HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2020 #843 (5/13/20)

Hello fans and welcome to our latest installment of the HCW Wrestling newsletter.   Management got approval to take us on the road so today’s show is coming to you from Olympia, WA.  HCW management made special arrangements with world renowned artist @Robsy (like Banksy but a tad less famous) to make new logos for some members of our roster.   The (almost) world famous artist will be kept on retainer during these trying times after thinking he was done after this.  The new logos will appear on the Omegatron when the wrestler makes their way out. 

The show kicks off backstage with J9.  “Tonight, my first guest needs no introduction.”

. 

(Get it…wood brick…Woodbrick)

The Masked Banana walks in dressed like Dash Woodbrick.

“Oh, look at me…blah blah blah, I’m Dash Woodbrick har har har.”  J9 begins laughing hysterically.  The Masked Banana then removes his coat and says “But it’s really me, the Masked Banana.  Just because someone can dress like someone doesn’t make them that person.  I will continue to prove to the world that Prophet and I are NOT the same person.”  (Editor’s note:  Does this mean Dash IS the Masked Banana?  We think NO.)

Pyro goes off and our show is ready to get underway.  First, out comes ‘Mountain Man’ Junior Huber to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  He makes his way down and steps over the top rope to enter the ring.  He begins pacing as he waits for his opponent…who just so happens to be his cousin.  Next, the lights go dim and out comes Wilber Townsend.  Wilber makes his way down but is not wearing his mask.  He is carrying something in his hand.  He gets in the ring and he and Junior exchange words.  Wilber then produces a mask that looks like a dead animal.  Wilber tells Junior “this is who you are” and hands him the mask.  Wilber is eluding to their time as a family – the Hubers and the Townsends.  Junior takes the mask staring at it momentarily before chucking it into the crowd.  Wilber attacks him.  Wilber gets the upper hand and holds it throughout the match although Junior leveled Wilber with “these hands” before barely missing the 3 count.   Wilber dropped Junior with the GTS and then locked in a rear chinlock and took him to the mat turning into a pin and securing the 3 count.  Wilber gets the win and retains his spot in the top 10.  (25 min)

Dash Woodbrick is backstage.  “Oh ha ha.  The yellow freak thinks he’s funny.  Keep it up funny man and you’ll be eating out of the other side of your peal.  You think you’re so funny, wait until you see your opponent tonight.  And that stupid @$$ logo, what crap!”  Dash then walks off.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  A new logo shows up on the screen:

Hayley comes out accompanied by her manager Matt Preacher.  Hayley has a mic in hand.  “I’ve been around for quite a while now and HCW and their idiot managers can’t seem to get my name right.  My last name is Hailstorm…not Hailstone.  My paycheck says Hailstorm…how hard is it to get it right?  Anyway, the logo is right and you stupid fans can see what it is…if you can read that is.”  She and Preacher laugh and then head to the ring.  After getting into the ring, the music changes and her opponent makes her way out.  

Korbi makes her way out and the fans pop for her.  Korbi heads to the ring and Hayley kicks at the ropes delaying Korbi’s entering the ring.  The bell rings and Korbi hits Hayley with a stiff arm uppercut.  Hayley retaliates with a roundhouse kick.  Hayley then hits a lifting reverse S.T.O.  Hayley hits a second lifting reverse S.T.O but then Korbi locks in an arm triangle lock.  Korbi has her trapped in the center of the ring and it doesn’t look like she will make it to the ropes.  Before she could tap out, Matt Preacher grabbed a towel and threw it into the ring.  The ref then called the match awarding the win to Korbi Kong.  Hayley rolled out of the ring.  Preacher explained that he saved her from the embarrassment of tapping out.   Hayley appeared to be ok with it and they left.  Korbi celebrated with the fans before leaving.  (3 min)

Drew the Canadian Love Machine shows up backstage talking to J9.   He tells her that Jack was a tough competitor but he doesn’t feel he got a good shake.  Drew challenges Jack to a match at the next show (non-title) but if he wins, he will want another title shot.  J9 thinks it’s a great idea.

