Monday, January 1, 2018

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2018 #635 – Welcome to 2018


Hello Wrestling fans and welcome to 2018 and a new newsletter to kick out our 13th year of bringing you the action from our world of professional wrestling.  A quick recap of the end of 2017 saw a few of our wrestlers call it quits either because of the stipulation of the match or due to injury.  Also, we look at who enters 2018 as champions:

World Champion:  Drew the Canadian Love Machine
Ladies Champion:  Taylor Bella
US Champion:  The Crocodile Hunter
World Tag Team Champions:  Elitism (The Elitist Reid Rothchild & Rowdy Roderick Rothchild)
Six Man Champions:  The Steel Curtain and Biceps Bannerman
Hardcore Champion:  Leon Teremoto
TV Champion:  Phat Sol (pending a medical examination of his injuries)

Well, we had some time pass allowing Phat Sol to recover from injuries (blinding) inflicted upon him by manager J C Dykes and the Unknown Assassin.  As of this writing, the doctors don’t feel he can return to the ring and be 100% healthy.  Because of that, we have to unfortunately strip Phat of the TV title (he will be the top contender once he is cleared to return) and today, we are holding a full roster battle royal to see who will become the new TV Champion.

First though, over the break, to replace those wrestlers who have moved on, we have brought in some new talent discovered by GM’s Max McGillicutty and Master Bull.  Those new talents are:

Wolfman Keg (joining the ranks of Graham’s Ghouls replacing Covfefe)
Bob “Powder” Keg (claims no relation to Wolfman but we’re not 100% convinced)
Mustang Sammy (THIS is the guy who’d been walking around with the “Why Davis Why” sign.  We’ll get more details on him later.)
The Banker (he will have an intro later on in the show)
Candice Charisma will fill the gap left by Southern Belle

There also has been a roster shake up with some talent switching sides.  The new roster line up looks like this:

Tacoma Thunder Roster
Phoenix Heat Roster
"Bad News" Marvin Barnes

"Rowdy" Roderick Rothchild
"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston

"The Elitist" Reid Rothchild
"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo

"Top Gun" Justin Winger
Adam Jameson

Angry Jack Lawson
Billy Robbins

Baron von Blood
Bishop Ripley

Biceps Bannerman
Bob "Powder" Keg (NEW)

Butch Huber
Brick

Buzz Steel
Davis Hoffmeister

Crocodile Hunter
Dr. Red Fang

Ferb Huber
Drew the Canadian Love Machine

Jesse California
Dude USA Mick Rude

Junior Huber
El Chango

Karl Braun
Ghee Buttersnaps

Leiton Snake
Hangman #3

Niven Snake
Ice Dagger

Oswald Zimmerman
Ivan Dragovich

Otto Ruthless
Leon Teremoto

Outback Oscar
Magnum Kone

Perfect Pecs Stoddard
Mason the Mangler

Phat Sol
Muscles McGuire

Scooter J
Muscles Thorpe

Sonic Blade
Muscles Weasley

Starbuck Steel
Mustang Sammy (NEW)

Superquake Ferguson
Ovaltine Jackson

Talon McFrost
Pete Punsher

Terra Ryzing
Red McNulty

Texas Wildfire
Smasher #1

The Banker (NEW)
Smasher #2

the Unknown Assassin
Superstar Chic Monroe

Tobias Snake
The Axe

Travis Ryzing
TNT

Wilber Townsend
Wendell Hammerschmidt

Wolfman Keg (NEW)



Candice Charisma (NEW)

Betsy Cummings
El Gato Negro

Felicia Cummings
Kimberly Kiccsass

Jazz Emmett
Lady Hermann

Missy Chick
Lavender Gooms

Ravishing Raquel
Lexy Flexx

Sarona Reiher
Madame Jade

Starr Vixen
Scarlett Phoenix

Taylor Bella
The Duchess

 VACANT


Today’s show will really just be the Men’s Battle Royal to determine who the new TV Champion will be.  Exempt from the battle royal will be Drew, Croc, and Leon leaving 63 other men (and ghouls) to fight it out to see who will become the new TV Champion.  Former TV Champion the Unknown Assassin has promised to regain “his” title “at any cost”.

As promised, we compiled some data on the new wrestler The Banker.  Here is what we know of him. 

