Phat Sol © vs the Masked Banana
Six Man Tag Team Championship:  Wilber Townsend, Talon McFrost and Otto Ruthless © vs Killa Pops, Superquake Ferguson and Maximillian Redbeard.  Pops has stated if they don’t win, he will leave HCW.
TV Title match:  Texas Wildfire © vs Starbuck Steel
Hardcore title Match:  Madman Mason © vs Biceps Bannerman
US Title match:  ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo w/ Ms. Alexandria © vs the Banker w/ Ruth Heartless
Ladies Championship Match:  Korbi Kong © vs Catalina Harper
World Title Match:  Jack Lumber © vs Dash Woodbrick.  Master Bull is the special guest referee

Pyro goes off setting the show into motion.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out accompanied by Maxine DeVito.  Max says that he is beginning the event with the announcement that Maxine will be given an opportunity as a Co-GM.  The fans boo but he knew it was to be expected.  He tells them that Maxine is not liked by those backstage as well as the fans but she has proven she knows how to book a match.  Maxine gets on the mic and the booing intensifies.  “All I can say is that you haven’t seen anything yet in terms of what I can do behind the scenes.  With me accepting this role, I will step away from active competition in the ring but will return when I’m good and ready.  I’m also announcing that after tonight’s show, we will be taking a week off returning after Labor Day.”  Max and Maxine leave to mixed reactions from the crowd.  They are apparently not happy with Maxine being given any power in the company.

The Omegatron lights up after pyro goes off once again to a taped message from the Masked Banana.

“Phat Sol.   I used to have respect for you but not anymore.  Me and my Banana-maniacs are going to take the match to you and with the power of the BM’s in my corner, we are taking the Anytime/Anywhere title and will reign.  See you in the ring.”

The match begins with that all-too-familiar (yet fun) music:


Peach, Pomegranate, Lime Margarita
Green, orange, purple margarita
Salt, rocks, frozen margarita
Hey Margarita!



The Masked Banana comes out and the fans give him a huge pop.  He stops by the Banana Boat (his loyal fans) and shakes hands with them.  He begins his walk to the ring when Phat Sol runs out and blasts him again in the head with the title.  He drags MB to the ring and rolls him in.  He yells at the ref to start the match and then makes the cover.  The ref begins the count 1…2….KICKOUT.  The Masked Banana kicked out and began getting psyched up.  Phat was flabbergasted.  He punched MB once and the Banana began to shake.  Phat punched him a second time; same reaction.  After the third, MB began ‘hulking up’  (see https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=w4D40HI0&id=B56DE044936176800A460BA56C5C30CD605D3B31&thid=OIP.w4D40HI0-UzsWWvXx03FlwAAAA&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fxUobRFUpYGIHT3KQ79%2fgiphy.gif&exph=292&expw=390&q=hulk+hogan+hulking+up+gif&simid=608008485566679758&ck=F5471D8299D14E231EBFC68C8D54272F&selectedindex=3&form=IRPRST&ajaxhist=0&first=1&scenario=ImageBasicHover for what that means).   MB began waving his finger in a “no, no” fashion and began peppering Phat with lefts and rights.

We join the match at the 8 minute mark.

===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

Phat Sol rolled OC.

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

Phat Sol executes a Knee Lift....

The Masked Banana executes a B.A.N.A.N.A.S.....

The Masked Banana straps in the B.A.N.A.N.A.S..
Phat Sol does not submit!


===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

Phat Sol rolled OC.

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

Phat Sol executes a The Phat Phat (brainbuster)....

The Masked Banana executes a YELLOW FEVER....

===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

Phat Sol rolled DC

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

The Masked Banana executes a BANANA HAMMOCK....

Phat Sol attempts to defend against BANANA HAMMOCK but is unsuccessful.

The Masked Banana is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
Phat Sol kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

Phat Sol rolled OC.

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

Phat Sol executes a Forearm Smash....