The third match of the evening begins with “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYONE” and out comes Dr. Red Fang and his manager the Ambassador.  The fans boo and Fang hisses and growls at them.  They head to the ring.  The music changes and a new graphic shows up:

Peach, Pomegranate, Lime Margarita

Green, orange, purple margarita

Salt, rocks, frozen margarita

Hey Margarita!

The Masked Banana makes his way out and stops by the Banana Boat (his fan club) before making his way to the ring.  He is carrying one of the many Nannies and sets it up on the apron (so it can watch).  He enters the ring and Fang goes on the offensive hitting a Vampire Lunge and went for a pin but MB kicked out.  Fang follows it up with a Transylvanian Piledriver and another pin but MB kicked out again.  MB hits the Banana Cream Pie but Fang dropkicks him out of the ring.  Fang drags MB back into the ring and hits an Airplane spin.  He drops MB and goes for the pin but only gets a 2 count.  Fang then wraps MB up in the ropes and then goes over to Nannie.  MB screams for Fang to drop him but instead, Fang snarls and then takes a huge BITE out of Nannie.  MB screams “NO…NANNIE” and then escapes the ropes and hits Fang with the B.A.N.A.N.A.S. locking him up.  Fang has no choice and ends up tapping out.  The Masked Banana gets the win.  The fans pop for him but he is sad over the half eaten banana.  He places it in a trash can at ringside (no one wants a banana with a chunk ripped out of it) and then heads to the back.  A fan in the Banana Boat hands MB a “new” Nannie.  The Masked Banana is happy once again, gives the fan a hug and heads to the back.  Fang and the Ambassador eventually make their way to the back.  (5 min)

Backstage, Scooter J and TNT issue a challenge to the Steel Curtain.  Buzz and Starbuck walk in and after a little jaw jacking, agree to a non-title match.  That match is up next.

The music hits and out comes Scooter J and TNT.  They stop and look up at the Omegatron and see their new logos:

                                           

Hardcore Champion Scooter J and TNT head down to the ring to booing from the fans.  They mostly ignore them.  Once in the ring, the music changes and out comes the World Tag Team Champions – The Steel Curtain.

The fans pop huge as Buzz and Starbuck Steel make their way out.  They interact with the fans as they make their way to the ring.  They enter the ring and climb the turnbuckles as the fans pop louder.  They step down and Scooter J gets right into Buzz’s face.  “When we beat you tonight, we’re getting a title match.”  Buzz laughs.  “Do your best little man.”  The match begins and the Curtain dominate.  Starbuck finishes the match by hitting TNT with the Buckinator in only 12 minutes.  The Curtain leave barely having broken a sweat.  SJ and TNT strategize.  I don’t think this is over.

The British Crippler is backstage with J9 and she tells her that tonight, Catalina leaves with less than she arrived with.  The Crippler walks off and J9 just says “Wow”.

Up next is a title match for the 6 Man tag team titles.  First, the Muscles Trio come out minus their rainbow colored bull horns and boxes of cereal.  They seem to be all action and are ready for their match.   Once in the ring, the music changes and out comes the 6 Man Tag Team Champions.  Only Killa Pops has a logo:

Killa, Maximillian Redbeard and Superquake Ferguson make their way out.  The fans pop as they head down to the ring.  They get in the ring and Ferguson and Redbeard are towering over the Muscles Trio.  The belts are handed to the ref and this one begins pretty quickly.  The match was even between the two teams and neither were able to get much of an advantage over the other.  The match goes to the 30 minute time limit and the bell rings bringing this one to a draw finish.  The champs retain their belts in a very hard fought match. (30 min draw)

We head backstage with J9.  “My guest at this time is the Ladies Champion Catalina Harper.”  Catalina walks into the camera shot.  “I guess it’s time to defend my title again.  Crippler, I’d tell you that you have a chance at beating me, but I would be ‘lion’.  But hey, maybe you’ll get lucky. Stay PAW-sitive!!”  Catalina walks off laughing and J9 just watches her.