The Banker, from Sioux Falls, ND, was laid off from his job during the crash of 2008. Since he needed to find a new way of inflicting pain and suffering, he turned his attention to the ring. He started training with Ruth Heartless, a renowned wrestler in her own right in some of the smaller circuits outside Sioux Falls, SD. The Banker comes to the ring wearing his signature black and red tights and a button-down dress shirt cut-off at the shoulders. He has his pocket protector, and glasses with the white tape across the nose. He also carries with him a brief-case, said to contain all the personal information he needs on his opponent. Right before executing his signature move, the Repossession rib-buster, he pulls out his Blackberry and places a call to get authorization. When he secures the win, he opens his briefcase and pulls out a stamp, and stamps the word ‘DENIED’ on the forehead of his opponent.  It will be interesting to see if he pulls this off on our roster.

The roster makes its way out to the ring and once the final competitor entered the ring, things got dicey quick.  Here is a recap of the interesting eliminations.

Angry Jack eliminated the Axe after hitting Axe with a low blow.  He’ll have words for him for sure.
Scooter J eliminated World Champion Drew.  Scooter J immediately demands a title shot.
Top Gun Justin Winger eliminates US Champion Crocodile Hunter.  Afterwards, he requested a title shot.
Niven Snake eliminated Leon Teremoto after Leon eliminated his brother Tobias Snake. 
Starbuck Steel eliminated “The Hoff” after Mustang Sammy dropped Hoff with a DDT.
Jesse California eliminated Angry Jack after the Axe pulled down the top rope assisting with the elimination.            Axe walked off with a smug look on his face.  Jack stormed off after him.
Texas Wildfire eliminated Mustang Sammy after the Hoff distracted the Mustang.
Ferb Huber eliminated his cousin King Wilber Townsend.
‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild eliminated Dr. Red Fang.  Fang promised he’d cost Reid something in the future.
Fang interfered causing Reid to be eliminated by Texas Wildfire.
Roderick Rothchild actually eliminated quite a few wrestlers before finally being dumped out by Rad Gumbo.
Texas Wildfire eliminated Rad Gumbo to become the NEW TV Champion.  He is immediately attacked by the Unknown Assassin.  The two brawled all the way to the back.

Before the show could come to an end, newcomer Candice Charisma comes out with a mic in hand and says that HCW jumped through a lot of hoops to get her to sign with them.  She says that she’s not going to sit on the sidelines and wait for someone to put her into a match; she’s demanding one right now.  She knows she’ll be on the Tacoma roster so she asks for anyone on the roster to come out and understand why she’s going to be the next best thing.  Out comes Lavender Gooms.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out saying that Candice is supposed to debut next Monday but if she’s already here calling out people, so be it.  Max makes this match the main event which is up next.

Main Event:  Candice Charisma vs Lavender Gooms

Candice started the match off strong and surprised Lavender but she stayed right there with her.  A couple of minutes in, Lavender locked Candice in the Lavender Lock but Charisma made it easily to the ropes to break the hold.  Candice threw Lavender out of the ring Gooms was back in at the count of 5.  After a few more minutes, Lavender locked in the LL again but once again Charisma made it to the ropes easily.  After a few more fisticuffs, Candice and Lavender were fighting on the outside of the ring.  Candice whipped Lavender into the ringside barrier.  She then rolled back into the ring just before the bell rang.  Candice gets her first win in HCW via countout.  She celebrated in the ring as the fans pondered on how to respond.  She left the ring after a few moments.  (6 ½ min)


Thanks for joining us.  This Wednesday, Phoenix Heat will be back up and running and will feature an all Ladies roster Battle Royal.  Stay tuned.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2017 #634 – APOCALYPSE PPV DAY 3


Hello fans and welcome back to Day 3 of our PPV Apocalypse.  The show begins back in an office occupied by GM’s Max McGillicutty and Master Bull.  Max and Bull discuss the repercussions for UA and J C Dykes for blinding Phat Sol that could result in a suspension.  As of last night, Phat’s prognosis at this time was not looking good.  The doctors have said that there may be optical nerve damage.  Bull thinks that if Phat can’t defend his title in 30 days, he should be stripped of it now and they should hold a tournament to crown a new champion.  Max says they’ll give it to the beginning of January and he and Bull can figure out the best course of action.  They agree to see how Phat does over the holiday and will re-evaluate his status in the new year.