The Masked Banana executes a BANANA CREAM PIE....

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

Phat Sol rolled OC.

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

Phat Sol executes a Vertical Suplex....

The Masked Banana executes a SUDDENLY BANANAS....

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Phat Sol rolled DC

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

The Masked Banana executes a BANANA CREAM PIE....

Phat Sol attempts to defend against BANANA CREAM PIE but is unsuccessful.

The Masked Banana is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3
Phat Sol was pinned by The Masked Banana!!!


The Masked Banana wins with a BANANA CREAM PIE over Phat Sol!!!

The Masked Banana has done it!  He defeated Phat Sol to become the NEW Anytime/Anywhere Champion.  He takes the title and holds it high.  He points to all the fans and then leaves the ring with his new title.

Backstage, we are with the Six Man Tag Team Champions Wilber Townsend, Otto Ruthless and Talon McFrost.  Wilber keeps it short and simple.  “Tonight, at Reign of Champions,  I'm not just going to defeat Killa Pops, I’m going to drive him out of the business. Then, I'm going to change the world. They won't be able to comprehend my actions, not at first. But I guarantee you this, they will be able to deny me no more. Follow the buzzards.”

Our next match is ready to go.  First, the challengers Killa Pops, Maximillian Redbeard and Superquake Ferguson all make their way out to a pop from the crowd.  The trio head to the ring.  Once there, the lights dim and Wilber and company make their way out.  Each man is holding their third of the six man title and Wilber stands in the middle wearing his creepy Pennywise like mask.  He is trying to psychologically intimidate their challengers.   The champs head to the ring and the closer the got, the brighter the lights became.  Wilber entered the ring and looked directly at Killa Pops and dragged his thumb across his throat.  Wilber and Pops started this off.   The champs controlled the pace of the match but only just barely.  Pops and team really gave them a run for their money.  We join the match at the 15 minute mark.

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Talon McFrost rolled OC.

Killa' Pops rolled OC.

Talon McFrost executes a DRIVING ELBOW DROPS....

Killa' Pops executes a ARM TWIST TO HOOK KICK....

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Talon McFrost rolled DC

Killa' Pops rolled OC.

Killa' Pops executes a WRENCHING HEADLOCK....

Talon McFrost absorbs the punishment.

Killa' Pops tags out to Maximillian  Redbeard

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

Talon McFrost rolled OC.

Maximillian  Redbeard rolled OC.

Talon McFrost executes a SHORT CLOTHESLINE....

Maximillian  Redbeard executes a POWERSLAM....

===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

Talon McFrost rolled DC

Maximillian  Redbeard rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Talon McFrost rolled OC/TT

Maximillian  Redbeard rolled DC

Wilber Townsend,  Talon McFrost,  Otto Ruthless double teaming for 1 rounds.
Wilber Townsend is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Wilber Townsend executes a SCOOP POWERSLAM....

Talon McFrost is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Talon McFrost executes a BACK BODY DROP....

Otto Ruthless is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Otto Ruthless executes a SWINGING NECKBREAKER....

Maximillian  Redbeard absorbs the punishment.

Double teaming ends.

===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

Talon McFrost rolled DC

Maximillian  Redbeard rolled OC.

Maximillian  Redbeard executes a FLYING KNEE SMASH....

Talon McFrost absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 20th minute of the match: =====

Talon McFrost rolled OC/TT

Maximillian  Redbeard rolled OC.

Wilber Townsend,  Talon McFrost,  Otto Ruthless double teaming for 1 rounds.
Wilber Townsend is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Wilber Townsend executes a MOUNTED ELBOW SMASHES....

Talon McFrost is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Talon McFrost executes a VERTICAL SUPLEX....

Otto Ruthless is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Otto Ruthless executes a SWINGING NECKBREAKER....

Maximillian  Redbeard executes a POWERSLAM....

Double teaming ends.

===== In the 21st minute of the match: =====

Talon McFrost rolled OC.

