Wednesday, May 25, 2016

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2016 #474 - Get to know:


Hello fans and welcome back to the HCW:  Get to know segment.  Today, we have a large group of individuals to introduce to you.

First, we start with the Townsend/Huber Clan.  Wilber Townsend and his clan hail from the Deep Woods in Arkansas.  Wilber is very creepy looking (appears to not know what a razor is).  He has his little cousin Emerson “Turnip” Townsend tagging along (think a cross between Spike Dudley & Chris Von Erich). Turnip is too small to be a wrestler and would just get killed if he stepped foot in the ring.   Nothing short of a “super soldier serum” would help him out at all.  Poor guy. Wilber, on the other hand, is a bit portly but he knows how to handle himself in the ring.  He speaks in monologues and reminds me of something out of the movie “Deliverance”.

The Hubers are cousins of Wilber and are just as creepy looking.  Ferb Huber, Butch Huber and “Mountain Man” Junior Huber make up the trio.  Junior’s real name is Zeke but he hates that name and prefers Junior instead.  Butch is the older sibling with Junior being the youngest.  These guys are just brutes and blindly take their orders from Wilber.  They excel in 6 man tag team action and will prove to be a team to be reckoned with.

From “The Big Top” in Circustown, USA, we have the Muscles Family.  Muscles McGuire, Thorpe and Weasley round out this trio.  These guys will most likely be the comedy relief of the HCW and draw laughs and applause from the crowds wherever they go.  They like to run around wearing rainbow colored bull horns on their heads.  The kids seem to love them so we’re thinking they may be a cash cow when it comes to merchandising.  We’ve seen them in action too and their opponents should not take them lightly.


The next bunch of guys were found locally and, although not an official team, they are referred to as “The California Connection”. First, we have “Dude USA” Mick Rude:  Dude U.S.A. 6'½" tall and 269#. Kind of a Dude Love rip off with a Ravishing Rick Rude finisher aptly named "The Dude Awakening".  Next we have Jesse California.  Jesse is a pretty boy with a sculpted physique.  He claims to have been held back in other federations but says that will not happen here.  Jesse says he’s bringing his A-Game and promises to win gold.  The Gold Standard Bruce Biltmore and his partner The Hollywood Star both hail from Hollywood, CA and dress in gold outfits.  They too are a bit on the odd side as they use their physical appearance to throw their opponents off their game and then capitalize with their talent. 

Two of our newest female members include (f) Jazz Emmett who hails from NY and has trained with some of the greats such as Trish Status and Lita.  (f) Kimberly Kiccass is a protégé of bombshell Gail Kim.  Kimberly trained in Hawaii and comes with a lot of experience under her belt.  She is eager to showcase her talents.

Newly turned manager Master Bull has finalized the contracts with the Savior & Drew the Canadian Love Machine and in a surprising turn of events, included the Fiend.  Bull adds these three to his #1 draft pick “The Elitist” Reid Rothchild.  Bull says that just because he manages all four men does not mean all will become part of a faction like Prestige Inc. was.  Bull wants to keep Reid and the Fiend in singles action only and will concentrate his efforts to bring the Canadian Express (his words, not ours) to tag team glory.  If tag team gold eludes them, he is not against taking them into singles territory.  Bull says the Fiend, the Savior and Drew will be referred to as “The Static Age” when teaming together.


That is all for now.  Stay tuned as we work our way to crowning new champs.

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