Pyro goes off kicking off Day 3 of our end of the year PPV Apocalypse.  The fans at our last two shows were pretty excited but the crowd today are literally hanging from the rafters. It’s so loud in here we can’t hear ourselves talking.  But that’s what you want, right?   Master Bull comes out on stage and thanks the fans for supporting them all year.  He promises that when the new year kicks off, there will be some really great things happening with the Tacoma and Phoenix rosters so stay tuned.   Bull leaves as an interview begins to air.

Backstage, ‘Top Gun’ Justin Winger is interviewed about his match against Figgy Newton.  “Newton, you’re about as slimy as they come and tonight, you will finally get what’s coming to you when Top Gun soars and comes crashing down on you…brother!”

Match 1:  Ovaltine Jackson and Ghee Buttersnaps come out to a huge pop from the crowd.  Dang, these two guys are really over.  Once in the ring, their pop is cut short when the 5th Column (Baron von Blood, Oswald Zimmerman and Karl Braun) make their way down to the ring. Braun goes to stand in his team’s corner but the ref ends up sending him away from ringside to avoid any outside interference.  Baron and Oswald try to complain but it does no good.  The ref then announces that GM Max McGillicutty has made this one a no DQ/CO match so that no one can purposely get counted out or disqualified.  The match is also being granted a 30 minute time limit.  Both teams needed the full 30 minutes to tell their story and DAMN, did they ever.  Not surprising, Ghee and Ovaltine dominated the match taking it to their opponents but about 19 minutes in, Karl Braun rushed down and attacked Ovaltine putting him through a table at ringside.  Ovaltine is injured and is out most of the rest of the match.  Ghee carried on for his team getting 2 counts after 2 pin attempts.  The Column tried to double team Ghee but Buttersnaps held his own even against the double team.  Finally at the 29 minute mark, Ovaltine was able to get to his feet and climb back on the apron but there was no way Ghee could tag him in after what he just went through.  Oswald caught Ghee off guard and hit him with the Flatliner and he went for a pin but Ghee kicked out at 1 and then the bell rang bringing this one to a draw.  Baron tried to jump in and attack Ghee but Ovaltine hit him with a spear that sent Baron out of the ring.  Oswald joined his teammate and the two left.  Ghee helped Ovaltine to his feet and the fans popped for them as they made their way to the back.  (30 min draw)

Backstage, Figaroa Newton cuts his own promo.

“You’ve heard of the thrilla in Manilla... the thunder from down under.... well folks tonight you’re going to see a show... a spectacle unlike anything you’ve seen before.  School is in session and the meek will rise! In one corner we have him.... ya him, does anyone else smell hair care products, and in the other corner we have a new level of contender... a man who has no wrestling experience, but heart, courage, & class.... a man who’s chosen to teach the uneducated.... ohh ya... this will feel good! Let get this party started....”

We then cut to the office where Master Bull and Max McGillicutty are watching the show.  Bull says he wants to make Max a bet where the winner keeps Winger on their show as long as he wins tonight.  Bull says he’ll flip a coin…heads Winger stays in Tacoma and tails he moves back to Phoenix next year.  Max agrees.  Bull flips the coin and catches it but the segment ends before we can see what the coin toss was.

Match 2:  The music for the song “Real American” by Rick Derringer (I am a real American; fight for the rights of every man; I'm a real American; Fight for what's right fight for your life…) and out comes Figgy Newton.  The fans snicker at the man as he showboats all the way down to the ring.  He climbs the turnbuckles but the fans just heckle him.  He nonchalantly flips them off.  He begins to stretch as the music changes and then the ‘Theme from Top Gun’ by Joe Satriani begins to play (I sure hope these two obtained permission to use the music or there may be hell to pay) and ‘Top Gun’ Justin Winger comes out to a pop from the crowd.  He begins to make his way to the ring and then sees his #1 fan and he gives the ‘how YOU doin’ head nod.  He gets into the ring and then Figgy bolts.  Figgy slams his hands on the mat in frustration as Winger climbs each turnbuckle to a pop from the crowd.  Figgy continues to try to enter the ring but Winger takes a step towards the ropes and Newton backs off.  Figgy then begins to lambast the ref to get Winger to step back and let him in.  The ref sends Winger to the opposite corner and Figgy finally enters the ring.  The ref takes the mic introducing both wrestlers and then tells us that, as a pole is raised up and attached to the corner post, this match will be a cole miners glove match and that glove will sit on the platform until one person grabs it to use it.  Winger smiles and Figgy looks terrified (HEY, this isn’t what I signed up for).  The bell rings. 


Referee is 'Fast Count' Frank (+1)


===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC/TT

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC.