Maximillian  Redbeard rolled DC

Otto Ruthless rushes and takes out Superquake Ferguson dropkicking him off the ring apron.

Talon McFrost executes a THE COLD STONE....

Maximillian  Redbeard absorbs the punishment.

Wilber Townsend rushes across the ring and nails Killa Pops with a flying bodypress taking them both out of the ring.

Talon McFrost is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3
Maximillian  Redbeard was pinned by Talon McFrost!!!


Talon McFrost wins with a THE COLD STONE over Maximillian  Redbeard!!!

Wilber and team retain their belts much to the dismay of the crowd.  Pops sneaks back in with a steel chair and delivers chair shots to each of the champs.  The champs make their way up the ramp and to the back.  Pops stays and interacts with the fans.  The crowd begins a “Thank You Killa Pops” chant and he is visibly moved by the reaction.  He and his tag team partners make their way up to the stage.  Pops shakes hands with Redbeard and Ferguson who leave allowing Pops to soak in the cheers from the fans one last time before he’s gone.

We head backstage for a set of interviews.  First is Starbuck Steel.

“Texas Wildfire…TV champion…former World Champion…US Champion.  You are one of the best in the business.  However, there are a lot of “formers” in there.  Former TV Champion is only a 3 count away.  It’s A-Game time.”

We then cut over to Texas Wildfire.

“There have been many challengers to the many titles I’ve held.  Starbuck Steel is definitely one to bring out the best in me.  Tonight though, I am walking out with my belt intact.  I’m glad you are bringing you’re a-Game; so am I.”

Our next match is ready to go.  First, Starbuck Steel comes out to a nice pop from the crowd.  Fans still hold “Get well Buzz” signs hoping to see the Steel Curtain reunited once again.  Starbuck shakes hands with a few fans and then makes his way to the ring.  After he does his thing in getting the crowd psyched up, the music changes and the fans pop huge as TV Champion Texas Wildfire makes his way out.  He stands on the stage soaking in the pop from the crowd.  He holds the title over his head and makes his way down to the ring.  He gets in and climbs the turnbuckle with his arms raised and the fans respond positively.  He steps down and hands the title to the ref.  He and Starbuck shake hands and the bell rings kicking this one off.   For 10 minutes, the match was practically even with neither man getting a leg up.  Just then, Apollo Gyze comes sauntering out.  He makes his way to the commentary booth and blasts Max, Maxine and all the powers that be for keeping him off the card and depriving him of a paycheck.  Wildfire is temporarily distracted by the rant Apollo was spewing.  Starbuck took advantage of the distraction hitting Wildfire with the Shooting Star Buck.  He went for the pin but Wildfire kicked out at 2.   We join the match at the 15 minute mark.

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Texas Wildfire rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Texas Wildfire rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel executes a HANGMAN DDT....

Texas Wildfire absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Texas Wildfire rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled DC

Texas Wildfire executes a SNAP POWERSLAM....

Starbuck Steel attempts to defend against SNAP POWERSLAM but is unsuccessful

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

Texas Wildfire rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel executes a STIFF UPPERCUT....

Texas Wildfire attempts to defend against STIFF UPPERCUT but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

Texas Wildfire rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled DC

Texas Wildfire executes a SUPERPLEX....

Starbuck Steel reverses SUPERPLEX!
Starbuck Steel executes a OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK....

Texas Wildfire attempts to defend against OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK but is unsuccessful.

Starbuck Steel is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
Texas Wildfire kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

Texas Wildfire rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled OC/TT

Texas Wildfire executes a TURNBUCKLE SMASH....

Starbuck Steel executes a BUCK U (NECKBREAKER)....

===== In the 20th minute of the match: =====

Texas Wildfire rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel executes a SHOOTING STAR BUCK....

Texas Wildfire attempts to defend against SHOOTING STAR BUCK but is unsuccessful.

Starbuck Steel is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3
Texas Wildfire was pinned by Starbuck Steel!!!


