Hello fans and welcome to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter. There is a lot going on so let’s get right to the action.
The
show begins backstage in the office of GM Max McGillicutty. He is diligently working until the Ambassador
and his team of Devastation, Inc. storm in.
The Ambassador tells Max that the 6 Man Champs clearly cheated and
robbed his team of a victory. Max
questions the validity of that statement.
The Ambassador turns on UTube (a blatant copy of THAT video hosting
site) and plays the last few minutes of the match. It is clear that the footage is doctored and
as a ref (not the same one who officiated last weeks’ match) slaps the mat, a
foot is clearly on the bottom rope. Max
tries to call bullshit but the Ambassador says he will sue if they don’t get
another title shot. Just then, the Six
Man Tag Team Champions Biceps Bannerman and the Steel Curtain walk in. Biceps says that the Ambassador and his team
of cronies can’t accept defeat so if they want another shot, they’d be happy to
oblige. Max makes it official and we
have our main event of the evening.
Pyro
goes off and our first match is ready to get underway. First, Derek Deveraux makes his way out to a
nice pop from the crowd. He shakes hands
with the fans and enters the ring. He
walks to the far side and awaits his opponent.
Up on the Omegatron, it lights up with “DON’T CALL ME AL” and Albert
Perez makes his way out and the crowd boos the hell out of him. (Editor’s side note: there was a wrestler in the 80’s named Al
Perez and he was a TON better than this guy).
Perez makes his way down amid the booing from the fans and he flips them
off only inciting them all the more. He
gets in the ring and begins to showboat.
Derek walks over and offers to shake hands only to get pie faced and shoved
to the mat. The bell rings and Derek is
quickly on his feet. Perez held the
advantage for the first 6 minutes of the match but then Derek began making a
comeback. Derek got a near fall after
connecting with the Whiplash but Perez got his foot on the bottom rope. The match continued with Derek holding the
advantage. At the 13 minute mark, Derek
wound up and nailed Albert with a Discus Lariat. He went for the cover and got the 3 count. Derek gets the win and the fans pop for
him. As he’s leaving the ring, Perez
ambushes him and hurls him into the steel steps. Perez then smacked Derek’s head against the
steel post busting him open. Security
rushed down but Albert avoided them and took off laughing. Medics came down to check on Derek but he
made his way to the back under his own volition.
Backstage,
a sneaky Dash Woodbrick slinks up behind Starbuck Steel and knocks him out with
a chair shot to the head. Buzz hears the
commotion and comes running only to be dropped by another chair shot by
Dash. Dash runs off as he hears Biceps
entering the room. Biceps sees his teammates
down calls for medical attention. Looks like the deck may be stacked up against
the champs.
Next
on the card is a shot to see who gets the next title shot at the Ladies
Championship held by Violet Valkyrie.
First, newcomer Penny Hall makes her way out to a mixed reaction from
the crowd. It wasn’t until she stole a
fan’s sign tearing it up did they begin to boo her in earnest. She got
in the ring and paced waiting. Next, we
hear some royal music play and out comes Queen Goldie Locks. Her royal highness comes out wearing her cape
and crown and waves to the fans. They
cheer her on as she makes her way to the ring.
She removes her cape and crown and lays it neatly on one of the announcer’s
tables. She gets in the ring ready for
action.
Penny Hall
(f) charges at Goldie Locks.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Goldie
Locks (f) rolled OC.
Penny Hall
(f) rolled DC
Goldie
Locks (f) executes a LOCK BREAKER....
Penny Hall
(f) absorbs the punishment.
Goldie
Locks (f) straps in the LOCK BREAKER.
Penny
Hall (f) submits!!!
Goldie
Locks (f) wins with a LOCK BREAKER over Penny Hall (f)!!!
And
just like that, this one is over. What
was that…not even 15 seconds? Queen
Goldie makes a statement with this quick win and she is automatically in line
for a shot at the Ladies title next week.
Wow. Total domination.
A
vignette is shown of Dennis Marshall going into a Red Robin (wears his mask and
everything). He orders a 5 Alarm burger
but the staff are confused because they can’t find it anywhere on the menu. Eventually, he realizes it’s the Burnin’ Love
and he profusely apologizes for the mistake.
Everyone gets a good laugh out of it and his meal is even comped. What a guy.
Master
Bull, the Anytime/Anywhere Champion is walking backstage where he gets
blindsided by Tommy Lightning. Tommy
beats Master Bull down and hollers for a ref.
Tommy threw Bull into some boxes.
