Hello fans and
welcome to another installment of HCW’s Phoenix Heat. On the card today, the Tag Team Champions
Mean Jack Mason and Angry Jack Lawson will be defending the titles. Also, Master Bull gets his qualifier match
for the TV title top 10.
The show begins
back in the office of the GM where Ruth Heartless is conducting business on the
phone. “Don’t worry, you’ll be back here
soon enough” she says just before hanging up the phone. She looks up and is greeted by Master Bull. “What the hell do you want?” Master Bull smiles at her. “Tonight, I get the qualifying match to see
if I can get the next TV title shot.”
“Really? You think you deserve
even that much?” Bull shakes his head
“Now, now, don’t be that way. Just tell
me who my challenger is so I can go prepare for my match.” “Oh, you want to know who your opponent is? Guess what you moron, you will find out when
you get to the ring…and by the way, you’re the curtain jerker so get
moving.” Bull turns and leaves. Ruth sits there stewing.
Pyro goes off and
our show is ready to go. First, Master
Bull comes out to a pop from the crowd.
He makes his way down and into the ring.
He stands patiently and waits for his opponent. Music hits and out comes Ovaltine
Jackson. He gets a smaller pop from the
fans and shakes hands with a few before heading to the ring. He climbs in and meets Bull in the middle of
the ring. He extends his hand and Bull
shakes it. The bell rings starting this
one off. Bull dominated the first 3
minutes of the match not even letting Jackson get a move in. After that, Ovaltine got in two moves but
that was all he did. Bull was able to
wind things up at the 10 min mark securing a win after hitting a reverse
neckbreaker. Master Bull gets the win
and now is in line for a title shot at Drew.
Bull motions around his waist signifying he’s going to get a title. He leaves fairly quickly. (10 min)
El Chango is
backstage and calls out Col. Flagg for the sneak attacks. He tells Flagg that if he wants him so bad,
they can settle this in the ring whenever he has the guts to show up.
Next up on the card
is our Ladies match. First, Kimberly
Kiccsass comes out and is booed. She
flips off the fans as she heads to the ring.
She gets in and before she can do anything, the loudspeakers blare “It’s
time to get SASSY” and out comes Sassy Maxine DeVito. She gets a small pop from the crowd as she
makes her way down to the ring. As soon
as the bell rang, Kimberly charged but Maxine moved out of the way and
attempted to do a quick roll up. Maxine
grabbed a handful of tights and that got a 2 count but Kimberly kicked out
right away. Maxine did it a second time
but only got a one count and an eye rake for her troubles. Kimberly then choked Maxine on the ropes and
she had an advantage through the match.
After a few minutes, Kimberly hit the Christo and went for a pin but
Maxine kicked out at one. After a bit
more back and forth, Maxine tosses Kimberly out of the ring but upon entering,
she caught Maxine with the Christo and went for a quick pin but Maxine kicked
out. Kimberly went for 3 more pin
attempts and each time Maxine kept kicking out.
Finally, the two of them locked up with neither relenting until a knee
to the gut by Kimberly allowed her to lock in the Dragon Sleeper. Maxine faded fast and the ref raised her arm
once (and it dropped), twice (dropped again) and a third time (and it fell once
more). The ref awards the match to
Kimberly Kiccsass via submission.
Kimberly hurls Maxine to the mat and then pompously puts herself over. She didn’t see Maxie get back to her feet but
when she did, she ran at Maxine who then hurled Kimberly to the floor. The fans popped. Kimberly got up cursing at Maxine and after
threatening to return to the ring twice, she just made her way to the
back. (12 min)
Tommy Lightning is
backstage and he’s complaining about how Max caused him to lose the US title
after he defeated that joke Prophet.
Now, he’s standing here without a title and he’s pissed about it. Tommy promises that he will get another shot
at the US title and this time, the belt will come home with him.
We head to the
ring for our next match. First, Tommy
Lightning comes out first to booing from the fans. His upper lip curls as he sneers at
them. He makes his way into the ring and
the booing intensifies. The boos change
to a pop when we hear “GUMBO 7:30 MEANS ITS SUPPA TIME, BITCH” and out comes the Ragin Cajun Rad Gumbo. Gumbo makes his way down to the ring
accompanied by his manager Ms. Alexandria.
He gets in the ring and raises his arms to a loud pop from the
crowd. Tommy tries to attack but Gumbo controls the
pace of the match. At the 7 min mark,
Tommy tries for a sunset flip but can’t get Gumbo over. Rad instead picks up Tommy and locks in the
Onion Lock (Muta lock). Tommy thrashes
around for a moment or two before tapping out.
