Hello fans and welcome back to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter. As the show begins, we watch the final minute of the World Title match where Maxine DeVito came out, put on a referee shirt and then promptly cost Jack Lumber the World Title awarding the championship to Scooter J. We cut to a pre-taped interview from the new champion:
“Jack Lumber, you
can whine and cry and complain all you want.
I told you to bring your ‘A-Game’ and all you brought were excuses. I asked you to bring your best and you bring
out a wooden scooter. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know you are entitled to a rematch but you will NOT be first. I will defend the title against someone of my
choosing. Don’t complain, you’ll get
your shot but it will be when I decide; no one else.”
The fans boo until
GM Max McGillicutty comes out. Max says
that Scooter J may be the champion but he was wrong on one thing; he does not
decide who he’ll defend the title against, the office of the GM does. Speaking of GMs, he is not happy that Maxine
inserted herself as referee and ended up costing Jack Lumber his title. So, tonight, he is announcing that Scooter J
will defend his World title at the House of Horrors PPV at the end of the
month. The kicker, is that it will be an
ELIMINATION CHAMBER match. The fans pop
huge. Over the next few shows, there will
be qualifiers on who will go to the PPV beginning with one tonight. The main event WILL be Scooter J defending
his newly won World Title against a person to be named later. Max leaves so that the show can begin.
Pyro goes off and
our show is ready to begin. The Ladies
of HCW begin heading to the ring for an all-ladies battle royal. The winner gets a money in the bank contract
for a future title shot. Here is the
order of eliminations:
Betsy Cummings (f) was eliminated by Catalina Harper (f) with JAW JACKER - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Goldie Locks (f) was eliminated by Felicia Cummings (f) with SITOUT FACEBUSTER - Throw Out Of Ring after
3 minutes
Kimberly Kiccsass (f) was eliminated by J9 (f) with MODIFIED S.T.F. - Throw Out Of Ring after
2 minutes
Korbi Kong (f) was eliminated by Lady Hermann (f) with SITOUT WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Lavender Gooms (f) was eliminated by Hayley Hailstorm (f) with TORNADO D.D.T. - Throw Out Of Ring after
2 minutes
Missy Chick (f) was eliminated by Leslie Grimes (f) with DDT - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Lady Hermann (f) was eliminated by The British Crippler (f) with SNAP SUPLEX - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Sarona Reiher (f) was eliminated by The British Crippler
(f) with SHARPSHOOTER - Throw Out
Of Ring after 2 minutes
Violet Valkyrie (f) was eliminated by The British Crippler
(f) with ROPES - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
The British Crippler (f) was eliminated by Leslie Grimes
(f) with LOU THESZ PRESS - Throw
Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Felicia Cummings (f) was eliminated by Catalina Harper (f) with PURR-FECT STORM - Throw Out Of Ring after
3 minutes
Catalina Harper (f) was eliminated by Leslie Grimes (f) with RUNNING CLOTHESLINE - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Leslie Grimes (f) was eliminated by J9 (f) with RUNNING CLOTHESLINE - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
J9 (f) was eliminated by Hayley Hailstorm (f) with DEATH VALLEY DRIVER after 14 minutes
Hayley Hailstorm (f) wins
the Battle Royal!!!
Hayley gets the
win and a contract for a future match for the Ladies title. The fans pop for her. She stays a few moments to interact with the
crowd before heading to the back.
Backstage, Dash
Woodbrick is having a conversation with Tommy Lightning about how they both
continue to get screwed over when Master Bull and Phat Sol walk by and begin
mocking them for being whiners. Tommy
issues a challenge for a tag team match that Bull and Phat accept immediately
much to Dash’s reservations. That match
is up next.
First, Master Bull
and Phat Sol make their way out to the ring to a pop from the crowd. The make
it into the ring and begin getting the crowd psyched up. Next, the music changed and out comes Dash
Woodbrick who is arguing with Tommy about accepting a match he wasn’t on board
with. They eventually make it to the
ring. For about 15 minutes, Bull and
Phat held control over the match but then 3 rounds of consecutive double
teaming on Phat swayed the control of the match to the heels. Tommy nailed Phat with a lightning dropkick
and then tagged Dash in. Dash threw Phat
into Bull’s corner and begged for Bull to tag in which he did. The two began slugging it out until Tommy
came into the ring and the ref went over to send him out which gave Dash the
opportunity to hit Bull with a low blow.