It’s time for our Main Event.  First, the British Crippler comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  She makes her way to the ring and enters.  A new logo flashes up on the Omegatron.

The Ladies Champion Catalina Harper comes out to massive booing from the crowd.  She hisses at them as she makes her way down to the ring.  She enters the ring and struts with her title held above her head.  Her lip curls as the fans become more vocal.  She hands her title to the ref and the match begins.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a KNEEDROP ON ARM....

The British Crippler (f) executes a CLOTHESLINE....

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled DC

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Both Women in rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) rolled DC

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) executes a CLOTHESLINE....

Catalina Harper (f) absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a SABERTOOTH TACKLE....

The British Crippler (f) executes a SURFBOARD....

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a ARMSTRETCHER....

The British Crippler (f) executes a SURFBOARD....

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a FOREARM UPPERCUT....

The British Crippler (f) neutralizes FOREARM UPPERCUT.

===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a TAILSPIN....

The British Crippler (f) executes a NATTIE BY NATURE....

The British Crippler (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Catalina Harper (f) kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW....

The British Crippler (f) attempts to defend against CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a TAILSPIN....

The British Crippler (f) executes a CLOTHESLINE....

===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a ARMSTRETCHER....

The British Crippler (f) absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a PURR-FECT STORM....

The British Crippler (f) attempts to defend against PURR-FECT STORM but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a JAW JACKER....

The British Crippler (f) executes a DISCUS CLOTHESLINE....

Catalina Harper (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...

The British Crippler (f) kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled DC

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Both Women in rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW....

The British Crippler (f) neutralizes CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW.

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a CATALINA CRAB....

The British Crippler (f) absorbs the punishment.

Catalina Harper (f) straps in the CATALINA CRAB.

The British Crippler (f) submits!!!

Catalina Harper (f) wins with a CATALINA CRAB over The British Crippler (f)!!!

Catalina gets the win and celebrates as she’s handed her title back.  The fans boo but then her celebration is cut short when a new logo shows up on the Omegatron:

Violet Valkyrie makes her way out and the fans pop huge for her.  She stands on the stage staring daggers at Catalina who is pissed that her celebration was interrupted.  Violet points at Catalina and then motions like she’s going to take Catalina’s title.  The show comes to an end with the champion in the ring screaming “NO, NO, NO!”

More to come so stay tuned.

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2020 #842 (5/03/20) – Anniversary super show

Hello fans and welcome to a very special edition of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter.  Today marks the anniversary of the birth of HCW.  4 Years ago, a decision by WWE, TNA, and Ring of Honor to pull all their talent from HWF and CSWA may have caused the demise of HWF and CSWA but it led to the birth of HCW.  In honor of that momentous occasion, we are holding a show tonight vs our normal Wednesday show but next week, we will be back on the normal schedule. 

There is an official poll taking place on social media right now and the fans are voting by an overwhelming margin (95% to 5%) that Dash ‘Smooth’ Woodbrick will be fired tonight by GM Master Bull.  I guess we’ll see what happens.

Also, today we also unveil our new logos…one for in-town house shows and the other when on the road. 

              

The show begins with GM’s Master Bull and Max McGillicutty making their way out.  Max thanks the fans for helping make HCW what it is today.  Master Bull says that lots of great stories got them to this point and he feels that it’s only going to get better.  Bull then says that there is a matter that needs to be discussed.  Max says that first, he wants to make a few announcements first.  1) Roving reporter Clarkus Kentus has decided to retire.  Clarkus was around before the birth of HCW and was the one to break the news of HCW’s birth to the world.  We thank him for all he’s done and wish him the best in his future endeavors.  2)  It has been decided that J9 will be taking her skills from behind the commentary desk and will take lead on backstage interviews.  Finally, with J9 heading to the back, it’s time to discuss what the future of Dash ‘Smoooooth’ Woodbrick will be.   Master Bull says that this is what he’s been waiting for.  He says Dash has been disrespectful to management and that cannot be tolerated.  Right before he could call Dash out, music plays and then a logo flashes up on the Omegatron.  