Starbuck Steel wins with a SHOOTING STAR BUCK over Texas Wildfire!!!


Starbuck Steel has just won the TV title.  He holds the title high.  Starbuck turns and extends his hand to Texas Wildfire who shakes it much to the delight of the crowd.  Wildfire gets ready to leave when he is attacked from behind by the Banker.  The Banker knocks him out with the (loaded) briefcase.  Starbuck tries to come to his aid but he is attacked by Apollo Gyze with a chair.  Apollo smacks Starbuck across the back three times before giving him a chair shot to the head knocking him out and busting him open.  The Banker then hands Apollo a wad of cash.  Apollo takes it and walks off.  The Banker says that everyone has a price and tonight, he knows Rad Gumbo’s price.  He laughs and leaves the ring.  Texas Wildfire and Starbuck had to be helped to the back.

Backstage, Madman Mason is ranting.  “Biceps Bannerman…you think you’re hardcore?  You are not.  You think you know pain and suffering?  You do not.  Tonight, you have one final chance to run and cower before your world collapses around you.  Tonight, the voices in my head stop and the madness runs wild.  You will be just another victim.”

We head to the ring as the next match is ready to begin.  Biceps Bannerman comes out to a huge pop from the crowd.  He interacts with the fans as he makes his way to the ring.  He gets the fans psyched up and then the music becomes ominous and out comes the crazy man Madman Mason.  Mason begins the slow walk to the ring and the fans boo him all the way.  He enters the ring and it’s announced that the stipulation for this match will be ECW rules.  Mason immediately attacks Bannerman but the match was practically even for the first 15 minutes of the match.  We now join at that time.

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled OC/TT

Biceps Bannerman rolled OC.

Madman Mason executes a OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX....

Biceps Bannerman executes a FULL NELSON LIFT & SLAM....

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled DC

Biceps Bannerman rolled OC.

Biceps Bannerman executes a SPINEBUSTER....

Madman Mason reverses SPINEBUSTER!
Madman Mason executes a BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX....

Biceps Bannerman reverses BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!
Biceps Bannerman executes a KICK TO GUT....

Madman Mason neutralizes KICK TO GUT.

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled OC.

Biceps Bannerman rolled DC

Madman Mason executes a SPINEBUSTER SLAM....

Biceps Bannerman neutralizes SPINEBUSTER SLAM.

===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled OC/TT

Biceps Bannerman rolled DC

Madman Mason executes a BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX....

Biceps Bannerman attempts to defend against BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled DC

Biceps Bannerman rolled OC/TT

Biceps Bannerman executes a Golf Clubs to gonads AND
BICEPS CRUNCH (BEARHUG)....

Madman Mason absorbs the punishment.

Biceps Bannerman straps in the Golf Clubs to gonads AND
BICEPS CRUNCH (BEARHUG).
Madman Mason does not submit!

Biceps Bannerman is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
Madman Mason kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 20th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled DC

Biceps Bannerman rolled OC.

Biceps Bannerman reaches into a bucket and grabs something before he executes an EYE RAKE. With a Handful of sand...

Madman Mason absorbs the punishment.

Biceps Bannerman is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3
Madman Mason was pinned by Biceps Bannerman!!!


Biceps Bannerman wins with an EYE RAKE with a handful of sand over Madman Mason!!!

Biceps Bannerman has just won the Hardcore Title.   The fans pop huge for him but his victory is short lived when the evil vampire Dr. Red Fang snuck in from the crowd and attacked Bannerman with a lead pipe.  Fang then picked Bannerman up (no small feat) and then hit the Vampire Lunge before finishing him off with a Transylvania Piledriver.  Fang picks up the belt and then bends down and wipes his hand in Bannerman’s blood and smears it on the title (well, that needs to be disinfected now).  Fang drops the title on Biceps and cackles before leaving as security rushed the ring.  They had to help Biceps to the back.