Bull recovered to hit two back to back one armed chokeslams. Bull started to hit the ropes but Dash did a
kip up evasion and taunt and then immediately rolled Bull up using his momentum
from the ropes and with a handful of tights (almost got a full moon there), he
scored the 1-2-3. Dash Woodbrick and Tommy
Lightning steal a win. They immediately
leave the ring laughing as they made their way to the back. Bull and Phat tried to complain to the ref
about the blatant cheating but as he didn’t see it, he couldn’t do anything
about it. Bull and Phat left to the
back. (22 min)
Backstage in the
GM office, Maxine DeVito is making a change the card tonight. She pencils in The Masked Banana’s name for
the qualifying match. If he wins, he
gets to deal with the pain and suffering the Elimination Chamber will put
out. If he loses, he loses to TNT and
that in itself is an embarrassment. She
begins laughing. Max McGillicutty walks
in and questions what she’s doing. She
shrugs her shoulders and then gives the camera an evil smile.
We head back to
the ring for the first of 5 qualifying matches to see who goes on to the
Elimination Chamber. First, AC/DC’s TNT
plays and out comes TNT – Templeton N. Townsend to massive boos from the crowd
(not quite sure we have the rights to that).
He enters the ring and begins to mock the fans who respond in kind. Next, ‘Hey Margarita’ begins to play and out
comes the Masked Banana. He stops by the
Banana Boat for a quick confab with his fans and then makes his way to the
ring. TNT rushes out of the ring and
attacks MB as he enters the ring. The
match begins with MB on the defensive but it doesn’t take long for the fans to
get him psyched up. The match went 13
minutes with TNT controlling the pace but MB just hung in there. AT the 14 minute mark, the ref got
accidentally bumped when TNT reversed a Masked Banana whip and sent MB crashing
into the ref. This once again brought
out Maxine DeVito wearing a refs shirt.
MB is stunned. TNT hits MB with
the Townsend Driver and Maxine once again makes a fast 3 count awarding the
match and the chamber spot to TNT. This
brought out Max who was again furious with Maxine for interjecting herself into
the match. Max says that he is
restarting the match and Maxine can remain the ref but if he sees any
impropriety, he will take serious action.
Maxine reluctantly restarts the match.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) rolled OC/TT
The Masked
Banana rolled DC
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) executes a POWER UPPERCUT....
The Masked
Banana attempts to defend against POWER UPPERCUT but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) rolled OC.
The Masked
Banana rolled OC.
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) executes a VICIOUS EYE RAKE....
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA HAMMOCK....
The
Masked Banana is attempting a pin!!!
Maxine makes a very slow count.
1...
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) rolled OC.
The Masked
Banana rolled DC
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) executes a STANDING SUPLEX....
The Masked
Banana absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) rolled OC.
The Masked
Banana rolled DC
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) executes a STANDING SUPLEX....
The Masked
Banana attempts to defend against STANDING SUPLEX but is unsuccessful. TNT begins to showboat.
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) rolled DC
The Masked
Banana rolled OC/TT
The Masked
Banana executes a BANANA HAMMOCK....
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) attempts to defend against BANANA HAMMOCK but is
unsuccessful.
The
Masked Banana is attempting a pin!!!
Maxine makes a slow but reluctant count.
1...2...3
TNT
(Templeton N. Townsend) was pinned by The Masked Banana!!!
The
Masked Banana wins with a BANANA HAMMOCK over TNT (Templeton N. Townsend)!!!
The Masked Banana
gets the win and the fans pop huge.
Maxine’s upper lip curls in a snarl and she walks off. MB celebrates with his fan club before making
his way backstage.
Col. Samuel Flagg
is backstage and says he will take on anyone from the roster tonight. He then reminds us and gloats over taking out
Buzz Steel months ago. “Whoever gets in
the ring with me will suffer the same fate.
ATTENSHUN MAGGOT!” He then walks
off.
“ATTENSHUN MAGGOTS”
blares out of the loudspeakers and out comes Col. Flagg. He makes his way to the ring threating to hit
a few fans on the way. He gets in the
ring and snatches a mic. He once again
berates Buzz Steel for being weak and asks who else on the roster wants to
follow him to the hospital. Music hits
and out comes former World Champion Jack Lumber. The fans pop huge as the flannel wearing
lumberjack makes his way to the ring.