The King and World Champion of HCW the Wicked Prophet comes out wearing his cape and crown.  He mockingly waves at the crowd and the booing intensifies.

WP: “Welcome back to a new season of HCW! Since I proved that I am both The Wicked Prophet and The Masked Banana I realized that I can do anything in HCW, and nearly have. The payoff of keeping my alter ego of Masked Banana a secret until now has been tremendous. I felt guilty keeping that from my fans, but I didn’t want any conspiracies forming.  I know my loyal fans were able to figure it out but for the rest of you idiots, look at the logo…it was right there from the beginning.”  The booing intensifies except from one pocket in the crowd (presumably Prophet’s fans).  He continues.  “That being said, I have another huge announcement.”  

Master Bull interjects.  “I understand you are the King and the World Champion but that doesn’t give you the right to interrupt us.” 

Prophet seemingly ignores Master Bull and continues.  “I have decided, and we have agreed that from this day forward, Dash 'Smooooooooooth' Woodbrick will be my manager and exclusive point of contact for all dealings in HCW.”  The fans are in shock as Dash makes his way out and stands next to Prophet.  The booing intensifies and Dash just smirks.  “I am especially excited for this change, as I have been managing the affairs of two wrestling personas. This transition will allow me to focus on becoming an even greater wrestler. Dash will be handling press, setting up matches, merchandise, and every aspect of my wrestling career aside from getting in the ring and pounding the snot out of my opponents. On that note, I challenge anyone who thinks they are worthy to enter the kingdom of heaven to face me. I will show them they are not worthy. No man taketh this honor unto himself, but he that is called of God, as was I.” 

Dash is then handed the mic.  “This man is the smartest man in all of wrestling.  He had each and every one of you duped.  He is so brilliant that even I could not see but now all that has changed.  Bull, you missed your chance.  I’m not going anywhere except where this man wants to go.  He wants to stay at the top, you can bet your ass that is where he will stay.  No one can beat him; he is the real deal and neither of us are going anywhere.”  The fans boo but then pop as the US Champion ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo comes out.  Gumbo walks over to Dash who is glaring at him.  Gumbo snatches the mic out of Dash’s hand.  “Mon Ami, I accept.”  He throws it back to Dash who fumbles with it before securely holding on to it and then walks away.  Prophet wanted a challenge and it looks like he’s going to get one.  Everyone eventually leaves so the show can begin.

Pyro goes off and our Anniversary show is ready to get underway.   Since not all wrestlers from HCW’s debut are still around, our show today will be a mixture of new and old.  Some of HCW’s originals will take on the newest up and comers.  Kicking off the show today is a rematch between the Regulators and ‘Perfect Pecs’ Stoddard & Shawn ‘Abs of Stone’ Austin.  In their last match, the Regulators dominated Pecs and Abs and was kind of embarrassing.  Once all 4 men were in the ring, P&A turned up the heat and this time, they dominated the match.  7 minutes in, Pecs tried to go for a pin after choking Mammoth in the corner but Mule made the save.  4 minutes later, Mule went for a DDT but Pecs reversed it nailing a front powerslam.  He went for the pin but Mule kicked out.  Both men made the hot tag to their partners.  After a few minutes of abuse, Mammoth tags in to give his partner a break.  Abs catches him and nails a Fisherman’s suplex.  Shawn makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Austin and Stoddard get the win much to the chagrin of the fans.  They responded in kind and then made their way to the back.  (15 min)

We head backstage with J9 who is interviewing Korbi Kong.  Korbi announces her intentions to challenge Catalina for the title but doesn’t disclose when.  When pressed for more details, Korbi responded “I have spoken” and walked away.  J9 crinkles her face and says “Did she just use a line from the Mandalorian?”