'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a HIP TOSS OUT OF RING....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton executes a MAUL WITH LOADED GLOVE....Winger is busted open.


===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled DC

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC.

'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a KNEE TO BACK....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton executes a RUNNING DROPKICK....


===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC/TT

'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a KNEE TO BACK....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton executes a VICIOUS EYERAKE....


===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC.

'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a COAL MINER'S CLOTHESLINE....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton executes a FIST DROP....



===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled DC

'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a FLYING BODY PRESS....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton neutralizes FLYING BODY PRESS.


===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled DC

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC/TT

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton executes a SLEEPERHOLD....

'Top Gun' Justin Winger absorbs the punishment.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton is attempting a pin!!!

1...
'Top Gun' Justin Winger kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled DC

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled DC

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled DC

'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a KNEE TO BACK....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton attempts to defend against KNEE TO BACK but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled DC

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC/TT

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton executes a YANK HAIR FLIP....

'Top Gun' Justin Winger reverses YANK HAIR FLIP!
'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a KNEE TO BACK....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC/TT

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC/TT

'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a ARM DRAG TAKEDOWN....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton executes a HURL OUT OF RING....


===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC.

'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a KNEE TO BACK....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton executes a VICIOUS EYERAKE....


===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled DC

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled DC

'Top Gun' Justin Winger executes a ARM DRAG TAKEDOWN....

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton neutralizes ARM DRAG TAKEDOWN.


===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled OC.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC.

'Top Gun' Justin Winger hits the ropes but doesn’t do anything…

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton executes a RAM INTO STEEL POST....Winger is busted open once again.  The blood is flowing!

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
'Top Gun' Justin Winger kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

'Top Gun' Justin Winger rolled DC

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton rolled OC/TT

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton struts around the ring, does the “u can’t see me”, brushes off his shoulder and executes a FIST DROP....

'Top Gun' Justin Winger absorbs the punishment.

Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton is attempting a pin!!! He hooks the leg (and the tights AND has his feet on the ropes)

1...2...3
'Top Gun' Justin Winger was pinned by Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton!!!


Figaroa 'Figgy' Newton wins with a FIST DROP over 'Top Gun' Justin Winger!!!


Figgy Newton gets the win and struts around the ring saying “I WON…I WON”.  The fans boo him but he doesn’t care.  He won.  He goes over to lean over Winger and he yells “I WON” but Winger, playing possum, reaches up and grabs Winger by the throat.  Figgy tries to get away but Winger won’t let go.  He lifts him up for a chokeslam but then drops him with a reverse atomic drop (aka nut cracker).  Figgy is in pain.  Winger grabs the coal miners glove and blasts Figgy with it knocking him out and busting him open.  Winger then goes to the top rope and hits the Flyin’ and Stylin’ on the prone form of Newton.  Winger then hurls Newton out of the ring into a heap on the floor.  The fans pop and it seems Winger got a little measure of revenge on Newton.  He leaves to a pop from the crowd.  2 helpers from the back came out to help Newton to the back (well, actually dragged his prone form to the back). 

Sonic Blade is backstage and he cuts a promo.  It is short and sweet.  “I'm gonna go get some so be preparrrrrrrrred to get rocked and rolled.”

Also backstage is his opponent the Unknown Assassin with his manager J C Dykes.  Dykes begins “Man, can the day get any sweeter.  That chump stain Phatty Patty is blind…oh no.  HA HA.  THIS is exactly what you get when you mess with the Unknown Assassin.  UA held the title last so when poor sad phat snot can’t defend the title, we will pick up the pieces and the belt will once again be ours.”  When asked about the talk of suspension by the GMs, Dykes said “Those two couldn’t put one cohesive collective thought together and they wouldn’t dare.  We’ll sue.  For now, we’ll deal with these two knuckleheads in Sonic ‘I’m a fast food restaurant’ dull Blade and that backwards hick Crocodile Hunter.  It doesn’t matter what their names are as UA will destroy them both.”

Match 3:  First, Crocodile Hunter comes out to a huge pop from the crowd.  As soon as he gets into the ring, Sonic Blade’s music hits and the fans pop for him too.  Finally, J C Dykes comes out and introduces the US Champion the Unknown Assassin.  They wait impatiently as security makes their way out lining the ramp.  Dykes and the Unknown Assassin make their way down to the ring.  When Dykes felt they were safe, he dismissed security.  UA gets into the ring with Dykes behind him and holds the US title high.  He flaunts it in front of Sonic Blade and then again in front of Croc but they just stared at him intently.  Dykes leaves the ring with the US title and the match begins.