We are half the way through the show and we head backstage to the US Champion Rad Gumbo and his manager Ms. Alexandria.  Gumbo starts off “Banker, mon-ami, you tink you’re gonna run up on dis guy?  Tink again.  Yousa in for a world of pain.”  Ms. Alexandria look at him and asks “Why in the hell are you talking like that?”  Gumbo laughs.  “Ah, it’s all in fun.  But in all seriousness, Banker, it’s time for you to close up your teller and head home.  You don’t have what it takes to stay here.  Stick around and you’ll see what an angry Cajun is like.”  He and Ms. Alexandria turn and leave.

The next match is ready to begin.  First, the challenger the Banker comes out with his manager Ruth Heartless carrying a dented briefcase.  They head to the ring.  The Banker then gets on the mic.  “Gumbo, let’s not waste more time with your pandering to these morons.  Just get out here.”  Over the loudspeakers blares “GUMBO 730 MEANS ITS SUPPA TIME, BITCH” and out comes the US Champion ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo and his manager.  They make a straight shot to the ring and then enter.  The Banker puts up his hand and speaks.  “Listen, every man has a price.  You don’t really want that title anymore so I have a proposition for you.  I’ll pay you for it.  Actually, I’ll pay you to lay down and I can cover you for the 1-2-3 and that title is no longer a concern and you’ll be all the richer for it.”  Ruth opens a case revealing $50 bills.  Rad questions if that case is full of cash or if it’s just sitting on bricks.  He moves one of the bills revealing that bricks were indeed under the bills.  “You’re very smart” the Banker says.  He nods to Ruth who hands him another briefcase.  This one is full of cash.  Gumbo looks to the fans who tell him not to do it and then, in a shock to all in attendance and those watching from home, he accepts.  The fans are shocked and begin to boo.  The Banker laughs and then directs Rad to lay down.  The Bell rings and the Banker makes the cover but Rad kicks out at the 2 count. The Fans pop HUGE.  Rad grabs the mic and says “You want this belt, earn it”.  He drops the mic and the two begin brawling.  Both men fought tooth and nail for a solid 18 minutes.  Both men attempted pin falls but we’re able to secure the 3 count.  We join the match at the 19 min mark.

===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

The Banker rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

The Banker executes a ATM FEE ARMBAR....

The Banker straps in the ATM FEE ARMBAR.
"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo does not submit!

===== In the 20th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

The Banker rolled DC

Ms. Alexandria executes a Compute opponents odds of winning....

The Banker reverses Compute opponents odds of winning!
The Banker executes a ATM FEE ARMBAR....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against ATM FEE ARMBAR but is unsuccessful.

The Banker straps in the ATM FEE ARMBAR.
"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo does not submit!

===== In the 21st minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

The Banker rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a ONION TWIST (MUTA LOCK)....

The Banker absorbs the punishment.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo straps in the ONION TWIST (MUTA LOCK).
The Banker does not submit!

===== In the 22nd minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

The Banker rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

The Banker rolled DC

Ms. Alexandria executes a Slap to mouth....

The Banker absorbs the punishment.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
The Banker kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 23rd minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

The Banker rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

The Banker rolled OC.

Ms. Alexandria executes a Distract ref from illegal conduct....

The Banker executes a WITHDRAWL POWERSLAM....

===== In the 24th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

The Banker rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a COTTONMOUTH CLUTCH....

The Banker executes a HURL OUT OF RING....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is on the outside.  The ref begins the count.
1...2...3...4...5...6...
"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo makes it back into the ring at the 6 count.


===== In the 25th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

The Banker rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

The Banker rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

The Banker rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

The Banker rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

The Banker attempts to defend against VOOODOO DRIVER but is unsuccessful.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3
The Banker was pinned by "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo!!!


"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo wins with a VOOODOO DRIVER over The Banker!!!