Up next is a spot challenge match. Music hits and Texas Wildfire comes out first to a massive pop from the crowd.  He interacts with the fans as he makes his way down to the ring.  He gets in and then climbs the turnbuckle with his arms in the air and the fans give him a welcome reception.  He steps down to wait.  Next, Otto Ruthless comes out to massive booing from the fans.  He flips them off and continues his way to the ring.  Wildfire challenged Otto for his spot in the US title Top 10.  The match begins and for 10 minutes, it’s about as evenly matched up as it could get.  Wildfire then hit two consecutive snap powerslams stunning Otto.  Prophet then hurled Otto into the corner turnbuckle and he hit the corner chest first before falling to the mat.  Wildfire makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Texas Wildfire gets the win and moves into the top 10 for the US title and Otto falls out.  (12 min)

We head backstage for another promo led by J9.  “There is one question on everyone’s mind and I’ll be the first to say it out loud.  Is Wicked Prophet really the Masked Banana?”

Just then, the following logo flashes on the screen and in walks the Masked Banana.

MB: I deny it! Wicked Prophet seems to think he proved that I am him. I am not him. I am me and so are the happy thoughts in my head. Aside from attaining grapeness, I now have to prove that I am not Wicked and I am not a Prophet, and I am not The Wicket Prophet. With his announcement, he goes into hiding and makes himself inaccessible and makes it more difficult for me to get into the same room as him to prove we are separate entities. This is crazier than Killa Plops thinking he can win a belt. Please ask my allies and they will say what you already know. I am not Wicked Prophet. I will allow any speculation and media is granted all access to me so we can get this cleared up. Is The Wicked Prophet also on his quest for greatness? Is he a lost plantain brother? Is he Verdi? Why must they conspire against my pursuit of grapeness?

The Masked Banana leaves as fast as he arrived.  J9 ends it with “Well, I guess we’ll never know.”  The camera goes off but the mic is still live and she says “WAIT….what did he say?”

We make our way back to the ring for our next match which is for the TV title.  First, the music hits and the fans are out of their seats as Drew the Canadian Love Machine makes his way out to the stage.  He smiles and point to a few fans who were cheering the loudest and he heads down to the ring.  Once in the ring, the music changes and we hear “Choppin’ wood and lookin’ good” and out comes the TV Champion Jack Lumber.  The fans pop for him also and he stops and shakes hands with his fans in the Lumber Lounge.  He makes his way to the ring and climbs one of the corner turnbuckles holding his title high.  He climbs down and removes his jacket.  He takes his title and hands it to the ref.  He meets Drew in the center of the ring and the two stare eye to eye.  They step back and the bell rings kicking this one off.  Jack starts off strong hitting the Axe and going for the early pin but Drew kicked out.  Jack kept the pressure on hitting “TIMMMMMBERRR” for a one count.  After that, no pin was attempted until the 18 minute mark after stunning Drew with an atomic drop.  He went for the pin but Drew kicked out.  Jack picked Drew up and hit him on the top of his head with an elbow smash.  Drew was stunned and Jack went for the pin and this time got the 3 count.  Jack Lumber is victorious in his first title defense.  He celebrates holding his title high.  He then turned to Drew and extended his hand.  Drew shook it and the fans popped even louder.  Drew left so that Jack could celebrate with the fans.  (19 min)

J9 is backstage with Violet Valkyrie.  Violet says she had Catalina beat until that masked person interfered costing her the match and the title.  She demands her attacker come forward and get the ass-kicking she deserves.  She then issues a challenge to Lady Hermann for her spot in the Ladies Top 10.  She is then interrupted by the small but powerful Hayley Hailstone.  Hayley says that Violet had her chance and blew it and now it’s her turn.  She then issues a challenge to Lady Hermann for her spot.  J9 then asks “Why not just make it a triple threat match?”  Violet and Hayley grin at each other, agree and then go their separate ways.