The ref finally shows up and Tommy goes for the pin only for Bull to
power out in dominating fashion. Bull
fought back and they took the fight to the ring. Tommy would gain the upper hand for a few
minutes but Bull took back over and dominated his challenger. At the 26 minute mark, Bull locked Tommy up
with a Cobra Clutch as just as Tommy was passing out, he dropped him and hooked
the leg getting the 1-2-3. Master Bull
is victorious and retains his title. He
takes his title, waves to the fans and then leaves. Tommy eventually recovers and storms to the
back.
Backstage,
Ladies Champion Violet Valkyrie runs into ‘Sassy’ Maxine DeVito. Violet demands to know where Korbi is. Maxine shrugs her shoulders and walks off but
then starts cackling.
We
head back to the ring but before the match could begin, Casper Wyoming comes
out. He goes into the ring and apologizes
for stopping the show but he needs to have words with Wicked Prophet. Casper calls the former World Champion
out. Prophet makes his way out eventually
and walks down to the ring but doesn’t enter.
He has a mic in hand. “Man was
cast into the lone and dreary wilderness, for millennia we toiled without a
cause or clue. You, Casper Wyoming still
dawdles in that state. From the dust you came, and dust you will remain.” Casper then jumps through the ropes and
crashes onto Wicked Prophet. The two
begin brawling and are briefly separated by security but the two still manage
to continue fighting taking it to the back.
TV
Champion the Banker is backstage with his manager Ruth Heartless. He says that HCW has become a lawless place
and the inmates are running the asylum.
He says he’s being forced to defend the TV title against the biggest
goof in HCW – Maximillian Redbeard. He
can’t understand why, a multi-time champion is being relegated to having to
fight schmucks like him. He promises to
defeat this so-called monster and will continue to reign supreme.
We
head to the ring for our next match.
First, Maximillian Redbeard comes out and he’s looking pretty pissed
off. It’s probably safe to assume he
heard all of the Bankers comments and plans to set him straight. He climbs into the ring by stepping over the
top rope. He grabs a mic and tells the
Banker that he needs to get his scrawny little ass into the ring so he can rip
his head from his shoulders and shove that head where the sun don’t shine. The fans pop.
The Banker comes out and he’s not happy.
He has a mic and says that it seems he’s being forced into a hostile
work environment and no longer feels safe so he’s just going to leave now. GM Max McGillicutty comes out and stands in
the Banker’s way. He tells the Banker to
go to the ring or he will be stripped of the TV title. He tried to complain but it fell on deaf
ears. The Banker and his manager went to
the ring. He handed Ruth his briefcase
and the TV title (even though the ref wanted it). Maximillian kept charging at the Banker who
continued to find safety outside the ring.
Finally, he got into the ring and the match could finally begin. The Banker controlled a good chunk of the
match but then Maximillian began battling back.
We join the match at the 10 minute mark.
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
rolled DC
Maximillian Redbeard rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
The Banker
rolled OC.
Maximillian Redbeard rolled DC
Ruth Heartless executes a Blind opponent with
hairspray....
Maximillian Redbeard attempts to defend against Blind
opponent with hairspray but is unsuccessful.
Maximillian Redbeard is on defense for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
rolled OC.
Maximillian Redbeard rolled DC
The Banker
executes a FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER....
Maximillian Redbeard absorbs the punishment.
Maximillian Redbeard is on defense for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
rolled OC.
Maximillian Redbeard rolled DC (but his eyesight is
returning)
The Banker
executes a REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER....
Maximillian Redbeard reverses REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER!
Maximillian Redbeard executes a ASGARD BODY SLAM....
The Banker
attempts to defend against ASGARD BODY SLAM but is unsuccessful.
Maximillian Redbeard is no longer on defense.
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
rolled OC.
Maximillian Redbeard rolled OC.
The Banker
executes a HURL OUT OF RING....
Maximillian Redbeard is on the outside. The ref begins the count.
1...2...3...
Maximillian Redbeard makes it back into the ring at the 3
count.
Maximillian Redbeard executes a POWERSLAM....
Maximillian Redbeard is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
(Ruth puts the Banker’s
foot on the bottom rope)…3
The
Banker was pinned by Maximillian
Redbeard!!!
Maximillian Redbeard wins with a POWERSLAM over The
Banker!!!
The
ref didn’t see the foot on the bottom rope and declares Maximillian the NEW TV
Champion!!! Ruth is in the ref’s face
immediately and tells him to watch the replay.