‘The Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo is victorious in his title defense.  He holds the title high over his head.  Ruth Heartless tries to sneak in to hit Rad with the briefcase by Ms. Alexandria catches her with a spear and Ruth drops the briefcase.  Ms. Alexandria grabs the briefcase and hands it to Rad.  The two celebrate and head to the back.  The Banker recovers and notices that Rad took the briefcase and he and Ruth storm to the back carrying the brick briefcase.

We head backstage for an interview with Drew the Canadian Love Machine and Davis ‘the Hoff’ Hoffmeister.  Drew and Davis say that everything comes to a head.   Tonight, the tag titles are on the line but the tension between the champs has also come to a head.  Davis says all it takes is a little to drive a wedge and then a team combusts.  Drew says that they are giving it their all and we all know what happens with 2 of the biggest fan favorites get together (Mega Powers) and what they can accomplish.

Scooter J and TNT, the Tag Team Champs, state that their opponents are delusional.  There is no rift between the champs and tonight, they hand Drew and Davis a huge loss and nothing will stop them from dominating the tag team scene.  TNT tries to get a word in but SJ walks off.  TNT follows.

The music starts and out comes the challengers Davis ‘the Hoff’ Hoffmeister and Drew the Canadian Love Machine to a HUGE pop from the crowd.  They interact with the fans and begin walking down to the ring.  Just then, the Tag Team Champs Scooter J and TNT run out and attack the challengers before the bell has even rung.  SJ throws Drew into the ringside barrier and TNT throws Davis into the steel steps.  Both men are rolled into the ring and SJ hollers for the bell to ring to start this off.  SJ goes for a pin on Davis but he kicks right out.  The champs had control early but Scooter J’s insistence on staying in the ring infuriated his tag team partner.  We join them now at the 10 minute mark.

===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

ScooterJ rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled OC.

ScooterJ executes a EYE RAKE....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a CORKSCREW PESCADO....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine tags out to Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

ScooterJ rolled DC

Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled OC.

Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a FLYING DROPKICK....

ScooterJ absorbs the punishment.

Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister tags out to Drew the Canadian Love Machine

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

ScooterJ rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled OC/TT

Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister,  Drew the Canadian Love Machine double teaming for 1 rounds.
Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a CLOTHESLINE....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a HANDSTAND HEADSCISSORS....

ScooterJ executes a EYE RAKE....

Double teaming ends.

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

ScooterJ rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled DC

ScooterJ executes a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine reverses BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!
Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a CORKSCREW PESCADO....

ScooterJ absorbs the punishment.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
ScooterJ kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

ScooterJ rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled DC

ScooterJ executes a 10 PUNCHES....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

TNT tries to make the tag to Scooter J but once again, SJ insists on staying in the ring.  TNT finally gets frustrated and shoves SJ and then jumps off the apron and makes his way to the back.  Scooter J is shocked. 

ScooterJ rolled DC

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a HANDSTAND HEADSCISSORS....

ScooterJ attempts to defend against HANDSTAND HEADSCISSORS but is unsuccessful.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3
ScooterJ was pinned by Drew the Canadian Love Machine!!!


Drew the Canadian Love Machine wins with a HANDSTAND HEADSCISSORS over ScooterJ!!!

Davis and Drew have just defeated TNT and Scooter J to become the NEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!  Scooter J rolls out of the ring and makes his way to the back to confront TNT.  Drew and Davis celebrate with the fans before making their way to the back.

We go backstage once again and Catalina Harper is with her clowder of cats.  “Korbi Kong, tonight I get my rematch.  You’ve ducked me long enough.  Tonight, I get my title back and you go back to being the bottom feeder you are.  Once I’m done with you, you won’t be good enough to clean litter boxes.  Enjoy the ride down.  HAHAHAHA”

Also backstage is the Ladies Champion Korbi Kong.  Korbi, a woman of very few words anyway, just had this to say.  “Catalina, dream away.”  She then began the walk towards the ring.