Right off the bat, Sonic and Croc took Dykes out of the picture and he was incapacitated for the entire match.  The three men slugged it out and it was a pretty even match throughout.  The fans especially popped when UA got his ass handed to him but booed when UA took control of the match.  We join the match at the 19 minute mark.

===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

The Crocodile Hunter rolled OC.

The Unknown Assassin rolled DC

The Crocodile Hunter executes a Sheerdrop Brainbuster....

The Unknown Assassin absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 20th minute of the match: =====

The Crocodile Hunter rolled DC

Sonic Blade rolled OC.

Sonic Blade executes a POWER CLOTHESLINE....

The Crocodile Hunter absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 21st minute of the match: =====

The Crocodile Hunter rolled DC

The Unknown Assassin rolled OC.

The Unknown Assassin executes a Pile Driver....

The Crocodile Hunter absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 22nd minute of the match: =====

The Crocodile Hunter rolled OC.

Sonic Blade rolled OC.

The Crocodile Hunter executes a Knee To Midsection....

Sonic Blade executes a BRAZILIAN PRESS (LOU THESZ)....


===== In the 23rd minute of the match: =====

The Crocodile Hunter rolled OC.

Sonic Blade rolled DC

Unknown Assassin uses a chair and hits Sonic Blade with it in the lower leg.  Croc threw UA out of the ring.

The Crocodile Hunter executes a Ankle Lock....

Sonic Blade absorbs the punishment.

The Crocodile Hunter straps in the Ankle Lock.
Sonic Blade submits!!!


The Crocodile Hunter wins with a Ankle Lock over Sonic Blade!!!

Crocodile Hunter gets the win and becomes the NEW US CHAMPION!!!  He parades around the ring once the ref hands him the title and he climbs the turnbuckle holding the title high and the fans pop huge for him. Unknown Assassin gets back into the ring and hurls Sonic Blade out of the ring.  He then pulls Croc off the turnbuckle sending him crashing to the mat.  Dykes joins UA in the ring and prepares to throw a fireball.   Just as Dykes is getting ready to throw it, Sonic Blade rushes into the ring knocking Dykes from the ring and then disposing of the Unknown Assassin.  He turns to shake Croc’s hand and then raises his arm.  He then leaves to let Croc celebrate with the fans.

We head backstage where our resident IT specialist @jowsterguy says that Dr. Red Fang has pushed him too far and tonight, he gets that no good low down evil vampire will finally get what’s coming to him.  Whether it’s a table, ladder or chair, Fang will taste wood or steel – it doesn’t matter which and he’ll go back to Transylvania or Romania or wherever he’s from….for good.

In a different part of the backstage area, Dr. Red Fang is with his manager Ant Graham.  Graham calls @jowsterguy delusional if he thinks he can stand up to the world’s greatest vampire.  Fang snarls and yells

“I bet @jowsterguy is sitting back there punching those stupid keys. I'd love to punch HIM.”
            “Vampire Lunges for everyone!!!"
            “The stories about me being someone's dog are patently false. I'm obviously a vampire."
            "I would have been perfect in The Final Deletion."
            "HCW is just a side gig for me. No one there is worthy of being in the ring with me."
            “I'm pretty sure I'm the only thing keeping the Tacoma show afloat."
             "Thankfully we don't have to rely on @jowsterguy to provide the entertainment around here.”
 “I am so over in Luxembourg. Ask about me in Luxembourg City.”

The interviewer tried to ask Fang a question but got a verbal lashing.

 “Dr. Red Fang doesn't answer questions…I break bones. That pipsqueak Max McGillicutty will answer your questions.”

The interviewer tried to interject again and Fang went off on him again.

“You dare disturb Dr. Red Fang?  I should clothesline you out of your shoes! Max McGillicutty better get in here and help you!”
“Who are you and why are you bothering me?”
“Yell at me again and I'll choke you out!”
“Brother Nero....errr...whatever your face…don't make me delete you!”
“Look at who’s just WOKEN up.  Transylvanian piledriver coming your way!”
“Your yelling is going to get you stretched out by a Spider Web Leglock!”
“The good Dr. has a prescription for you...PAIN.  Sorry Mr. "Tea"…no, scratch that…I’m not sorry!”
“Did mommy not give you enough attention?   Stop yer screaming.”