We go back to the lounge area and Davis Hoffmeister is talking to Larry Morton about HCW’s start.  “I know you were around before then but I can tell you, those first few weeks in getting HCW off the ground were interesting ones.  I wrestled back then as the Stache as part of the Desperadoes before going solo.  I had some great feuds that led me to being World Champion.  This has been a fantastic ride and I’m sure things will only get better.”  Davis is then blindsided by the Bounty Hunter Jake Montrose.  Davis is pissed and challenges Montrose to a match tonight.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  First, Violet Valkyrie comes out to a huge pop from the crowd.  Once in the ring, the music changes and out comes Hayley Hailstone.  She makes her way out and she stops outside the ring.  Lady Hermann then makes her way out and she too stops just short of the ring.  Violet turns and hits the ropes and then flies like a torpedo through the ropes.  Hayley moved at the last second and Violet took out Lady Hermann.  Hayley actually dominated the majority of the match but she couldn’t score the 3 count.  Lady Hermann throws Hayley out of the ring.  Violet hits the ropes and connects with a running clothesline.  She rolls Lady Hermann up and gets the 3 count before Hayley could stop the pin.  Violet gets the win and moves up in the rankings.  Hayley is not happy and makes her way to the back.  Violet interacts with the fans before leaving.  (23 min)

J9 is backstage with Scooter J who is cutting a promo for his match against TNT.  “You can tell who your friends are by how they stab you in the back.  TNT, you saw my feud with Dr. Red Fang and how that belt was supposed to be mine. You inserted yourself in my match with the pretext that you ‘had my back’ when all along, you were looking for a way to steal this from me.  Tonight, I take it out of your hide.  Tonight, I destroy you once and for all.  Tonight, I take the Hardcore title.”

Backstage, the Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck) talk about how, 4 years ago, they came on the scene and almost instantly won the World Tag Team titles.  Taking on teams such as the Ascension, the Smashers, the Desperados and host of others, they dominated the tag scene.  With Biceps Bannerman at their side, they made huge waves in the 6 Man scene.  The duo also talk about each one winning the World title and the showdown between the brothers which resulted in Buzz’s win.  They look on what they accomplished and look forward to mixing things up in the future.

Out next match begins with the Bounty Hunter Jake Montrose coming out to massive boos from the crowd.  He gets in the ring and jaw jacks with the fans.  The music changes and out comes Davis ‘the Hoff’ Hoffmeister.  He makes a beeline for the ring and he and Jake immediately start slugging it out.  For about 6 minutes, they were pretty evenly matched up.  At the 7 minute mark, Jake goes for a clothesline but Davis ducks and hits a roundhouse kick.  That put the ball in his court and he ran with it.  The match went surprisingly long at 25 minutes but Jake continued to kick out of pin attempts.  In the final minute of the match, Montrose goes to deliver some forearm smashes but Davis ducks, picks Jake up and bodyslams him in the middle of the ring.  He goes for the cover and gets the 3 count.  Davis Hoffmeister gets the win.  The fans explode with applause.  Jake rolled out of the ring; another ‘bounty’ lost.  Davis interacted with the fans before departing.  (25 min)

J9 is backstage with the US Champion ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo and his manager Ms. Alexandria.  .  “Let me tell you somethin' mon ami. If you tink I afraid o' anyone den you are craaazy. I will tap 'em out right quick now.  No Rougarou ([roo-gah-roo]…According to Cajun legend, it is a creature that physically transforms from a man into a wolf or dog or even a bird) will stand in my way o’ winnin’ any title I want. Doesn’t matter who dey are…just know I’m a commin’ for ya.  Prophet, watch ya back.”

We head back to the ring for our Hardcore Title Match.  First, Scooter J comes out and is booed pretty heavily.  He makes his way to the ring with an air of no-nonsense.  He gets in the ring and paces impatiently.  Next, TNT’s music hits and the Hardcore Champion comes out.  TNT runs down to the ring and steps over the top rope.  He gets right into Scooter J’s face.  The two jaw jack.  The bell rings starting this one off.  More jaw jacking ensues but then out of nowhere, Scooter J finger pokes TNT in the chest and he falls to the mat.  Scooter J makes the cover and the bewildered referee counts 1-2-3.  Scooter J just won the Hardcore title.  The fans are confused.  Scooter J takes the mic.  “You see, our World Champion isn’t the only one with surprises up their sleeves.  We planned this from the beginning.  Once we knew TNT was going to defeat Dr. Red Fang, the pieces all fell into place and we pretended to fight and you gullible morons all fell for it.”  The fans boo heavily.  TNT and Scooter J shake hands and leave.  (1 minute)