Maximillian takes the title and climbs the turnbuckle holding it high as
the fans pop. The ref takes a mic and
says he has to apologize (unlike Apollo Gyze who never does) but the Banker DID
have his foot on the bottom rope. He
says that in good conscious award the title to Redbeard. Maximillian says he has another option. He will give the Banker an immediate rematch
right now. The winner of the match, pin,
submission or countout walks away with the title. Ruth agrees and the match begins anew.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a HURL OUT OF RING....
Maximillian Redbeard attempts to defend against HURL OUT
OF RING but is unsuccessful.
Maximillian Redbeard is on the outside. The ref begins the count.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...
Maximillian Redbeard makes it back into the ring at the 7
count.
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Maximillian Redbeard executes a SCISSOR KICK....
The Banker
executes a TAX AUDIT TURNBUCKLE THRUST....
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER....
Maximillian Redbeard absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Maximillian Redbeard executes a LEG DROP....
The Banker
executes a CREDIT CHECK CHOP....
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a TAX AUDIT TURNBUCKLE THRUST....
Maximillian Redbeard absorbs the punishment.
The
Banker is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Maximillian
Redbeard kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Maximillian Redbeard executes a ASGARD BODY SLAM....
The Banker
absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER....
Maximillian Redbeard reverses FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER!
Maximillian Redbeard executes a HIP TOSS....
The Banker
attempts to defend against HIP TOSS but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
Ruth
Heartless executes a Provide words of wisdom (and smack with the Banker's briefcase)....
Maximillian Redbeard absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
Ruth
Heartless executes a Point out weakness in foe....
Maximillian Redbeard absorbs the punishment.
The
Banker is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Maximillian Redbeard kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
Maximillian Redbeard executes a MAC ATTACK....
The Banker
executes a HURL OUT OF RING....
Maximillian Redbeard is on the outside. The ref begins the count.
1...2...3...4...5...6...
Maximillian Redbeard makes it back into the ring at the 6
count.
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
Maximillian Redbeard executes a MAC ATTACK....
Ruth
Heartless executes a Eye Gouge Foe....
Maximillian Redbeard is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
The
Banker kicks out of the pin!
Maximillian Redbeard is on defense for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a ATM FEE ARMBAR....
Maximillian Redbeard absorbs the punishment.
The
Banker straps in the ATM FEE ARMBAR.
Maximillian Redbeard does not submit!
Maximillian Redbeard is on defense for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a WITHDRAWL POWERSLAM....
Maximillian Redbeard absorbs the punishment.
The
Banker is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Maximillian Redbeard kicks out of the pin!
Maximillian Redbeard is no longer on defense.
=====
In the 14th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER....
Maximillian Redbeard neutralizes FORECLOSURE
FRANKENSTEINER.
=====
In the 15th minute of the match: =====
Ruth
Heartless executes a Eye Gouge Foe....
Maximillian Redbeard absorbs the punishment.
Maximillian Redbeard is on defense for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 16th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER....
Maximillian Redbeard absorbs the punishment.
The
Banker is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Maximillian Redbeard kicks out of the pin!
Maximillian Redbeard is on defense for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 17th minute of the match: =====
Ruth Hearthless smacks Maximillian Redbeard in the
elbow with the briefcase.
The Banker
executes a ATM FEE ARMBAR....
Maximillian Redbeard attempts to defend against ATM FEE
ARMBAR but is unsuccessful.
The
Banker straps in the ATM FEE ARMBAR.
Maximillian Redbeard submits!!!
The Banker wins with a ATM FEE ARMBAR over Maximillian Redbeard!!!
The
Banker wins the match via submission and once again becomes the NEW TV
Champion. He and Ruth bolt out of the
ring before any instant replay can occur and see Ruth’s interference. Redbeard, nursing his arm, slides out of the
ring and makes his way to the back.
Backstage,
Sarona Reiher attacks Hayley Hailstorm beating her down. She stands over Hayley and demands a rematch
as she wants to avenge her loss to Hayley.
Sarona walks away. Medical personnel
attend to Hayley to make sure she’s ok.
It’s
time for our main event. First, the
challengers, Devastation, Inc, make their way out led by the Ambassador. The Ambassador is laughing and points to his
head insinuating he orchestrated the entire attack on the champs. Azrael, Barry Morningstar and Dr. Red Fang
all enter the ring. They await their
challengers. Music hits and out comes
Biceps Bannerman…alone. Biceps says he knows
that the Ambassador orchestrated the entire attack and says he will defend the
titles alone. Before he can head to the
ring, the music changes and out comes the Steel Curtain. Buzz and Starbuck are wearing blood soaked
bandages on their heads. Starbuck says
they got their brother’s back and bleeding or not, this team sticks
together. Buzz says “Let’s kick some ass”
and the trio head to the ring.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Dr. Red
Fang rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Dr. Red
Fang rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Biceps
Bannerman rolled OC.