The segment finally ended (thankfully) and we head back to the ring for our next match. 

Match 4 (Tables, Ladders & Chairs) - @jowsterguy comes out and the fans go absolutely bananas.  He shakes hands with the fans as he makes his way down to the ring.  He looks ready for this match.  His enjoyment is squashed when, over the loudspeakers blares “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYONE” and out comes Ant Graham and Dr. Red Fang.  The fans go sour really quick and he snarls and growls at the fans as he makes his way down to the ring.  @jowsterguy leaves the ring to set up a couple of tables.  He pulls some chairs out and a ladder from under the ring.  Fang enters the ring and beacons @jowsterguy to join him so they can start this show.  Fang controlled the first 5 minutes of the match until @jowsterguy climbed the ladder and then leapt hitting an elbow drop from the top of the ladder.  After that, things began going the IT specialist’s way.  He kept dominating the nasty vampire until Fang hit him with a Vampire Lunge and almost got a 2 count.  We join the match at the 15 minute mark.

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang rolled DC

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Dr. Red Fang rolled OC.

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist rolled DC

Dr. Red Fang executes a Use Ladder as a Battering Ram....

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist attempts to defend against Use Ladder as a Battering Ram but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang rolled DC

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist rolled OC/TT

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist executes a Double Pumphandle Orange Crush....

Dr. Red Fang attempts to defend against Double Pumphandle Orange Crush but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang rolled DC

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Dr. Red Fang rolled DC

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist rolled OC.

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist executes a Double Pumphandle Orange Crush....

Dr. Red Fang neutralizes Double Pumphandle Orange Crush.


===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang rolled DC

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist rolled OC.

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist executes a Double Pumphandle Orange Crush....

Dr. Red Fang attempts to defend against Double Pumphandle Orange Crush but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang rolled DC

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Dr. Red Fang rolled DC

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist rolled OC/TT

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist picks up Dr. Red Fang and sets him up on the top turnbuckle.  He then sets up a table and then executes a Three Quarter Nelson Suplex  from the corner crashing through the table....

Dr. Red Fang absorbs the punishment.

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3
Dr. Red Fang was pinned by @Jowsterguy IT Specialist!!!

@Jowsterguy IT Specialist wins with a Three Quarter Nelson Suplex over Dr. Red Fang!!!

The crowd pops as the IT specialist has his arm raised in victory.  He struggles to his feet and he asks for a mic.  @jowsterguy says he’s going back into his IT world and leaving the wrestling business for the professionals.  He leaves the ring to a pop from the crowd and he waves to the fans once he arrives on the stage and then turns and leaves.

The Duchess is backstage and she says she’s ready to send the Belle of the Ball back to the bingo parlor she belongs in.  Only one of them rides off into the sunset and she promises it won’t be her.

The Southern Belle is also backstage and she laughs in derision.  She says that the Duchess is delusional and her little majesty upstart will be the one hanging out on the unemployment line.  The one and only Southern Belle will be around for a long time to come so buckle up as she’s taking her for a ride.

Before we head back to the ring, we go to Max and Bull’s office where they are with DJ CJ Spice.  DJ says that the injuries he sustained on Friday are in fact career threatening and he needs to bring his career to a close.  Max asks if this is what he really wants to do and DJ says yes.  DJ CJ Spice announces he officially retires.  He says he doesn’t blame Elitism as he would have done the exact same thing if he was in their shoes.  He says this closes the door on his career.  Max and Bull shake his hand and wish him all the best.

Match 5 is ready to go.  First, the Duchess makes her way out to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  She’s not in the ring long before Southern Belle’s music hits and she makes her way out to booing from the crowd.  She answers their disdain with a couple of middle fingers.  She gets to the ring and immediately gets into the Duchess’ face and begins to push her.  The ref calls for the bell to ring so the two can begin slugging it out.  These two beat the holy hell out of each other and the fans ate it up.  They kept the pace moving at a furious one.  Both ladies got creative in trying to get the other to say ‘I Quit’ but neither would say the words.  The ladies took this one to the distance and kept the fans entertained.  This was the longest match of the PPV and no one was bored at all.  After many attempts to get the other to quit, we finally join the match at the 47 min mark.

===== In the 47th minute of the match: =====

The Southern Belle (f) rolled OC.

The Duchess (f) rolled OC.

The Southern Belle (f) executes a VICTORY ROLL....