The music hits and out comes Catalina Harper to massive booing from the crowd.  She mostly ignored them and made her way to the ring.  She got in and paced waiting for the champ.  She didn’t have to wait long as Korbi’s music hit and the Ladies Champion makes a straight line for the ring.  She slides under the bottom rope and stares daggers at her opponent.  She turns and climbs the second turnbuckle and holds her title high.  She steps down keeping a wary eye out for her opponent.  She hands the title to the ref and steps back to do some neck and arm stretches.  The bell rings and Catalina charges at her in the corner and splashes Korbi in the corner.  It took a few minutes for the champ to regain her bearings but the damage from Catalina had already been inflicted.   At the 14 minute mark, Catalina hit Korbi with a CAT-astrophic blow and rolled her up (with a handful of tights) to get the 1-2-3.  Catalina Harper has just become the NEW LADIES CHAMPION!   Just then, Violet Valkyrie and Hayley Hailstorm came out and demanded a replay to show the ref what just transpired.  It was very apparent that Catalina cheated to get the win.  This then brought out co-GM Maxine DeVito.  Maxine says that she doesn’t like any of the Ladies down there but what Catalina did was wrong (she actually got a pop for that).  Maxine walks down to the ring and says that the match will restart and if Korbi wins, she will regain the Ladies title.  Oh, and it’s a no DQ match and it starts now.  She sends Violet and Hayley to the back.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled DC

Korbi Kong (f) rolled OC.

Korbi Kong (f) executes a BACKBREAKER....

Catalina Harper (f) absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled DC

Korbi Kong (f) rolled OC.

Korbi Kong (f) executes a DIVING FOREARM TO BACK....

Catalina Harper (f) absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

Korbi Kong (f) rolled OC.

Korbi Kong (f) executes a STIFF FOREARM UPPERCUT....

Maxine slides a chair to Catalina who then smashes it across Korbi’s back.   The fans are irate and begin throwing stuff at Maxine.  She runs up the ramp to get away from the barrage of junk being thrown at her.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a CATALINA CRAB....



Catalina Harper (f) straps in the CATALINA CRAB.
Korbi Kong (f) submits!!!


Catalina Harper (f) wins with a CATALINA CRAB over Korbi Kong (f)!!!

Catalina gets the win again and officially becomes the NEW LADIES CHAMPION.  The fans boo the crap out of her and she smiles with a snide look on her face.  She drops an elbow drop on Korbi’s back to add insult to injury.  She takes her title and heads to the back.  Medics come out and help Korbi to the back.

In the back, Dash Woodbrick is spouting off at the mouth.  “Jack Slumber, you are a low life cretin.  First, you cost the Wicked Prophet the title and now you’ve pissed me off just enough for me to want to kick your ass.  Kicking it is what I do best and before the night is over, that title will be mine.”

World Champion Jack Lumber is also backstage and he laughed at what he heard Dash spout.  “A little dash goes a long way but tonight, Dash Woodbrick will be on the short end of the stick tonight when he leaves empty handed.  I defeated Wicked Prophet and the man with the Pecs and tonight, I defeat YOU.  Bring your best; it won’t be good enough.”

It’s time for our MAIN EVENT.  First, Dash Woodbrick comes out to the loudest boos of the night.  He flips off the fans, especially those in the Lumber Lounge.  He threatened to hit a few of them which only got them more riled up.  He makes his way to the ring but before he can do any showboating, we hear “TIMMMMBERRRR” and out comes the World Champion Jack Lumber.  The fans give him almost the biggest pop of the night.  He makes his way to the ring and enters and Dash jumps out the other side.  Dash begins to complain and the fans begin mocking him.  Dash grabbed one fan by his flannel shirt and Jack was out there to the fans’ rescue faster than a match getting lit.  Jack began peppering Dash with lefts and rights and rolled him back into the ring.  Dash was on his feet and began stomping on Jack as he tried to enter the ring.  The bell finally rang and Dash actually gave Jack a run for his money.  But not for long.  Jack took over control until a missed clothesline got him tangled up in the ropes.  Dash then pointed to the Omegatron and then an image of the Wicked Prophet turned up and Jack didn’t seem distracted by it.  In fact, Jack began laughing and told Dash to turn around.  Up on the Omegatron, the image of Prophet faded out and was replaced by the Masked Banana.  Jack began laughing.  Dash didn’t appreciate it and rushed at Jack but Jack freed himself just in time to catapult Dash over the top rope to the floor.  We now join the match at the 8 min mark.