Gumbo gets the win. He begins to
celebrate but then Tommy dropkicks him and takes off. Rad gets up and follows. (7 min)
The ring announcer
then introduces wrestling legend and hall of famer the Iron Sheik. Sheik comes out carrying the Iranian flag to
mostly boos but a few fans applaud for him although they tended to get drowned
out. Sheik gets into the ring and takes
the mic. “The Iron Sheik is here to
break backs and…” He gets cut off as the fans respond “make them humble.” Sheik shakes his head “This is not singalong
time with the Sheik. I am here because
there is an embarrassment in our craft.
This Gumbo Cajun is a disgrace.
He makes B Brian Blair and Hulk Hogan look like the Arnold of
Schwarzeneggers”. He even got punked by
Lightning Tommy. He does not deserve to
be here and should be banished.” Gumbo’s
music hits and Rad makes his way back out.
He gets right into the ring and gets into the Sheik’s face. The Sheik then threw a powder into Gumbo’s
eyes blinding him. He then tapped the
top of his shoe on the mat and then kicked Gumbo in the gut before kicking him
in the head with his loaded boot. Gumbo
was bleeding. Sheik then turned him over
and locked in the Camel Clutch. A bunch
of refs hit the ring trying to get him off and it seemed like it took half the
locker room to get him to release the hold.
Sheik takes the mic once again.
“Iran Number One, Gumbo….hock puey (he spits on Rad). Sheik takes the flag and waves it before
leaving. Gumbo made it to his feet a few
moments later and was able to make it to the back under his own power.
We go backstage
again where we are with Niven Snake.
Niven says that the Wicked Prophet keeps ducking him afraid to put his
belt on the line. Niven says he wants a
title shot now.
Our next match is
ready to go. First, Muscles McGuire
comes out wearing his rainbow colored bull horns and his box of Booty O’s
cereal. Next, El Chango makes his way
out and the fans pop. They wasted no
time getting the match started. El
Chango controlled the pace of the match and after bodyslamming McGuire to the
mat three times, he locked in the camel clutch and McGuire tapped out. El Chango gets the win in 7 short minutes but
his victory is short lived when Col. Flagg runs in and begins beating El Chango
down with a riding crop. Flagg begins
choking El Chango until he passed out.
Flagg kicks him out of the ring and says that his “kind” don’t belong
here and tells El Chango to go back to where he came from. The fans boo the shit out of Flagg who calls
the fans maggots before leaving.
We have a live
feed from Tacoma and the Wicked Prophet has some words for Niven. He says he will accept the match and will see
him in a few days up in Tacoma. He
promises that Niven will regret making the challenge.
It is time for our
main event. The World Tag Team champions
are defending their titles tonight. You
may wonder why they didn’t cut a promo.
Mean Jack told us it was because he felt their challengers tonight
didn’t deserve anything. First, Muscles
Weasley and Thorpe come out to represent their faction. They are wearing rainbow colored bull
horns. They get a pop as they head to
the ring. They barely make it to the
ring when the music changes and out comes the Champs Mean Jack Mason and Angry
Jack Lawson. They have choice words for the
fans as they make their way to ringside.
One fan made a grab for Mean Jack’s belt and Mean Jack nearly took his
head off clobbering him until security rushed over and escorted the fan out. The Jacks continued their way to ringside,
entered the ring and held their titles over their heads all the while mocking
the fans. As soon as they surrendered
the titles to the ref, the match began.
The Muscles
started on Angry Jack injuring him right off the bat. Mean Jack tagged in and easily held his
own. When it seemed that Lawson was ok,
he tagged back in and beat the holy hell out of Weasley. The Muscles had frequent tags to attempt to
keep themselves fresh and used their speed to help counter the power from the
Jacks but it was barely adequate. As
they got to the 25 minute mark, an exhausted Thorpe tagged to Weasley who immediately
went to the top rope. Angry Jack rushed
over to the corner and caught him before viciously planting him (and possibly
denting the floor) in the ring. Angry
Jack made the cover and got the easy 1-2-3.
The Jacks are victorious in their title match.
Mean Jack gets on
the mic and asks for a challenge…any challenge as they are getting bored with
the fodder they’re being fed. “Give us a
challenge!”
The show comes to
an end with Mean Jack and Angry Jack yelling at the camera demanding a real
team.
That’s all for
now. Stay tuned…more to come.