The Duchess (f) executes a SUPERKICK....


===== In the 48th minute of the match: =====

The Southern Belle (f) rolled OC/TT

The Duchess (f) rolled OC.

The Southern Belle (f) executes a THROW OUT OF RING....

The Duchess (f) executes a SUCKER PUNCH....


===== In the 49th minute of the match: =====

The Southern Belle (f) rolled OC.

The Duchess (f) rolled OC.

The Southern Belle (f) executes a VICIOUS EYE RAK....

The Duchess (f) executes a ROLL-UP AND PULL TIGHTS....


===== In the 50th minute of the match: =====

The Southern Belle (f) rolled DC

The Duchess (f) rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

The Southern Belle (f) rolled DC

The Duchess (f) rolled OC.

The Duchess (f) executes the ALL HAIL HER MAJESTY....

The Southern Belle (f) attempts to defend against ALL HAIL HER MAJESTY but is unsuccessful.

The Duchess (f) straps in the ALL HAIL HER MAJESTY.
The Southern Belle (f), after being locked in for 30 plus seconds, finally submits!!!

The Duchess (f) wins with the ALL HAIL HER MAJESTY over The Southern Belle (f)!!! 

The Duchess gets the win and the fans pop for her and exhausted, she went and sat in the corner.  Belle got to her feet and left the ring.  The fans began to chant “Na na na na…na na na na…hey hey hey…goodbye” and Belle left with her head held high.  The Duchess did a finger wave and eventually left the ring.

We cut to the back where manager MJ is with ‘The Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo.  (translated from his Cajun speak so we can understand what he’s saying) “Finally, the Ragin Cajun gets what’s eluded him all year…a shot at the World title.  Champ, you and I have met before and I didn’t walk away with the title but now, months later, scouting you, I know your weaknesses.  Tonight, I become the champ and you will be nothing more than a chump.”

We go to another interview area where the World Champion Drew the Canadian Love Machine is cutting his own promo.  “2017 was a great year.  3x World Champion.  Cajun, you are one tough competitior but I am THE champ.  I started this year as the champ and I plan to end it as the champ also.  I’m not taking anything away from you but you are going against the best in the business and tonight, I will prove it once again.”

It’s time for our Main Event.  Manager MJ comes out first as “Gumbo 7:30 says its Suppa time, bitch!” blares over the loudspeakers and out comes the Ragin Cajun Rad Gumbo.  Gumbo gets a decent reaction from the crowd.  He gets into the ring and showboats.  Drew’s music hits and the World Champion makes his way out.  The fans go insane.  Drew takes a deep breath and heads to the ring.  Gumbo’s manager MJ meets Drew at the ring and tells him that Gumbo is taking that title tonight.  Drew totally dominated the match and even with MJ’s interference, it didn’t do any good.  Gumbo took a huge risk and launched himself from the top rope but Drew caught him and nailed a bodyslam.  Drew hooked the leg of his winded opponent and got the 3 count in only 5 minutes.  Drew wins the match in dominating fashion.  His celebration is cut short when MJ says they have a “money in the bank” contract and Gumbo is cashing that in right now.  This time, Gumbo was really on the offensive and dominated the match for about 95% of it.  Towards the end, Drew began a comeback and neither Gumbo nor MJ were ready for it.  We join this match now at the 20 min mark.

===== In the 20th minute of the match: =====

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a SERIES OF SLAPS....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 21st minute of the match: =====

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a CORKSCREW PESCADO....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a ONION TWIST (MUTA LOCK)....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...
"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 22nd minute of the match: =====

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 23rd minute of the match: =====

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine reverses BURBON STREET BLUES!
Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a BODYSLAM....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against BODYSLAM but is unsuccessful.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3
"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo was pinned by Drew the Canadian Love Machine!!!

Drew the Canadian Love Machine wins with a BODYSLAM over "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo!!!

Drew the Canadian Love Machine gets the win and retains his World Title.  Gumbo and MJ leave the ring defeated and Drew stays to celebrate with the fans as balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling to bring our 3 day extravaganza to an end.


Final Editor’s note:  the following roster changes will be effective immediately. 

Covfefe (turned back to the light side) and back to being Magnum Kone;
Super Shockmaster retired;
Southern Belle retired;
The Fiend retired;
DJ CJ Spice retired


Thanks for reading.  We will be back in 2018 with more great action from HCW.  Merry Christmas and have a happy and safe holiday season.