We head backstage again with J9. “Tonight, in the main event, Rad Gumbo takes on this man.”  In walks the King and World Champion the Wicked Prophet but Dash does all the talking.  “Listen up simpleton (to J9), the champ doesn’t have time for your stupid questions so let me make it as clear as mud.  Gumbo, you want to jump on the bandwagon for another 15 minutes of fame, give it a shot but know that you are outclassed, out gunned and just plain outsmarted by this man (points to Prophet). You’ve got nothing on him and after he teaches you a lesson tonight, you’ll BE nothing.”  Dash and the King walk off.  J9 shakes her head.

It’s time for our main event.  This match is a non-title match so neither the World or US titles are on the line.  The loudspeakers blast out “GUMBO 7:30 MEANS IS SUPPA TIME, BITCH!” and out comes the Ragin Cajun accompanied by his manager Ms. Alexandria.  They make their way to the ring to a loud pop from the crowd.  Gumbo, a former King, looks ready for this match.  Next, the music changes and out comes the King and World Champion the Wicked Prophet accompanied by his manager Dash ‘Smooth’ Woodbrick.  Dash has a mic.  “Listen up you lazy bums, stand up and give the King the respect he deserves.”  The booing intensifies.  Dash sees one person still sitting.  “Hey Fatso, put down the hotdog and your jumbo drink and give the King the respect he deserves.”  The fan promptly flips off Dash which got the fans around him laughing.  “Why you ….” Dash mutters as he acts like he’s going to take a swing at the fan but Prophet calms him down and they head to the ring.  Dash turns and glares back at the fan and then points to his eyes and then at the fan to show he’s watching him.  Prophet gets in the ring and the booing intensifies.  Prophet hands the title, crown and cape to Dash who takes it outside the ring.  The ref reminds us that neither title are on the line.  The bell then rings but Dash whispers something to the ref, shakes his hand and then steps down.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

The Wicked Prophet executes a BAPHOMET BRUISER....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against BAPHOMET BRUISER but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a DEVIL'S SNARE....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a WHERE Y'AT?  (QUICK JABS)....

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

The Wicked Prophet executes a BAPTISM OF FIRE....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a COTTONMOUTH CLUTCH....

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a EXILE FROM THE RING....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is on the outside.  The ref begins the count.

1...2...3...4...5...6...

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo makes it back into the ring at the 6 count.

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a EYE GOUGE....

The Wicked Prophet straps in the THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo does not submit!

===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a FIRE - WALK WITH ME....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a COTTONMOUTH CLUTCH....

===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a FRENCH QUARTER NELSON (REST HOLD)....

Just then, Dash uses the King’s scepter and smashes it into the ribs of Rad Gumbo.

The Wicked Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....

The Wicked Prophet straps in the THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo submits!!!

The Wicked Prophet wins with a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH over "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo!!!

The King gets the submission win over Rad Gumbo but as Ms. Alexandria tries to complain about Dash’s interference, he pushes her out of the way.  Gumbo then turns and slugs Dash (J9 watching in the back says “Ah I wish I could have done that”) and then trips Prophet and puts him in the New Orleans Crab.  Prophet is trying to claw his way out of the move and is eventually rescued when Dash smacks Rad in the back of the head with the scepter.  He helps Prophet out of the ring and after gathering all of Prophet’s stuff, they make their way to the back laughing all the way.  Gumbo gets up rubbing the back of his head and (fortunately) seeing no blood, he glares at Prophet.  “Dis ain’t over Mon Ami” Gumbo says as the show comes to an end.

Thanks for watching (and reading).  We’ll be back next Wednesday so stay tuned.