Dr. Red
Fang rolled OC.
Biceps
Bannerman executes a BICEPS CRUNCH (BEARHUG)....
Dr. Red
Fang executes a AIRPLANE SPIN....
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Dr. Red
Fang rolled OC.
Dr. Red
Fang executes a SPIDER WEB LEGLOCK....
Biceps
Bannerman reverses SPIDER WEB LEGLOCK!
Biceps
Bannerman executes a FULL NELSON LIFT & SLAM....
Dr. Red
Fang attempts to defend against FULL NELSON LIFT & SLAM but is
unsuccessful.
Biceps
Bannerman tags out to Starbuck Steel
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Starbuck
Steel rolled OC.
Dr. Red
Fang rolled OC.
Starbuck
Steel executes a SMALL PACKAGE HOOKING TIGHTS....
Dr. Red
Fang executes a SHOULDER SMASH....
Starbuck
Steel is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Dr. Red
Fang kicks out of the pin!
Starbuck
Steel bandage starts to bleed through and tags out to Biceps Bannerman
Dr. Red
Fang tags out to Barry Morningstar
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Barry
Morningstar rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Biceps
Bannerman rolled OC.
Barry
Morningstar rolled OC.
Biceps
Bannerman executes a CLOTHESLINE....
Barry
Morningstar executes a FRONT CHANCERY....
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Barry
Morningstar rolled OC/TT
Barry
Morningstar, Dr. Red Fang double teaming
for 1 rounds.
Barry
Morningstar is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Barry
Morningstar executes a SIDE HEADLOCK....
Dr. Red
Fang is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Dr. Red
Fang executes a SPIDER WEB LEGLOCK....
Double
teaming ends.
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Biceps
Bannerman rolled OC.
Barry
Morningstar rolled DC
Biceps
Bannerman executes a KICK TO GUT....
Barry
Morningstar reverses KICK TO GUT!
Barry
Morningstar executes a LEG DROP....
Biceps
Bannerman neutralizes LEG DROP.
Biceps
Bannerman tags out to Starbuck Steel
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Starbuck
Steel rolled DC
Barry
Morningstar rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Starbuck
Steel rolled OC.
Barry
Morningstar rolled OC.
Starbuck
Steel executes a STARPLEX....
The
Ambassador executes a Trip-up foe at ropes....
Starbuck
Steel is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Barry
Morningstar kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
Starbuck
Steel rolled OC.
Barry Morningstar
rolled DC
Starbuck
Steel executes a OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK....
Barry
Morningstar absorbs the punishment.
Starbuck
Steel tags out to Buzz Steel
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
Buzz Steel
rolled DC
Barry
Morningstar rolled OC.
Barry
Morningstar executes a FRONT CHANCERY....
Buzz Steel
neutralizes FRONT CHANCERY.
Buzz Steel’s
bandage starts to bleed through and tags out to Biceps Bannerman
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Barry
Morningstar rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Barry
Morningstar rolled OC.
Barry
Morningstar executes a THROW OUT OF RING....
Biceps
Bannerman attempts to defend against THROW OUT OF RING but is unsuccessful.
Biceps
Bannerman is on the outside. The ref
begins the count.
1...2...3...4...5...6...
Biceps
Bannerman makes it back into the ring at the 6 count.
Barry
Morningstar tags out to Dr. Red Fang
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
Biceps
Bannerman rolled OC.
Dr. Red
Fang rolled DC
Biceps
Bannerman executes a BICEPS CRUNCH (BEARHUG)....
Dr. Red
Fang neutralizes BICEPS CRUNCH (BEARHUG).
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Dr. Red
Fang rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Dr. Red
Fang rolled OC.
Barry Morningstar and Azrael fly across the ring
taking out Buzz and Starbuck Steel.
Dr. Red
Fang executes a VAMPIRE LUNGE....
Biceps
Bannerman absorbs the punishment.
Dr. Red
Fang is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...(The
Ambassador holds Biceps’ foot down to prevent him from kicking out)…3
Biceps
Bannerman was pinned by Dr. Red Fang!!!
Dr. Red
Fang wins with a VAMPIRE LUNGE over Biceps Bannerman!!!
UNBELIEVABLE!!!
Devastation, Inc has just defeated the champs to become the NEW 6 MAN TAG TEAM
CHAMPIONS!!! The Ambassador stands tall
with his team as they hold their titles high.
The show comes to an end with the fans booing the hell out of them.
This
is not over by a long shot. Stay tuned.