===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Dash Woodbrick rolled OC.

Jack Lumber executes a ATOMIC DROP....

Dash Woodbrick executes a Throw out of Ring....

Jack Lumber is on the outside.  The ref begins the count.
1...2...3...4...5...6...
Jack Lumber makes it back into the ring at the 6 count.

===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Dash Woodbrick rolled DC

Jack Lumber executes a TIMMMMMBEEERRRRR....

Dash Woodbrick attempts to defend against TIMMMMMBEEERRRRR but is unsuccessful.

Jack Lumber is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
Dash Woodbrick kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Dash Woodbrick rolled OC.

Jack Lumber executes a THE AXE....

Dash Woodbrick executes a Kip Up Evasion & Taunt....

Jack Lumber is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
Dash Woodbrick kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled DC

Dash Woodbrick rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Dash Woodbrick rolled OC.

Jack Lumber executes a CHOP TO CHEST....

Dash Woodbrick executes a Throw out of Ring....

Jack Lumber is on the outside.  The ref begins the count.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...
Jack Lumber makes it back into the ring at the 7 count.

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Dash Woodbrick rolled OC.

Jack Lumber executes a STIFF UPPERCUT....

Dash Woodbrick executes a Hammerlock Powerbomb....

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Dash Woodbrick rolled DC

Jack Lumber executes a KICK TO MIDSECTION....

Dash Woodbrick neutralizes KICK TO MIDSECTION.

===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled OC/TT

Dash Woodbrick rolled OC.

Jack Lumber executes a THE AXE....

Dash Woodbrick executes a High Knee to Face....

Jack Lumber is attempting a pin!!!

1...
Dash Woodbrick kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Dash Woodbrick rolled DC

Jack Lumber executes a STIFF UPPERCUT....

Dash Woodbrick reverses STIFF UPPERCUT!
Dash Woodbrick executes a Chest Stomp....

Jack Lumber attempts to defend against Chest Stomp but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled OC/TT

Dash Woodbrick rolled DC

Jack Lumber executes a THE AXE....

Dash Woodbrick attempts to defend against THE AXE but is unsuccessful.

Jack Lumber is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
Dash Woodbrick kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

Jack Lumber rolled DC

Dash Woodbrick rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Dash Woodbrick rolled DC.  Dash struggles to his feet and attempts to stand but his legs are all wobbly.

Jack Lumber executes a CHOP TO CHEST....

Dash Woodbrick absorbs the punishment and falls to the mat.

Jack Lumber is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3
Dash Woodbrick was pinned by Jack Lumber!!!


Jack Lumber wins with a CHOP TO CHEST over Dash Woodbrick!!!


Jack Lumber has just defeated Dash Woodbrick and he retains his championship.  The show comes to an end with Jack celebrating with the fans and hangs out in the Lumber Lounge.

Before the cameras stop rolling, we head backstage where US Champion Rad Gumbo has set down the briefcase they stole from the Banker.  He walks out of the camera shot.  We then see the Banker sneak back in and he exchanges the briefcase of money with the one with bricks in it (I’m sure he removed all the cash first).  The switch is made and the Banker runs off with his briefcase into a waiting car.  The Banker opens the case and much to his dismay, it is the one with the bricks in it.  He had the cash case all along and now he just gave it to Rad Gumbo.  “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” can be heard emanating from the car as they drive off.

Thanks for reading.  We will be taking a small hiatus before jumping back in.  Stay tuned.