Flagg is beside himself. Jack
gets in and tells Flagg that he should be careful who he calls out. Flagg tried to run away but then TV Champion
Starbuck Steel appears on the ramp and Flagg backs up to the ring into Jack’s
waiting arms. Jack controlled the pace
of the match but the diabolical Flagg always had a card up his sleeve. After hitting Jack with the Patriotic Inverted
Slam, he began jaw jacking with Starbuck who had remained at ringside. Flagg once again insulted Buzz and that got
Starbuck riled up. Starbuck went and
grabbed a chair but the ref ended up taking it away and dropping it in the
ring. Flagg then grabbed the chair and
smashed it loudly on the mat before throwing it to Jack and falling prone on
the mat. The ref turned around and saw
Flagg “laid out” with Jack holding a chair.
Jack dropped it saying he didn’t use it but the ref ended up
disqualifying Jack for the use of a foreign object and awarded the match to
Col. Flagg. Flagg left the ring laughing
but didn’t’ get far as Starbuck grabbed him, peppered him with lefts and rights
and rolled him back into the ring. Jack
picked up the chair and said “Well, if I’m going to be disqualified for using a
chair, I might as well use it” and began smashing it across the back of Col.
Flagg who, after a couple of shots, bailed out of the ring and took off like a
scalded dog. The fans pop for Jack and
he eventually left the ring. (13 min for
the match; 5 for the aftermath).
Backstage,
Hardcore Champion Biceps Bannerman says that tonight, he defends the title
against Adam Jameson. He doesn’t have
much on AJ except he knows he has to be tough if he’s here in HCW. He looks forward to their match.
We head back to
the ring for our Hardcore title defense.
First, Adam Jameson comes out to a nice pop from the crowd. He gets in the ring and helps get the crowd
psyched up. Next, Hardcore Champion
Biceps Bannerman comes out to a much bigger pop from the crowd. He interacts with the fans as he makes his
way to the ring. He enters and it’s
announced their match will be a ‘lights out’ rules match. Before the match could begin, out comes Dr.
Red Fang. Right off the bat, Bannerman pulled
out some brass knuckles but before he could hit Adam with it, Fang shoved the
ref right into Bicep’s swing and the ref got knocked out. Fang hit both men with a steel chair and were
slow to get back up but with the ref incapacitated, there was no one able to
make the count. Later in the match,
after the ref recovered, the ref got hit again with the brass knuckles. At the 15 minute mark, Adam hit a piledriver
on Biceps on the outside of the ring. The
champ was slow to get back in but made it back in by the count of 8. Adam went for the Styles’ Clash but Biceps
ducked and hit Adam with a huge kick to the gut. He rolled him up and got the 1-2-3. Biceps Bannerman gets the win and retains his
title. After the match, Dr. Red Fang
rolled in and smashed Biceps from behind with a coalminers’ glove. He then hit Biceps with a Vampire Lunge and a
Transylvania Piledriver. Fang picked up
the title, cackled and then dropped it on Bannerman before walking off. (16 min for the match; 5 for the aftermath)
World Champion
Scooter J is backstage. He looks at the
lineup sheet and sees he’s defending his title against Ghee Buttersnaps. “Ghee Buttersnaps…sounds like a name Shawn
Spencer from Psych would come up with.
Listen up buttermilk, you have nothing, you are nothing. I am the World champion. I am on top of the world. I needed no one to get here and I’ll need no
one to retain. If management wants me to
defend my title in an Elimination Chamber, so be it. I beat Jack Lumber, I’ll beat butterbean and
I’ll walk out of the chamber with my title intact.” SJ walks off.
It’s time for our
Main Event. First, Ghee Buttersnaps
comes out to a pop from the crowd. He
gets into the ring but can’t do much as the World Champion’s music hits and out
comes Scooter J. SJ walks to the ring
amid booing from the fans but he doesn’t let it get to him. He gets in the ring, removes the title and climbs
the turnbuckle holding the title high over his head. The fans’ booing intensifies but the champ
just smirks and steps down. He hands the
title to the ref and the match can begin.
Scooter J stays in control for the majority of the match staying a few
steps ahead of his opponent; outthinking him at every turn. The match went 17 minutes before SJ decided
to end it. He went to the corner and
started stamping his foot on the mat. He
then took a couple of steps in and hit Ghee with a superkick. Scooter J makes the leisurely cover and gets
the 3 count. Scooter J gets the win and
retains his title.
The show comes to
an end with Scooter J holding the World Title high and smirking at the fans who
continue to boo him as the cameras stop rolling.
That’s all for
now. Stay tuned as things begin to
really heat up for the PPV.
